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Getting rid of toxic relationships when in love


Getting rid of toxic relationships when in love 1
Getting rid of toxic relationship

Getting rid of Toxic relationships should be included as one of your new year resolution.

What is a Toxic relationship? Just as the name implies, it is an Unhealthy type of relationship which rather than become a benefit to you poses as a threat to your emotion and future. It is that type of relationship which gives you the reason to lament and sob often.

Unfortunately, so many folks are so engulfed by their emotions and sentiments that they rarely recognize they are in a toxic relationship. They can feel the torture, pains, restlessness, heart ache and Emotional manipulation. Yet they are so skeptical to take a walk.

Breaking up with their ex seems as one of the difficult task ever . Convincing such kind of people is synonymous to having a camel go through an eyes of needle. As No amount of conviction gets   them to change their mind .  they always remain adamant thereafter. Except they’ve made a personal  decision to take a walk.

However,  getting rid of toxic relationship is very necessary especially if you are aiming at leading a healthy life style and having a bright future. All these can be interrupted by a toxic relationship. I have seen some folks who grew so lean despite their earnings and good living environment as a result of excessive worries emerging from their abusive  relationships. They have everything required to be happy in life but they ain’t. I have equally seen some others who got fired  from their place of work because they couldn’t concentrate.

The thought of how bad their relationship is, had  suddenly engulfed their mind to the point of loosing concentration at their work place. Which led to their outright failure. Some others had  lost passion to pursue their  dreams because their mind was not settled to do so. The worst scenario being those who rejected their rightful potential life partner in the bid to save a relationship which had already failed or at the verge of failing.. All these are the reasons why getting rid of a toxic relationship should be included in our

To do list especially as the year just began. You really don’t want to loose yourself and dreams trying to secure someone who you might end up loosing thereafter. The worse feeling is loosing yourself while trying to secure something which ain’t reliable at the end. Before we explain some ways by which we can possibly get rid of toxic relationship, let’s look at some reasons why we often find it  difficult to detach ourselves from toxic relationships.


Getting rid of toxic relationships?why is to such a big deal and how can you deal with it?

The feelings that you won’t find anyone like your ex

This is one of the common reason why getting rid of  toxic relationship has proven to be one of the biggest task ever. The spark, infatuation and emotional feelings we feel at the intimate stage of the relationship makes it difficult for us to face the reality.  and realize the fact that our partner ain’t the right one for us.

We rarely admit the fact that the relationship is unhealthy for us, even when the signs are obvious.that feelings makes us to see only the positive sides of our partner, even when their negative sides seems to  outweigh their  positive sides. It makes you assume that you may never meet someone like your partner. Until you realize that your partner have their flaws too, Until you realize that the only solution that can liberate you from that assumption is by  walking away, you might remain stuck in such relationship for long.

Being scared of single hood and starting all over again.

So many people have had their entire life so tied to their relationship in such that when it suddenly became over, they find it difficult to move on or remain single for a while  . And that’s why they often jump into a rebound relationship which ends up hurting them thereafter.

The fear of remaining single is also the reason why most people have refused to take a walk from a toxic relationship even  when their life is at stake. The best way to get over this thought is to realize your self worth and become self confident in yourself. Understand the fact no one has the right to your happiness except you, and no one has the right to treat you wrong without your consent .

The fear of rejection.

This is the common fear that has get us stuck in life. That fear that you’ve been rejected by someone, hence no other person finds you worthy of their love. And so you rather remain stuck in an abusive relationship than take a bow.  Getting rid of toxic relationship entails conquering those fears.realizing the fact that your abusive partner just counts as one individual out of the entire and numerous population of human in the world.



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5 mistakes to avoid on a first date.

5 mistakes to avoid on a first date. 2

And so you’ve finally accepted to go out with him/her on a first date after so much deliberations and persuasion. Taking a decision to go out with them on a first date either implies that you want them for a lasting relationship or probably want to have a nice time with them. either way, is necessary to co-ordinate yourself well so as to achieve your aim and reason as regards to the first date.

First dates are like trials. You really ain’t sure of what to expect. Neither are you aware of what the other expects from you. So in that case, You have to be of good conducts, and equally be yourself so as not to ruin the chances of things progressing to the next level if actually it was meant to do.

Here are five common mistake you must avoid.


This is one of the common attitude a lot of people portray on a first date with the intention of trying to impress their partner, without realizing they maybe ruining their chances of having the aim of the date accomplished. Pretense only gives a false picture about you. and this is the one of the major reason why so many relationship never passed the honey moon phase. The relationship which ought to have began with honesty all started with pretense, thereby making one or both partners loose their trust on each other.

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Because with time, they got to realize that their partner wasn’t what they claimed to be after all. Being honest especially on the first date helps to build a lasting trust with each other, if you both are looking up towards having a committed relationship.


Don’t be pushy with him/her. Avoid rushing things so you wouldn’t appear needy. Just allow the conversation to flow naturally.

The best type of relationship is the one in which both couples started off as friends. Then later progressed to lovers. Is wrong to begin the conversation by asking where the relationship is heading to? remember you are not yet in any relationship. Don’t assume one already. Is good to let something lead to the topic. Neediness is a big turn off to most people. And am sure you wouldn’t like them seeing you as one.


Ladies are usually the culprits here. When a man invites you for a date, courtesy demands that you make a responsible order . Don’t be greedy or inconsiderate.

Don’t make him spend more than he budgeted For. If he has to pay the bill all by himself, try as much as possible not to make things complicated for him. order moderately. And please endeavour not to bring your friends along. Expects he requests you do that. Truth is that, he may be trying to know how materialistic you can be. And this may ruin your chances of having things move to the next level and probably chase away your potential spouse.


this is specifically for men who has little or no control over their sexual libido.

Wheather a woman decides to visit you at home or at an eatry or parks. It only means she trusts you enough. Please try as much as possible not to betray that Trust. Control your sexual emotions.

Don’t attempt touching her intimately or in her sensitive Part without her permission. Remember she is trying to know who you are and how secured she can feel with you. If you try to mess things up at this stage, chances are that she may decline your next invitation.

Trusting easily.

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Your first date could be someone you’ve known for quite sometime or just met recently. Assuming the later is the case, do not loosen up your self.

Be friendly and hostile, and at the same time, still see them as a stranger Till you’ve known them well.

A lot of people had unknowingly fallen victims to rape. Some were drugged and raped, while others were duped. Don’t make your first date happen in a secluded area. Always Be conscious with your environment in other to detect any unusual or suspicious movement from them.

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5 Red flags to look out for in a relationship

5  Red flags to look out for in a relationship 5

There are so many red flags which often indicate an unhealthy relationship. but unfortunately, so many folks pay less attention to it till they are taken unawares either by break up or signs exhibited by their partner indicating that they are loosing interest. Break up doesn't just occur. there are usually warning signals , but we chose to ignore with the assurance and believe that our significant other might improve for better. It may happen though, but often times, reverse is usually the case. And so you may end up with disappointment. Do you desire to move away from a non -committed relationship?

Here are some red flags to you must look out for.


You can't cherish someone or something when you don't have value for them. The way you handle your new apple phone will be quite different from the way you handled your previous mobile phone. You know the difference ? Because so much value is placed on the former than the later owing to the fact that it is quite expensive. You will get a screen guide to protect the screen. You will avoid getting it close to water or any other thing which poses a great risk to its life span.

Similarly, The way your partner treats you, determines how he/she values you. A lot of folks often complain of their partner's unavailability towards their emotional feelings. Have you ever tried confiding in your partner at challenging times only to find out that they were too busy for you. They are always distant, that you hardly get their attention. This is a great red flag you need not to ignore. Such people always complain of their busy jobs or business as an excuse to justify their bad attitude. This is also a signore of red flag When you have value on someone, you would always spare out time out of your busy schedules to be with them.


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Having to cope with an infidel is one of the greatest challenge a lot of people face in their relationship. They would cheat on you, and plead for forgiveness. You would forgive them, with the expectation that they wouldn't repeat the attitude again. But rather than change for good, they grew to worse.

Cheating is a habit that often Leads to addiction if not kept at check or stopped. Imagine dating someone who makes you feel insecure at all times, it can be frustrating.

They make you paranoid, makes you freak out every now and then. You can't even trust your best friend with them because they will end up trying to lure them to bed. Cheating is a sign that shows you ain't so important to someone, because if they value you, they wouldn't cheat on you. This is also an important red flag you need to pay attention to.


This is another red flag you need to look out for in your relationship. Does your partner expects you to behave like a perfect angel? This is a great red flag. One of the greatest challenge is the ability to tolerate and condone each other's flaws. Imagine a relationship where both partners fight each other on regular basis over a trival issue which ought to be settled amicably. this a sign of red flag and ought to be watched out for. no perfect relationship exists. There is no such thing as flawless relationship.

A healthy relationship can only be achieved when two imperfect individuals sees beyond their imperfection. And still deem it necessary to love and respect each other. if you are dating someone who often flares at any slightest provocation, flags you when a mistake is done or rain abuses on you on regular occasions. Then you need to quit such relationship. Intolerance is a red flag that you need to look out for.

Acting bossy.

No matter the nature of your job, your social status, family background or body size. Your partner ought to treat you with respect if he/sje truly loves you. relationship is not a labour market which depends on the qualification of its employee to get promoted or become successful. A successful relationship is dependent on the effort of both parties. If you are dating a partner who speaks to you in a rude manner, demands you do something for them rather than request, orders you around like his employer because he/she thinks they are older or more qualified than you. . Respect needs to be accorded to one another, irrespective of the other's age, social status or academic qualification


To err is to human and to forgive is to divine. No matter how careful you are, you can't erase that possibility of stepping into someone's toe or having people step into yours as well.

A relationship without forgiveness is like an area without drainage. Because no matter how clean they are, it can't rule out the possibility of having mosquitoes breed around as a result of stagnant waters.

Are you in a relationship With someone who finds it difficult to forgive you.? Always threatening you with break up? then you need not to ignore such red flags.

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How to build trust in a relationship

How to build trust in a relationship is an article which provides a detailed guide line on the steps needed to achieve a trust worthy relationship. Trust is vital in everyday aspect especially in our interaction with others.

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You did a business transaction with someone and entrusted your hard earned with them without any fear or doubt. You know why? Trust was involved. You wouldn't have believed in them, but this trust didn't just emerged from somewhere. It was triggered by something. Probably your dealings or experience with them in the past. They gave you reasons to believe in them.

Trust is the reason why you could leave your house key with a friend. Trust is the reason why you gave your ATM card and the pin to a friend to assist you in withdrawal. Now assuming they had betrayed you in the past or done something suspicious, would you have entrusted them with your belongings. No right? This is to tell you how essential trust is. Now the question is how can does this trust happen in a relationship? Some things has to be put into place before it becomes successful. Just like a house, trust is said to be the foundation. And you know how important foundation is right? It determines the strength of the building. No matter how huge or beautiful any house is. When the foundation is not right, there is always a risk of getting down at any point in time.

Three ways to build trust in a relationship.

1. Being honest and transparent.

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Honesty is one major ways to build trust in a relationship. Just like was earlier explained. , trust doesn't emerge on its own. You create room for it. Imagine having a son/daughter from your previous relationship and then hid it from

Spouse for a very long time. Unfortunately, they got to find out from your friend or stranger? How would they feel? Do you think they would ever believe in you again?. Yes they may forgive you. But the truth is, it will be rare and almost impossible for them to trust you again. Even when they try to do, there would always be some traces of doubt. This is why most relationship and marriage had collapsed of at the verge of collapsing. If there is a secret you would like your partner to know about. Please don't hold it back, endeavour to let it out on time. They may get mad at you, but it is better they are mad at you for some days, and let go of it. Than having it revealed from other people, then leaving with the trauma for the rest of Your life.

2.check your life style .

Life style is probably one of the reason why people loose trust on their partner. You see people vouching for their spouse even when someone tries to blackmail him/her of cheating. They believe in them because they lead a honest life style. They ain't doing anything suspicious. We are human and we tend to be controlled by what we see rather than what could be true. You might not be cheating on your partner but always doing things which could jeopardize their chances of trusting in you. Hence the doubts . Chatting with random men/women at odd hours, Tip toeing to the next room to receive calls and denying your partner access to your mobile phone are some of the ways you can unknowingly create room for Suspicion.


3.Third party interference.

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Couple having a dispute on the sofa at home in living room

Avoiding third party interference is another way to build trust in a relationship. Nobody will be willing to confide in someone who can't keep secret. Your partner may wish to confide in you, but may refrain if he/she discovers that you are someone who always involves a third party in an issue which ought to be settled amicably between you both. Third party interference bridges the lack of trust in a relationship. For you to build a trust in your relationship, you have to learn how to keep some certain secrets to yourself. Imagine your significant other hearing about a discussion you both had from your friend. He/she may not trust you enough to confide in you some other days.

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3 Signs of obsession in a relationship

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Obsession in a relationship is an unhealthy habits in relationship that has led to so many heartbreaks. It is often associated with exhibiting worried attitude and misinterpretation of love. There is huge difference between loving your partner and being obsessed about them.

Love is a wonderful feeling, being in love with the right person gives one a self satisfaction and excitement, however, when your feelings suddenly begins to affect your daily activities, sense of reasoning and other aspects of your life, then is time to re evaluate and examine your self thoroughly…to know if is truly love or obsession.

Obsession could lead to depression, anxiety, suicidal attempt and prolong heartache. You often hear people say wired things like”if he/she leaves me, I will commit suicide .my life is incomplete without him/her. these are some signs of being obsessed with a partner.



when you find you self always wanting to be with your significant other, desiring to hear their voice every now and then, neglecting other important events in other to be with them. Not giving them a breathing space, stalking them constantly on every social media.

Freaking out when you see them with someone of the opposite sex who might just be a friend or colleague, then you are obsessed with them and this can ruin your relationship with them if not kept in check. Nobody wants a clingy partner.

Being Emotionally stable attracts a lot of respects and boosts self confidence from your partner. Else they might get scared and walk away when you choke them with so much love. Or rather take you for granted. Always give them a breathing space, develop self love as that will make you become self confident and not rely on someone for your happiness

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when you find you self doing unusual and awkward things just to please your partner, then you are definitely obsessed with them.

Love is sacrificial, however, sacrifices should not be made at the detriment of your happiness. You should love your partner as your self and not more than your self. You want to get drawn all because they are not reciprocating your love….this is a crazy act and sign of OBSESSION. Ask your self, if they happened to be in your shoes, will they do the same.?love should make so wise as a serpent and not foolish as a goat.

being possessive

Possessive people tends to be more obsessed with their partner more than people who had built confidence on themselves. They wish you would abandon their friends, family members or colleagues or probably give up on your dreams just to give them undivided attention. They tend to forget there was life before you met them. This kind of attitude leads to wired imagination. And before you know what has happened, they become obsessed with their partner with the mindset that life would cease to exist without them.

Finally, when you love your partner and put your whole trust and confidence in them without realizing that things might turn awful someday, is also a sign of OBSESSION. See also

Do not allow your emotion becloud your sense of reasoning,to the point of neglecting your values, purpose and other reasons of living. Always be in control of your emotions if you desire a lasting relationship. Else depression might set in when the unexpected happens . In such that you will Assume that your life has automatically come to an end just because the relationship turned soar. Building your confidence helps you understand the fact that there was a life without them. And that life ought not to come to an end because of their sudden loss of interest.

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4 reasons why Love is not just enough

Love is not just enough is a detailed article explainning while love alone wouldn’t make a happy relationship. But tolerance understanding and trust.

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Some couples started off good, with lots of spark and mutual feelings for each other intact. Often got admiration and envy from people. Had a very strong bond which surpasses that of blood relations. But all of a sudden, they began living as strangers, the once admired spark and intimacy vanished into thin away. Break up’s and divorce suddenly became the next sought for. There was no fights, then what actually went wrong?

Love is like a money

This is a question a lot people often ask on regular basis. On discovering that their relationship suddenly became bored and wiered after the honey moon phase. Where are all those promises of being together forever through thick and thin? Does it mean they were all scam? I’m sure you are probably asking the same question right now. But, Before I give you an answer, let me start up with this illustration.

You need more than money

Money is essential when planning to build a house right? As a matter of fact, it is a major factor to be consider before mapping out your plan.

But inspite of its vitality, money alone can never breed a well built and furnished apartment. Except you opted for renting or buying. But if you are planning to start from the scratch, a lot of other things needs to be put into consideration such as raw materials (sand, cement and blocks) the service of an engineers and team of builders which would enable the building get to its climax.

Just like money, love is very vital, But needs to be sustained by some other factors. Love is an emotional feeling which comes as a result of being attracted to someone for one reason or the other. It is natural to fall in love with someone.

But often times, it is quite difficult to get the love sustained and have it last for a very long time. Am sure with this brief explanation, I’ve answered your question on why a relationship which started off good suddenly turned out bored. It all boils down to the fact that couples only got into the relationship as a result of their mutual feelings alone.

They had no other ingredients sustaining the love. They knew nothing else about them selves aside the fact that they were in love. And because love is not just enough to sustain a relationship, they usually end breaking up with each other. Imagine a house without any property? Not even a bed to lay one’s head, How would you live comfortably? Being in love is just like having a roof under your head. But there are other properties needed in building that to get you sustained. This indicates that love is not just enough to sustain a relationship.

This can be numerated as follows.


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It is easy to fall in love, but it takes .tolerance to remain in the same love.

A lot of couples couldn’t make it as soon as the honey moon phase was over because they are ignorant of each other’s flaws, they were so overwhelmed with the intimacy and were carried away by their estacy feelings without considering for other vital qualities. And soon as their partner began displaying their attitude, they got fed up and threatened to quit. Love attracts two heart, But tolerance keeps them glued to each other. When you have feelings for someone, but can’t condone their attitude.

There is every tendency that the relationship won’t last for long Because love is not just enough to sustain a relationship.


For relationship to excel, both couples need to come in terms with each other. It takes two to tango.

When a relationship lacks understanding from both couples, they tend disagree on everything. Pick quarells on irrelevant issues and fight each other on a regular basis. For instance, One party wants to do things in a particular way he/she chose. while the other would rather prefer it to be done in his/herown way. Resulting to conflicts. Another instance is having to compare your partner with some other people, which makes them feel hurt and might in turn lead to break up.

But understanding entails accepting them the way they are, helping them to get over their weakness rather than compell them to behave like someone else. You love people by tolerating and understanding their weakness point. and not by developing feelings For them because love is not just enough to sustain a relationship.


When two lovers begins to suspect each other’s movement, insecurity sets in, which may lead to break up. Insecurity is one of the red flags that tends to destroy a relationship so fast. an insecure person often lives in doubt, gets paranoid easily. He/she lacks a settled mind.

And for that reason, may find it difficult to concentrate on their relationship. You can’t claim to be in love when you have doubts about your partner, you can’t claim to be in love when you ain’t transparent with your partner. Trust is earned, for a relationship to strive well, is necessary that both couples gives each other benefits of doubt at all times. They shouldn’t create room for suspicion.

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4 ways social media influence relationship

The influence of social media on relationships is an article focusing on some of the ways by which social media has posed great risk in so many relationships today.

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The presence of social media is one of such ways in which life has been made easier since the invention of internet and technology. Its advantage can not be over emphasized, ranging from communication with friends, colleagues and family friends, reuniting with old friends, sharing of pictures ,videos and posts.
However, despite its advantage, it has as well posed a risk to so many relationships and ruined so many marriages.

Before the internet came to be. Our parent had the most enviable relationship. Then, there was no mobile phone to even text or communicate with each other. Yet they had the most awesome marriages.

As there were less drama. But these days, one can’t deny the fact that there are so many failed relationships, divorce and break up’s has been on a rapid increase too. What has suddenly gone amiss. Where are we getting it wrong?
The reason could be attested towards so many drama’s emnacting from social media ranging from fake life style, pretense, strong desire to impress the society and audience, imitating other people’s life style, With this social media has caused more harm than good in relationships today. And some of the effects are.

brings about Comparision. 8

Comparison is one of the greatest influence of social media in today’s relationship. So many relationships has been ruined as s result of comparison from fake lives of people being displayed on social media.

The truth is that sometimes people who often display their happy moments on social media are struggling with depression but chose to hide under the guise of social media. They fake being

Happy with their spouse whereas they are actually enduring their relationships. And this may lead to comparisons from their fellow friends watching and admiring them. They will begin to see their spouse as not being competent enough, they will be envious of the other person, hence the comparison which may lead to marital issues.

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Sometimes, social media freak tend to exert pressures on their partner. They pay attention to irrelevant things, they measure the rate of their partner’s love with criteria which matters less. I’ve had a lot of women complained on how their partner wouldn’t show them off on social media especially on their special events like birthdays and anniversary. They would nag their partner endlessly and question their love. Despite doing other things to express his love. They fail to understand that not everyone actually fancies social media dramas and that doesn’t depicit lack of love or disinterest. Such women end up ruining their relationship .


Communication is important in every relationship. But unfortunately, social media freaks often get glued to their phones when discussing with their partner. And thier partner sees this act is a sign of neglect and disrespect. Sometimes, they do this ignorantly because they are addicted to social media. Their partner’s usually end up complaining of lack of attention. And if they didn’t quit the habit, they may end up loosing their relationship.

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This is the major and most common negative effects of social media on relationships today. People who are social freak or whose hobbies business or skills Solely depends on their online presence have the tendency of loosing their relationship more than their counterparts especially if they are dating insecure people.

Social media has raised a lot of suspicion among couples ranging from intimate chats From a member of an Opposite sex to unusual comment, likes and call. Lack of trust among couples seems to be on the increase too. One or both partners often keeps tabs on the other. Monitoring their activities and people they often communicate with. With the intention that the other might be cheating on him/her. This gives rise to unnecessary arguments, misunderstanding and fights. Even when nothing seems to be wrong

You may also find this helpful .

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4 Best ways to respond to silent treatment

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Best ways to respond to silent treatment is an eye catchy post which gives a detailed solution on ways to handle being at the receiving end.

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse whereby an individual deliberately ignores the other with the intention of making him/her feel bad or as a way of getting back to them.

Remember we earlier discussed about communication. And how it enhances a relationship. Now imagine a scenario where there is no communication between couples. They live as house mates, all they do is go about their various activity and retire to bed at night. And the routine continues. Feels absurd right? Such relationship is bound to fail in no distant time.

The worst scenario is being at the receiving end. You want to communicate, you want your partner’s attention, but unfortunately, you kept being ignored. The feelings is similar to being inflicted with pains yet with no physical injury or bruises. But the question is? How do you stop this silent but severe treatment being inflicted on you. .

Best ways to respond to silent treatment.

1. Find out the reason

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Finding out the reason behind every action exhibited by your partner is one of the best ways to respond to silent treatment. As the saying goes, there is no smoke without fire. Often times, Silent treatment does not just surface from no where.

Take your mind back and reflect on how your relationship has been with your partner or spouse some few days or weeks back. Was there any misunderstanding? was there any unresolved issues? This could be reason for his/her action towards you. You both need to revist the issue and settle your difference amicably.

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Silent treatment

2.Put your Ego aside

Ego is one of the major killer of relationship. Everybody wants to have this feelings of

Supremacy, hence finding it so difficult to apologize. Most men would raher exhibit silent treatment on their woman than nag her, yell at her or hit at her when they are provoked.

Especially when the fault is Her’s and she refuses to admit. Yet the silent treatment hurts more than the other aforementioned abuse. At least one out of 10 women had confirmed this. Saying they rather prefer being nagged at or yelled at than ignored. Because it bruises their ego. Wouldn’t it be better to use the word “am sorry”,than to pretend you are OK, when you aren’t. Apology solves it all, let go of your Ego and have their attention. This is one of the proven way to respond to silent treatment.

3.give them space

We are looking at a scenario where you are sure you’ve done nothing wrong to deserve such treatment from your spouse or partner. Having spoken to them about it and yet nothing changed after all. Then give them space. Stop trying to get their attention. Just give them space so they can handle the issues they might be battling with. If at all there is any.

The best way to treat people who deliberately ignore you is to care less of their attitude towards you. Ignore them as well. The more you ignore them and act like you don’t care, the more curious they are to know what prompted to the sudden change. that’s http:// ttp://Reverse psychology m sure that very soon, when they realize you are no longer affected by their actions. they will seek for your attention. This is one of the best ways to respond to silent treatment

4.move on

In a case of a relationship where you’ve done everything humanly possible to ensure you renew your communication but all effort proved abortive, it could mean they are loosing interest but couldn’t brace up to break the ice. You’ve got no other option than to respect their privacy and move on too. Follow suit till they are ready to communicate with you again to avoid further heart break break.

Also read

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Importance of self love in a relationship

Importance of self love in a relationship is an eye opener for women who deserves to be respected by their significant other

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Importance of self love

Have you ever imagined giving out a car to someone when you can’t even afford a tricycle, sounds funny and absurd right? This is exactly what happens when you are in a relationship expecting to be showered with affection but yet you neither show love nor value yourself.

No wonder the bible says, love your neighbour as your self. Did you get that? “as your self”.

.This implies that the love must first begin with you. People only respect and value what attracts them. The way you present your life would go a long way to determine how people would treat you. A lot of people are undergoing emotional abuse because the value placed on their significant other superceeds that which they have upon themselves.

Hence are being taken for granted. A report once proofed that nearly 60%of women are emotionally abused by their partner’s on daily basis, yet are still stuck for fear of loneliness and benefits associated with such relationship.

Importance of self love

*It helps boost your confidence
* It attracts respect from your significant other.
* It helps you detect some red flags in a relationship .
*It helps you know when your partner is begining to loose interest.
*It makes you not to prioritize a relationship but focus on other vital aspects of your life…

Three ways to develop self love.

Work on your esteem .
It is not a speculation to state that people who lack self love often have low esteem.

They think less of themselves, always assumes they are failures or has nothing to contribute in life. This perception in turn goes a long way in affecting them psychologically thus leading to low esteem.

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Avoid dependency

Avoid Dependency
Being dependent on another may subjects you to emotional abuse especially if you are dating an egocentric fellow who feels you are entitled to them as long as they are responsible for your upkeep.

They will keep taking you for granted as long as you solely depends on them for everything. Such scenario could make you loose your self love. The best antidote is to work hard so as to be independent in such that no one would take you for granted and so you can easily leave the relationship if you feel is no longer safe for you.

Lead a well fulfilled life

Importance of self love in a relationship 22
Lead s well fulfilled life

Do you know that when your life is filled with so much interesting activities, adventures, dreams and visions. You would value yourself more and wouldn’t think of making relationship the center of your happiness. When there is an achievement or plans for achievement, you will be proud of yourself. But when it is all about relationship, your significant others often comes first in your mind. He will always take you for granted if your life is boring. No one wants to be with a fellow who’s daily routine does not go beyond waking up, eating and going to bed.
You remember those visions you have been nurturing and planning to accomplish?
What about those targets you once set?

The hobby you planned to turn into skill? Your usual hang out moment with friends and families? What suddenly happened to all these? It seems you’ve given up on them since you began the relationship.
You have to go back to them. Get a life. give your life a meaning and every other things will follow suit in no distant time. Quit acting like your life revolves around any person.

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3 ways to communicate effectively in a relationship.

3 ways to communicate effectively In relationship/marriage is a post aimed at helping couples understand the effective ways to communicate with each other to avoid conflicts

With the sudden rise in divorce and break up on daily basis, one could easily deduce that most relationships and marriages today lacks effective communication.

Communication is like a channel through which our thoughts, emotions and instincts can be made transparent and open. Without it, we may be stuck with our thoughts and opinion without having it heard.

As glued and attached a mother is to her infants, she still can’t detect the mood of the infants without communication. The child cries when hungry, gets mood swing when there is an urge to urinate or defeacate. The mother understands this and does the needful.

In school, lectures can pass their knowledge or information to the student with ease via communication. This has come to show how vital communication is. And relationships /marriage are not an exception.

3 Ways by which partners or couples can communicate effectively.

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Understand his/her body language

1.Body language

body language is a non verbal expression of our thoughts to others .

Body language differs in every individual, the way we react to things tends to differ individually. And understanding your partner’s body language is an effective way to enhance communication in your relationship .especially if he/she is an introvert.

To most women is a sign to indicate their crave for attention . A times, when she is angry, it doesn’t mean she wants to be left alone. She may want you to to to ask her reason for being angry. Then shower her with so Much attention. When you are both together, and all of a sudden, you discovered that she no longe respond to your conversation, she became mute, cold and absent minded. It means that something is amiss. You don’t have to wait for her to voice out. Endeavour to find out what prompted to such sudden change of mood.

2.Understand his mood.

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Understand his/her mood

Understanding your partner’s mood is a great way to communicate effectively with them. . Most marital and relationship occurs because both partners lack communication skilks.

A lot of people often complain of not getting their partner’s full attention, this could be attested towards wrong approach. You ought to know when best to approach your partner in other to get his undivided attention.

Approaching him/her when he/she is not in a good mood is a red flag and you may certainly be ignored. Making you feel rejected and heart broken. If he comes back after having a hectic day at work,

courtesy demands that you first greet him, help him with his brief case, allow him to have a warm bath, serve his dinner, probably allow him to take a little nap before brining up any issue. That is when he will most likely give you attention.

Nagging him with your demands, problems or family issues as soon as he steps into the house is a red flag. You maybe bringing up important issue to be discussed, but at the wrong time. It only shows insensitivity in your own part.

3.Tell your partner his/her offence.

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Tell them their offence

Another way to communicate effectively in a relationship is by telling your partner his/her offense.

They might be doing certain things without knowing you are being hurt. Your partner may talk to you in a sarcastic way during discussions. but due to difference in reasoning and understanding, you will get fuss.

You may begin to see it as an insult, while he/she views it more like a joke. The only way to get their attention to is to communicate. Don’t assume they already know they are hurting. Truth is that they might not see it that way, their actions might not be deliberate as you thought.