Do you always feel insecure in a relationship? Do you always have this negative feelings that no matter how healthy your relationship is, you still get scared every now and then?
Do you always feel unappreciated and less valued? Even when there’s no yet reason to feel that way. Do you often see yourself getting unnecessarily jealous for no course? If yes, then You are not alone in this.
We’ve all been there at one point in time, we’ve all experienced this. It seems like a norm but sadly, it is a negative trait which has the tendency of terminating a lovely relationship. It does not matter how long you’ve been together, once insecurity sets in, it will certainly pose an effect in the relationship in one way or the other.
Here’s a typical instance on how we feel insecure in a relationship.
Helen had called several times, but all to no avail. It rings and then goes unanswered. Could it be he’s seeing some other girl, or probably he’s lost interest but doesn’t know to reveal that to me to avoid being confronted. These were the exact thoughts running through her mind as she fling her phone annoyingly.
She never thought of other scenarios such as maybe he was currently busy and couldn’t take calls at the moment, or probably might be undergoing stress or some other challenges. Right there on the ground, her phone bleeped, it was a whatsapp message, but she ignored it. Few minutes later, she sent a text message expressing her bitterness and accusing him of negligence as the reason why he had refused to take her calls. As soon as she forwarded the text message, he saw the WhatsApp message, opened it and it and read thus ” baby please I will call you back in a jiffy, I’m so busy now”.
She read those lines again and again, and regretted being insensitive and impatience. Unfortunately, that costed her relationship, as it wasn’t the first time she was seen nagging and concluding easily as a result of her insecure feelings.
Her partner eventually grew tied of her consistent behavior, even when he needed someone to confide in during challenging moments at work.
Probably, you might be asking How can i feel secure in a relationship?
The first step is to discover the reason behind your insecure feelings. Now do you think henry began to feel insecure out of the blues? Certainly not. There are several reasons behind insecure feelings, and the earlier we discover it and curb, the better for us and the less chances of loosing our relationship.
5 Reasons why people feel insecure in a relationship
the past experience
One of the reasons why people feel insecure in a relationship can be attributed to their past .
some folks had never been lucky when it comes to relationship and matters of the heart. They had been jilted, disrespected, neglected and often time have their love taken for granted.
Such ugly experience often times tend to affect their psychology and perception about love. Some gave up on love and never believed they could found one again. While the few others who still hope and anticipate for love can’t just help it but feel insecure every now and then. The experiences they encountered in the past ignited so much fear in them. There is always this phobia that their current partner may begin behave like their ex . This is why people are being encouraged to avoid rebound Relationship. by taking their time to move on and get the past off their mind before venturing into a new relationship.
If only one can allow time heal the wounds, the past will naturally and gradually fade off from the memory.
so much Expectations.
It is natural to have a stereotyped imaginations on the way you expect to be treated by a partner when in a relationship.
But often times, things might not go according to our desire/ plan . hence the reason why we nag and feel insecure every now and then if reverse turns out to be the case.
The earlier we understand that our partner is just a mere mortal like us capable of disappointing at any time, the better for us. For instance, when we have this Imaginary feelings on how we expect our relationship to be and had built fantasies in our brain such as being woken up every morning with breakfast, being checked on daily basis and receiving gifts every now and then or expecting to be treated exactly the way we treat them, we will always feel Insecure and paranoid once reverse becomes the case.
The best is to make our inputs, and then allow nature take its course. Always have this mindset that if it works out fine, and if not. Life still has to go on.
Emotional instability – while is natural to feel emotional and sensitive a times, there are folks who are more emotional and sensitive than others. It is inherent in them and thus can’t help it,but feel insecure at every slightest provocation. Such people gets paranoid easily and panic whenever their call goes unanswered.
They will begin to imagine negative scenarios in their head which might turn out to be a false assumption. They can only learn to control their emotions and put it to check.
Lack of trust
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. A lot of people feel insecure in their relationship because the lost they once had for their partner is gone, probably because of a negative attitude they may have exhibited in the course of the relationship.
A handful of others couldn’t find themselves to trust in a relationship probably as a result of their past hurtful feelings. When there’s no trust, the feelings of being cheated on will never cease to exist from your mind even when it might be a false assumptions. Couples should stop giving rooms for suspicion. And in the case of a lost trust, forgiveness should be the best resort especially when there’s a remorseful feelings from the one who have erred. Letting go of the past can actually go a long way too.
This is another vital reason why people feel insecure. If you keep discussing your relationship ordeals to every dick and harry, you maybe advised wrongly, thus leading to comparison and envy. You may be compelled to compare your significant other with other folks, and then assume they don’t love you since they are not treating you in a particular way or doing things the way your friends/ colleagues do their’s in their own relationship.