To avoid being a simp, you have to understand who a simp is, and how it can pose a negative effect in one’s life.
who is a simp?
A simp is a short form for simpleton. It is usually a slang used as a form of mockery for men who goes to a larger extent to impress women, with the hope of getting sexual gratification or attention from them. These category of men don’t just impress women, but most times they do that at the detriment of their own happiness, which is the bone of contention. And this implies a loss of self confidence and pride.
In a dating world, women are naturally emotional and love to be pampered. They crave for support and protection from their male counterpart, while men are known as the provider. It is not uncommon for a man to physically express his affection for his woman via his actions.
However, when this affection comes in a way that denotes low self esteem, it becomes less attractive and a big turn off for women. Self love and appreciation should always come first, this is when people will learn to love and value you more. But if reverse is the case, no matter the depth of your love expression, you”ll always be taken for granted.
One of the most attractive trait in a man is Confidence. This confidence is fueled by a typical masculine trait which involves the ability to protect and be in charge. This is the dream of every young woman. Having that man who takes in charge of his relationship and exhibits his masculine prowess and not the other way round.
Having known a glimpse about the word “simp”, to avoid being a simp, we must learn how to identify one, so you would know what you ain’t doing right in other to retreat.
How to identify A simp.
He never takes no for an answer.
This is one of the most unattractive trait of a simp. The more you reject him, the closer he comes and the more attach he becomes. It is common to effortlessly pursue that which is less available, it is human nature to crave for what we can’t easily have, however, there should be a limit. It all entails learning how to master our emotions, so we don’t bruise our EGO and self worth.
While An Alpha male will approach a lady he’s been admiring for so long with confidence, and if peradventure he was rejected, even though he’s feeling heartbroken and disappointed, he will respectfully walk away with his dignity intact. Reverse is the case for a simp. They are often persuasive, they would keep pleading and enduring all manner of insults and mockery just to gain attention.
At the end of the day, they might end up loosing everything. Including the lady in question and the EGO as a man. So if you find yourself persistently pleading for a woman’s attention in your life, while she keeps taken you for granted, this is unhealthy, and a sign that you’re turning into a simp. Until you attach value to your self and start acting the opposite, she may never give you a chance. To avoid being a simp, learn to walk away when necessary.
He’s too pushy.
A simp is that man who lacks understanding because he wants things to be done in his own way, even if he has to consistently plead for it. Such attitude can turn a man into a nag.
When a woman says “I’m not in the mood to talk, your simple response should be “Fine, let’s talk later, hit me up whenever you’re ready, or you can simply remain mute. But when you’re response goes thus. Why can’t we talk, why aren’t you in a good mood? Are you avoiding me, please talk to me am loosing my mind, please don’t ignore me. It is a sign that you’re too pushy and this will even irritate her more to avoid you further.
Neediness.
Neediness is an attitude common to women, when a man shows off an act of neediness, he’s most likely to be considered as a simp. A needy person always demands for attention, a needy person wants to be around someone he or she love, irrespective of how inconvenient it might be for the other person.
When you request for a woman’s time, either to invite her over, take her out on a lunch or dinner, or take a walk with her, and she replies that she’s busy. The best response that should follow thus is” ok I understand you perfectly”. guess we can do this some other time, this response sparks up confidence. It implies that while you seek out for her time, you are not too desperate about it.
On the contrary, when you reply with responses like. ” You’re avoiding me, am I not good enough to hang out with? you’re always busy whenever I need your attention, why are you hurting me? It signifies neediness. And even if she was intentionally avoiding you, she will do that more. You can’t force someone to give you attention when they don’t feel like.
He tries to buy his love.
This is a typical characteristics of men regarded as “simp”. They try to gain attention of women with material things with the assumption that once he provides everything she needs, she will succumb to his advances, hence they sacrifice a lot even when she’s yet indecisive about being with him. but this is a wrong mindset. Such men usually end up having their feelings toiled with, because they will end up loosing both their resources and sacrifice, because true love comes from the heart and can’t be forced. They will only end up attracting materialistic women, who have no intention to be in a relationship with them, but just for the benefits.
Desperation.
Simps often exhibit the signs of desperation. When you’re desperate to have a woman even with her cruel attitude towards you, and constant rejections, it could simply be identified as an act of simping.
Men who attract ladies of their choice weren’t desperate about having them, but rather were confidential about themselves. This is why it seems women easily fall for bad boys. Those bad boys seems to know exactly the weak point of ladies. They show more confidence and avoid being vulnerable, which makes them irresistible among the female folks.
How to avoid being a simp.
Don’t be vulnerable to your Emotions.
The first step to avoid being a simp is to resist vulnerability. No matter where your emotions leads you to, learn to control it. Emotional vulnerability can make you blind towards reality. In as much as you desire to have that woman in your life, she’s hot, classy, gorgeous, attractive and eloquent, but not at the expense of your mental health.
If the feeling isn’t mutual, try to let it go. Don’t become a slave to your emotions to the point of becoming so obsessed. This kind of vulnerability is what turns men into simp.
Work on your personality.
Another subtle way to avoid being a simp is to work on your personality.
We are all naturally attracted to unique personalities. The kind of people you will attract largely depends on the kind of qualities you possess. There are men who don’t necessarily woo ladies, yet have a lot of ladies craving for their attention.
They are neither pushy nor desperate, but rather their personality gives them the edge and makes them a spec to women of their choice. Be that kind of man. Spend more time in self development than in begging for women’s attention.
learn to accept rejection.
To avoid being a simp, learn to accept rejection in other to let go easily. Being a hot guy doesn’t imply that you’re every woman’s dream.
No matter how good you’re, there are women who may still not find you attractive. It is quite normal. When you adopt such mindset, you won’t be desperate or pushy about having any woman in your life, no matter the qualities they possess. You”ll find it more easier to let go amidst rejection.
Adopt self love and appreciation.
Self love is the best antidote towards managing emotions. When you love and value yourself enough, you will never feel obliged to beg for love and attention. Loving yourself include being fulfilled with your own company without depending on another for your happiness. With such love and value, it will be difficult to act like a simp around that hot girl in your vicinity.
Let love lead naturally.
To avoid being a simp, don’t try to impress a lady with gifts or money. Otherwise, she will always see you as a tool for exploitation, especially if the feeling ain’t mutual. Don’t be in a haste to make certain sacrifices or commitment, till you ascertain her true intentions and level of commitment.
Love shouldn’t be monetized for any reason, if it’s not given freely, then it never worth it.
