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5 strategic ways to handle a cheating partner.


How to handle a cheating partner
How to handle a cheating partner


How can i handle a cheating partner? This question often sends cold silver to a lot of folks in a relationship/ marriage. You know why?  No one even  wants to accept the fact that they have a cheating partner.

No one wants to imagine that scenario or picture of being cheated on by their significant other.

Imagining or creating that picture of your spouse  sharing your matrimonial bed with another is so heart wrecking . No matter what, we don’t wish to accept  such tormenting reality and facts. As a man, imagine sharing your territory  with another woman? Imagine having your wife or partner deny you of sex.

Each time you try to touch her, she often resist, claiming to be  too exhausted or not in the mood, only to discover that she is actually cheating on you.  shocking right?? Words alone cannot describe such feelings.

Imagine having a hubby who is  rarely at home or often comes back home. Imagine having a partner who gives you less attention.

Always claiming to be in one business trip or the other. Too busy to communicate. And when he eventually comes back home, he is too exhausted to notice your presence. And the next thing is, he retires to bed like a log of wood.thus increasing the boredom in your relationship/ marriage.

Then all of a sudden, you went through his chat only to discover that his less attention, unavailability and divided attention was as a result of his cheating habit. He was actually giving some other attention while you were being lied to and deceived.

No matter how emotionally strong you are, discovering such shocking news will definitely get you demoralized and shattered . Even though we may not want to accept this reality, but the fact is that we can’t erase it either.

In life, we only have control over our actions, we are only accountable for our own decisions. We can’t really detect for others on how to live their life, no matter who they are to us or the bond we share with them. We can only learn to adapt and adjust to the situation while figuring out the best way to handle it.

It is so sad to imagine that a lot of people who really thought that they got married to the best partner in the world were woken by the harsh realities of life on discovering  that their gold wasn’t actually glittering as they thought. So how can we handle such scenario? In other to handle a cheating partner, we must first realize that cheating is a habit/  addiction.which might take some time to quit. So how can one Handle-a-Cheating-Partner?

5 strategic ways to handle a cheating partner.

Take a deep breath and calm down. 

In other to handle a cheating partner without breaking your relationship/ marriage, you have to apply wisdom. Since we all know that cheating is one of the Top reasons for divorce in most marriages. I know this might not be what you were expecting to hear.

A lot of people might be expecting such statements like scream, yell, confront him etc. But doing this, may only worsen the situation and give him/ her the confidence to cheat more. The first best approach to every situation in life is to take a deep breath and calm down. I know after going through his/ her phone, you might be tempted to yell, confront him in an aggressive way or even smash his/ her phone angrily.

But all this will only worsen the situation. Try to take a deep breath, as that will give you a clear mind to determine your next line of action.

Create a serene environment for communication.

Don’t always be in a haste to  confront them.  This is the mistake a lot of us make, we feel so agitated that we can’t control our temper at that moment.

We tend to overreact which might result to fights. You will end up creating a coarse rather than have your issues resolved. The best approach is to welcome them with all pleasure. Don’t deny him his meal. Serve him as usual, allow him to rest after having a stressful day. And then what next?

Is time for communication

So what do you have to say? This is where a lot of people gets stuck. Being skeptical on what to say and knowing how to handle the issue at this point can be so challenging.

But  whatever happens, try as much as possible to be polite. Remember is a communication and not a court case. Ask them to analyze the relationship/ marriage and tell where you went wrong? Indirectly ask them what their reaction would be if they ever caught you cheating?  Watch their reaction or reply?  With that you are beginning to pass the massage without attracting the attention of your neighbor. Then what next?

Their reactions about it.

After they have realized that you’ve known the truth, what was their reaction about it? Did they   deny? Or did they accept and promise to change? if the former was the case, you might try to prove them wrong by getting enough evidence to back your alleged complaint.

But if the later was the case, then urge them to make a promise that they would never commit the act again. Give them ultimatum and conditions on failure to comply. You must be so observant at this stage. This might be slow but one of the best ways to handle a cheating partner.

Avoid open confrontations. No matter where you see them with their lover, avoid creating a scene.

This is not only an immature act, but also embarrassing.  which will create a bad image to your relationship/ Marriage. And also create  a bad reputation for you both.

Talk to a family member or a counselor.

At this point, the burden might be so heavy on you that you will feel like sharing it to your closest friend or anyone who cares to listen. This might sound like a nice idea, however, you have to be careful on who you relate your family matters to.

Whether you are seeking for a way to handle a cheating partner or whatever challenges you might be having in your relationship/ marriage,  Don’t always allow a third party interference . this is because not everyone actually cares.  If you must talk to someone about it.

Choose a family member who is either related to you or your hubby,  Or a marriage counselor. Both families should have a brief meeting concerning the issue.  From there, you can conclude on what next to do. Either to quit or continue.








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5 Essential qualities to look out for in a partner. .





What are the essential qualities to look out for in a partner before venturing into a  a committed relationship? This is a very sensitive question that shouldn’t be ignored by both genders.  One of the reason why people fall out of love is usually because  they rushed in too quickly without taking some vital things into considerations.

They were   so carried away by abstract features which most times, doesn’t really matter much especially  if they have  the plans of moving the relationship to the next level. We all have our individual preferences  in a potential mate, we all have the qualities we wish to have in a partner. However,  our qualities may be right, as they are our personal choice. But there are “essential qualities” which can be translated as scale of preference. Implying that we have to choose from the most vital to the least vital. Except you are considering having just a  fling with no strings attached. Your preference in a partner can either make or mar you.

Here is a simple illustration. As human, our desires are insatiable. Even with an average income, we all desire to have comfort in life.  We have the need to drive an exotic cars, live in a very big and comfortable apartment, eat any delicacy of our choice and visit our dream  city.

However, we might not be able to have all this at our disposal. This is where the scale of preference comes in. Since these are desires/ wants, we have to concentrate on our needs. Pending when we become financially stable to meet our wants/ desires.

Similarly, our stereotyped quality in an individual is sometimes abstract and unrealistic. For instance, when asked about the qualities you want in your ideal Man or woman, our list will be endless. We will mention both the physical/ facial  attribute and inbuilt attribute. Tall, good shapes, nice curves, slim/ chubby body, macho body, big boobs, ass, flat tommy, good accent, smart, intelligent, humble and a sense of humor.

These are all good as we crave and anticipate for them. But the sad news is this, we may not see all in one individual, and this is where the bone of contention  lies. And in the bid to achieve all these, we might unknowingly pick unnecessary quality as our priority,thus leaving behind the vital ones which is  meant to guarantee our happiness forever.. This is where the need to spot out and choose the essential qualities amongst  the listed above comes into consideration.

So what are these essential qualities? How can you identify them? Let’s discuss.

what are the things -to-look-for-in-a-partner?


Essential qualities to look out for in a potential mate. 


At the mention of “submission”, every focus goes to the female gender. But the truth is that,,in marriage, submission is not gender based. For a relationship/ marriage to thrive, both couples need to submit to each other in love.

Submission here refers to respect. God instructed  women to be submissive to their husbands, but he didn’t stop there,  he went ahead to admonish men to love and respect their wives.

This implies that submission is one of the essential qualities needed for a relationship to thrive well. Imagine getting married to a woman who talks to you in a rude manner and talks back at you at any slightest provocation probably because she earns more than you. Or getting married to a man who assumes that he has the right to treat you the way he pleases because he is the head of the family.

These are little but major qualities we often overlook which tends to pose a big problem in the long run.  A lot of couples are living in a house rather than home. Now what’s the difference between a house and a home. A house is just a physical structure which can easily accommodate everyone including strangers. Whereas, a home is an abode made up of people who have similar interest and shares mutual connections.

A lot of men no longer have the desire to come back to their family after having a stressful day at home. They would rather hang out  with their friends, Because their home has suddenly turned to a house as a result of a disrespectful and non non-  submissive wife.

Most women  have lost the joy in their marriage,as a result of a hubby who assumes that being a man is a guarantee of acting bossy and becoming authoritative. Couples should love and respect each other irrespective of their age, qualification and social class.

Politeness .

No matter your flare in a relationship, don’t forger to include  politeness to it.

First impression they say matters a lot. The first impression they gave you on your first approach to them speaks a lot about their character.

Don’t get carried away by pretty face or curvy shape. Am certain that you don’t want a partner who talks to you  in a provocative way or a partner  who finds it difficult to use the word ” am sorry”.


In all your criteria in searching for a potential mate, don’t forget to include humility.

It is one of the essential qualities you must not overlook. A humble man/ woman is always keen and ready to admit his/ her fault and takes correction where necessary.  He/ she talks less but listens more. They are ever ready to  learn and broaden their knowledge, rather than remain static, they tend to be dynamic by being humble to learn and adjust.

On the contrary, arrogant   individuals rarely opens their mind to learn. They feel much comfortable with their personality and way of life. Everything they do seems perfect to them,   hence are not willing to adjust

Economically fit.

No matter how financially stable you are, if your wealth or source of livelihood, ain’t managed appropriately, it may vanish right before your eyes. Every man needs that woman who can manage his wealth and help him achieve more, rather than waste the little he has. As a responsible man aiming to attain an enviable height, you don’t need a wasteful or a  materialistic woman.

Now how can you identify a materialistic woman? Watch out her reaction on a first date. Does she make a descent order? or

Does she order like a glutton without considering your financial capability? How often does she make demands? How much does she need to buy groceries.

These are the things you ought not to overlook as it might become a huge problem in the future.

Essential qualities in a partner
Essential qualities in a partner.


Emotional maturity

Another essential quality you must not negelect is emotional maturity.  How emotionally mature are they in handling sensitive issues especially that which has to do with your relationships?  Are they ready and patience to settle  issues  amicably with you? Or will they always invite a third part. Can they cope during challenging times? These are the questions to ponder.





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Every youth ask, how can i overcome youthful exuberance?





How can i overcome youthful exuberance?

How can I accomplish my dreams amidst of peer pressure and societal influence? This is a question every youth who intends to make progress in life ask on daily basis. It is  easier to make plans, is easier to set up goals, is easier to map out list of intended dreams to accomplish and set out targets on when to do so. But unfortunately, adhering strictly to the target requires a lot of factors. While it may be possible, it can be quite demanding and  stressful.

You will certainly be faced with a lot of challenges, but with determination and focus, you can scale through to any height you desire.

Youthful stage is a stage filled with so much optimism, excitement and energetic feelings. As a youth, there is always an intense quest and desire to feel relevant, updated, maintain a stable social life and meet up with trends and happenings in the society. These desire is equally accompanied with the quest to succeed, accomplish one’s dream and achieve a lot.
But the question is?

Is it really possible to  balance both or should you forgo one for the other?
This is the major challenge a lot of youths are facing today. Trying to fit in to the societal standard, and at the same desiring to achieve tremendously in all their Endeavour.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with such desires. However, being successful in life takes a great deal of sacrifices and commitment, thus making the desire to achieve both a difficult one.

Commitment requires time dedication. Which implies spending less time on irrelevant activities, including social activities. This is where the problem lies. Most youth of this days desire to reap a bountiful harvest of the seed they never sowed. Only a handful understands the sacrifice and price to pay in other to qualify for such harvest.There are three major factors that poses as a distraction towards sowing of such seed. In other to overcome youthful exuberance, you ought to gain control over them.

However, before we go into details on some ways to overcome youthful exuberance, let’s talk about several Areas where youthful exuberance is mostly seen in youths.

Keeping Relationships

Everyone is in a relationship, everyone is mingled, so why shouldn’t I?  At a certain age, we all feel the urge and need to feel among especially as it concerns relationship.

Youthful age is also accompanied  with the desire to satisfy our emotional needs, owing to the high libido and sexual arousal felt at such sensitive age. Now the issue is not about keeping relationship. But the question is Are you ready for it? Are you psychologically fit to strike a  balance  between your relationship and goals as relationship can be so demanding and often comes with lots of responsibilities ? Or are you just overwhelmed by your emotional desires? This should be your major source of concern with such desires especially if you intend to overcome youthful exuberance.

Making money against all odds.

It is the desire of every youth to live large, feel relevant and respected in the society, and own up to their responsibilities at home( taking  proper care of their parents and younger ones)  such desires are not bad, but the way they intend to go about them matters s lot.

The pressure to become wealthy at all odds becomes intense as soon as they found out that their peers have become successful. Not minding their source of income, A lot will be curious to know, hence might be lured into illegal crimes and social vices.

Peer pressure.

At youthful stage, peer pressure becomes so intense as the rate of resistance is quite challenging among the youths.

Have you ever been in a situation of trying to perform a relevant activity either to study or perform some left over jobs at the office, yet you have your peers all persuading you to come over and club with them or watch football with them. It can be quite tempting especially if you’ve always been with them.



how to overcome youthful exuberance, three factors you ought to take note of. 

The first one is misplaced priority

This is a major determinant of our future. What we place our value on determines the fate of our future. Is quite unfortunate that a lot of youths today focus more on things which does not have a long term benefits. Building one social life is good, going out to have fun with friends is equally good. Keeping a relationship is good.

But when all these are done at the expense of a vital activity. It is called a misplaced priority. Most youth finds it difficult to differentiate between a want and a need.

For example, wants are temporal benefits which can be gotten from a pleasure. While needs are long term benefits which can be gotten from persistence hard work. A lot opt for want, and after gaining the momentarily pleasure, they end up living in regrets after realizing they’ve wasted a lot of time engaging in an unnecessarily activities.

A lot of people exert their youthful energy on things which are not of good benefits and when is time to harvest the fruit of their labor, they become expectant hoping to reap where they never sowed.
You will see a student spending more time on social media, betting shops, parties and so on. And when the time of exam comes, he expects miracle to happen.

A young guy who ought to be busy pursing his career and dream, but rather he spends his time pursuing women and visiting every clubs in town. After doing all this, they will assume a demonic force is after them. Without knowing they are architect of their predicament.
In other to overcome such youthful exuberance, Youths should be able to draw their scale of   preference in that way, they wouldn’t misplace their priority.



In other to overcome youthful exuberance, you must adopt the virtue of discipline. Discipline is an act of adopting self control in one’s life by forgoing some pleasures in the bid to achieve a target or a purpose. In the book ” Think big”. Dr Ben carson  emphasized on how he transformed from the once ” known dullard to the brightest student in his school. He narrated on how he often went out with his friends to play his favorite games after school and watch his favorite program on Television.

According to him then, Reading was such a burden. Till he harkened to his mother’s advise and began to master the art of reading. At first, it wasn’t easy, but with discipline he overcame.

To stop an addiction or habit common among youths, discipline is required. To ignore certain pleasures among youths, discipline must be adopted. It is only discipline that would make a student overcome the urge of sitting in front of a television or spending hours on social media when he/ she is meant to study.
It is only discipline that will enable a youth overcome promiscuous life style and social vices like pre marital sex, illicit drug abuse, prostitution. Discipline helps one overcome certain pleasures that overwhelms the youth.

Lack of discipline among the youth is the major cause of Procrastination. ( knowing what to do,but unwilling to take prompt action .

In summary, youthful exuberance is not entirely bad when youth focus Energy and vibrancy on more vital and positive activities than activities capable of ruining their lives and future. To overcome youthful exuberance and its negative outcome, every youths needs  to exert positive mindset.

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5 things Every singles should know


Every singles should know

There are several things every singles should know before considering spending their life time with that special one.

Life is made up of different phases/ stages, each stage each filled with its own good times and bad times, ups and down, challenging and victorious moments, expectations and disappointment. For example, As an infant, our expectations and needs are not really much other than being fed and taken care of by our parents/ wards.

As we grow up, our needs and desires begins to change and advance. As an  adolescent/ teenager, we feel the need of independence.

The need to be less restricted by our wards, even though that is almost impossible as they tend to protect and shield us so much against peer pressure, as a result of our vulnerability at such sensitive time and age.

From adolescent/ teenage age, we transform into a youthful stage where the need to be independent and achieve one’s dream is at its peak accompanied with youthful exuberance.

This is the stage where one begins to plan His/ her life as any decision made at this  point can either make or mar one.

There are two vital aspects every youths takes into consideration which has the tendency of determining the fate of their future. That is the achievement of dream and marital settlement. While the former may be accomplished by hard work and commitment.

The later doesn’t necessarily need hard work . but taking extreme precautions and ensuring you are prepared  psychologically, emotionally and economically . in other not to rush out soon. Hence the need to draft the topic. ” “what every singles should know”.  For one to achieve both aspects of dreams, there are certain knowledge that needs to be digested.

A lot of single men and women are seriously searching and anticipating for a life partner. But unfortunately, most ain’t prepared to handle the responsibilities that comes with it.  Deep down, they are overwhelmed by their age, and pressures from the society,friends and relatives. A lot often misinterpret such pressures and age factor as a sign of readiness. Hence their desire to settle down at all odds.

While others contradict the two terms ” marriage and dreams”. Some women have the mindset that one  can be used to substitute the other assuming both ain’t forth coming.  I’ve heard countless women conclude that if they couldn’t get a good paying job after graduating from school, they will endeavor to marry a rich man. According to their philosophy. ” they will definitely not loose out in both”.

A handful of others believes that getting a job and working towards accomplishing one’s dream is just for male genders. With such mindset, their philosophy and target in life is just to go to school, graduate and get hooked up with a rich fellow who would finally walk them down the  isle. This is a wrong mentality!!! Some others still believes that achieving one’s dream can be quite possible and easy at any stage, and hence they tend to relax while they are still single.

This is why every single should know certain things at some point in their life to avoid  making regrettable mistakes.and so what are those things?

5 things every singles should know. 

What every singles should know
What every singles should know


You are more advantaged now.

Every singles should know that they are more advantaged to accomplish their dream and be whoever they wish to be at this point than later. This is because marriage comes with a huge responsibility. When you marry,,is no longer about you, both your hubby and kids. There will be more house chores to do and kids to take care of.

All these may be accompanied with limited time. Haven’t you seen some men pleading or instructing their wives to resign from their job so as to take proper care of their homes?  Sometimes, such request may  be accompanied with a  compensation plan.Am not trying to say that is a good idea, neither am I portraying that one can’t handle both.

However, the message am trying to pass here is that while it  may be possible to  balance both, it may be quite difficult aand stressful.

This is  why one needs to be more dedicated and committed to his dreams now than later.  Your single hood should be a time of sowing seed. At this time, there is more enthusiasms and energetic spirit to spur on even when you might not be getting your desired result. While on the contrary, you will most likely to give up soon if you are married because of so many other responsibilities. Simply put, single hood is a time of sowing  whereas marriage is a time of harvesting. You plan in single hood, while you adjust in adult hood. Endeavour to utilize this stage to your advantage.

Marriage is a phase of  life.

Every youth should know that marriage is a phase of life and not a full accomplishment or achievement. Unfortunately, a lot of folks have this stereotyped view of marriage.

Some see it a substitute to their dreams. Hence they put their life on a pause mood while anticipating for it.

Marriage is great, but there is more to life other than marriage. You know why you feel so overwhelmed whenever the word ” marriage” is mentioned? It is solely because you haven’t been there. When we are inexperienced over something. We rate it extremely high and hold it in a high esteem. But once the experience begins, the worth and hype might diminish.

Marriage is not a bed of Roses.

Every singles should know that marriage is not a bed of roses. Some people believes that marriage is a moment of relaxation in one’s life.

Some women are anticipating for marriage with the sole reason of escaping the pressures at home, either from their siblings or parents. And so they assume that getting married will give them some kind of comfort  and solace they’ve always craved for. But unfortunately,marriage is not always as we presumed.

As hard as it sounds,We ought to prepare our minds for the worse, we have to prepare our minds for challenging and trying moments as well. Am not saying this to scare you. Certainly, there will be good times. However, be prepared in both ways as life is unpredictable. What matters is conquering at the end.

You can be  happy while single

Every singles should know that marriage does not and would never solve all their life problems. A lot of  people particularly women have lost  confidence   in themselves and resorted to   depression.  just because they feel age is no longer by their sides and  they haven’t gotten married.

The truth is, if you’ve not developed that self confidence in yourself, don’t ever assume that marriage will complement you. Love and cherish yourself first, hold yourself in high esteem, while waiting for the right person and the right time. While you are lamenting and sobbing that you haven’t gotten married. A lot of people are seriously undergoing emotional traumas in their marriage. Nothing guarantees complete happiness in life. You just have to find it within you and embrace it.

You can achieve whatever you wished to .

Every singles should know that success and achievement is a no respecter of age,social  status or family background. There ought to be no  excuse except the one you’ve admitted and chosen for yourself. You may not come from a wealthy background, but you alone can decide to change the status quo. Don’t live with it. Brace up, and make things happen. You are the positive change you’ve always anticipated.


Related external source: /7-things-every-single-person-know.













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How to discover your weak points in a relationship








Discovering your weak points in a relationship

What are your Weak points in a relationship? Do you know they can  ruin your  relationship, if not discovered and tackled with.

The first step towards solving any issues in life is to discover it, then admit is an issue. By admitting, you are creating room for an adjustment. You are creating the possibility of changing for better.

Some years back, I had this habit of talking back words whenever my mum was furious at me. She would yell, and so in the bid to defend my self and proof that I was right, I would try as much as possible to explain amidst of her yelling. Thus making the conversation/ argument to linger. At a time, I discovered that I wasn’t just doing it with my mum, but with every other persons including my peers. I hate maintaining my silence whenever am misunderstood, I would rather engage in argument in the bid to secure my Ego.

I often argue till the person am arguing with becomes tired and gives up.I never knew that was a weak point, that was why I never bothered to work on it. Between, my mother had cautioned me severally to work on it, else I might have my marriage shattered in the future.

Having read some true stories of some married folks who had their marriage ruined via  constant argument. I then admitted  that it was a huge weak point. Which prompted me to begin to work towards it.

A lot of folks don’t realized that some attitudes are weak points in a relationship. Hence,they assume is an inherent trait and so they feel reluctant working towards it.

Here is a brief story as narrated by  a friend who once sought for an advise.

I have been in several relationships in the past. yet none lasted despite all my efforts and commitment .  It will literally end as soon as I begin to adjust and reciprocate their love. I love attention a lot. So I don’t usually hesitate to call the attention of my lover towards it once am not getting enough of it.

However, I have discovered that anytime I do that, they will begin to withdraw, and before I say jerk, the relationship becomes a history. I wondered why my relationship rarely lasts. ” she complained bitterly”.

After narrating her story, I was able to deduce one factor. And that is the fact that she has a weak point which she never knew existed. What was her weak points? Insecurities and nagging.

Demanding for attention on its own is not entirely wrong. But the way and manner in which she often goes about it is the problem. Thus leading to the consistent heartbreak she often get. After given her a piece of advise, she began to work towards it and now her current relationship has lasted more than she can imagine.


Many a times, we have weak points in a relationship, which we are ignorant of. We assume we are exhibiting the best of character without knowing that we are wrong. At the end of every relationship, both the dumper and the dumpee  plays the victim roles. Everyone claims to have treated the other well without receiving a reciprocation. But unknowingly to us, there are behaviours which our partner might have found offensive which led to the end of the relationship.

Having a weak point is a normal trait in human. But is one thing to have a weak point, and another to discover it. So how can we discover our weak points in relationship?how can you -diagnose-your-relationship-weak-point?

Discovering your weak points in a relationship
Discovering your weak points in a relationship.


How to discover your weak points in a relationship.

Be a good listener.

In other to discover your weak points in a relationship, you have to be a good listener. Listen more and talk less.

A lot of of us have this trait of assuming that we are right all the time. This trait prevents us from seeing our weak points. Being a good listener helps us to improve in our individual lives. When having a misunderstanding with your spouse/ partner.

Allow him/ her to make his/ her own opinion before doing yours. Perhaps, there might be a flaws  that really needs an adjustment. Listening helps you both to discover these flaws and make an adjustment.

Effective communication

One of the major components of a healthy relationship is communication.

A times, we might be exhibiting a trait which seems right for us, but not for the other person.  Hence the saying. ” one man’s food is another man’s poison.

And you know in relationship, is not just about you. You are equally putting the other party into consideration.

One of the ways to discover your weak points in a relationship is by effective communication.

Unfortunately, most couples resort to giving each other the silent treatment than have a dialogue to resolve their issues amicably.

Discovering your weak points  in a relationship entails having a heart to heart conversation with your partner from time to time. Apparently, there are some characters you exhibit  he/ she doesn’t like and vice versa. If you don’t communicate, you might  not observe it.

Seek for counseling. 

Don’t always assume that everything you do is right, sometimes seek for other people’s counsel.

Your normal habits or attitude might be someone else turn off. You might not recognize this till you open up to others about it just like the story we began with.

There are several offline and online relationship platforms where you can read other people’s experience and learn more.

Never  hesitate in doing that once in a while. Sometimes, you can as well go for counselling from an experience relationship/ marriage counselor.

Just endeavour to  make yourself available for continuous learning. Let other people access you especially when you are having issues in your relationship which might be as a result of your weak points.





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5 Top secrets that hurts a relationship, Avoid them.

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

There are top secrets that hurts a relationship despite the bond and emotional attachment between both couples. Secrets can be  Toxic to a relationship as it is the leading cause of insecurity and lack of trust.

Keeping secrets is like keeping someone in the cloud and leaving them in suspense.  Such can be devastating and tormenting as it eludes peace and security.

Imagine sharing an apartment with someone who wouldn’t give you any slightest clue of their next action or what they intend to do for the day. Whereas, you open up to them before taking any decision. It feels like you are being cheated and exploited.

Most folks often share their top secrets to people they trust and confide in. Secrets are confidential, we might not share it with everyone.but  We all have that friend we love to confide in.

They could be just a casual friend, but the most important thing is that we trust them and that’s why we feel safe making some personal matters open  to them. If one can confidently share a secret to a casual friend, why would they hesitate doing that with their partner to whom they had professed their undying love for and had probably pledged to spend the rest of their lives  with.

Honestly, this is why must relationship rarely last. Right After the honey moon phase, some relationship Spark wanes off. Because both partner harbor a lot of secrets. They have a lot of skeletons on their cupboards. And these skeletons might turn out  to haunt them in the future  and become a stumbling block towards the growth of the relationship.

Keeping Top secrets that hurts  a relationship is the major reason why most couples  are not emotionally connected with each other.

They are just like sex mates needed to curb and erase sexual urges. And as soon as that aim is achieved, the relationship goes back to its bored nature. It is so disheartening that two unmarried folks in a relationship can boldly  have access to each other’s body. They see nothing wrong with that. But they see everything wrong with accessing one another phone.

They see nothing wrong with accessing the private parts at will, But they see everything wrong with taking each other’s calls when the other party is not accessible to his/ her phone.

There is no password to each other’s body, but there is a password to their mobile phones and social media accounts.

Most people are afraid of break up or divorce, they are scared that after revealing the truth, the relationship might discontinue. But how long do you intend to hide the truth? The truth can never be hidden forever. And you know the worse scenario.

Having your partner/ spouse discover the truth some where down the line  or hearing about it from a third party is going to be more disastrous  than summoning courage to let the cat out of the bag. They will feel betrayed and hurt, and thus may loose their trust in you forever.

The reason for their betrayal wouldn’t be as a result of your past offense . But concealing the truth from them. Honesty and transparency is still the best in every relationship. Let’s look at some top secrets that hurts a  relationship. What are the -secrets-you-should-never-keep-from-your-spouse or partner?

Top secrets that hurts a relationship.

Having a child out of wedlock.

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

Imagine waking up one day only to be told that the woman whom you practically referred to as your ” mother” and  who nurtured you from your infants till your adult stage is not your biological mother. How would you feel on hearing such news . Shocked? Betrayed?  Hurt?  This is the exact scenario here. A lot of single mothers are scared of the rejection and stigmatization that might occur once they make their status known to their intending partner.

Hence they opt to conceal the secret in other to get their potential partner to walk down the isle with them. This kind of decision and attitude can be so risky and disastrous and will likely terminate their relationship if their partner eventually discovers the truth.

How long do you intend hiding such truth from him? You know the popular saying. Nothing is hidden under the soon. Don’t equally forget the fact that the walls have ears. One day they will certainly find out, and trust me, the rejection you will feel thereafter might be greater than the one you anticipated if you were honest with them. Why not open up to them.

If they truly loved you, they will certainly stay. Opening up will help you to be certain of their true intentions and love towards you.

Your source of livelihood

Top secrets that hurts a relationship

This is one Top secrets that hurts a relationship and equally destroys its foundation.

A lot of men are scared of rejection after wooing a lady. So in the bid to boost their Ego and impress their partner, they will claim a status which they are actually not. Now when the lady adjusts with such status quo and then eventually discovers the truth,she might withdraw, thus  upsetting them  and making them assume that  she does not love them, But their money.

But the truth is that they brought it upon themselves by beginning the foundation of their relationship with lies. You can’t just wake up one morning and tell someone you are just a brick layer when they’ve believed and presumed you to be a medical doctor or barrister.

Such truth can never be easily  digested, despite the love and affection. Lies and deceit destroys the foundation of every relationship.

Hiding your financial status, earnings and source of livelihood from your intending partner is a sign of Inferiority complex. You ought to be proud of who you are and what you do for a living. After all, you work for it  and pay your bills without depending on anyone.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your profession or career as long as it puts food on your table and pays your bill.

You only need one who truly loves you for who you are and not what you are. So there is really no point lieing over such. This is why you must avoid a materialistic woman.


Chronic illness

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

This is another top Secrets that hurts a relationship terribly. Concealing a health status from an intending partner for fear of stigmatization and rejection. And then what happens if they eventually finds out?

Do you think such Union will ever last? You need to be transparent over such sensitive issue as this is the best way to ascertain the one who truly loves you and ready to stick by you through thick and thin.

Relationships are all about sacrifices . you don’t need to conceal a sickness. Rather, they should be able to proof their love practically by helping you overcome such challenging moments.


Sexual escapades

Top secrets that hurts a relationship

You don’t necessarily have to reveal the number of sexual escapade you had in the past.

It doesn’t matter. However, you should not lie to your partner that you are celibate when you are appararently not. A lot of women lied about their virginity status, and when the truth was later unraveled on their wedding night, that marked the beginning of their marital issues.

You really don’t need to lie about things as such as it wouldn’t guarantee the success of your marriage. Your partner is getting married to you and not your virginity status. So there is no point being deceitful over it.


Sexual Abuse or harassment.

Are you currently being abused or harassed by someone you trusted so much?

Concealing such from your partner is a top secrets that hurts a relationship. It can ruin your relationship especially when they finds out,  They will assume you are enjoying the approach you are getting.

And what about having your harassers trying to blackmail you, and turning the truth to their own favour? Why not save your self stress by opening up to your partner .







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4 Top entrepreneur challenges and how to overcome.




Entrepreneur challenges
Overcoming entrepreneur challenges


Entrepreneur  challenges are derailing factors affecting a lot of folks who aspires to be an entrepreneur. They pose as obstacles opposing the dreams of many youths in becoming whom they desire to be.

We are in a generation and age where entrepreneurship seems to be taking the lead as securing an employment and sustaining an already existing job seems elusive.

A lot of youths are  are beginning to embrace entrepreneurship as a major or alternative source of income as the labor  market is quite competitive. In the book, “the-business-of-the-21st-century-by-robert-kiyosaki-

The author emphasized on the two categories of individuals and their different perceptive towards achieving financial independence. ” The  Rich Dad and the poor Dad.  While the former believes in creating a job, the later believes in searching for a job. According to Robert kiyosaki.  The poor Dad’s slogan was ” go to school, get good grades, graduate and get a job. Unfortunately, a lot of youths became so stuck with such mentality. Till Reality began to struck  on them on Realizing that the labor market has become saturated. With people being unemployed or underemployed, while many others are loosing their jobs especially in this covid 19 where there is economic inflation and the standard of living depreciating.

Entrepreneurship is becoming so versatile, broad  and highly recognized. And the good news is, while job opportunity or labor  market can be saturated, Entrepreneurship can never be saturated because ideas are invented on regular basis.

Creativity does not only  varies as insights and inspiration emerges. Unlike employment,Creativity is so broad that it can accommodate  any individual willing  to  give it a trial irrespective of his/ her academic qualification, social class or family background.  This is why entrepreneurship has come to stay. However, in order to become a  a successful entreprenuer. , one has to develop Entrepreneurship skills. A lot already have these skills. But the problem is how to overcome some challenges associated with entrepreneurship.

There are entrepreneur  challenges that might surface  in your journey towards achieving your financial freedom. These challenges tends to become a stumbling block towards your vision. If not carefully tackled, may derail it.

Overcoming entrepreneur challenges
entrepreneur challenges


Let’s look at some of these challenges.

Top entrepreneur challenges and how to overcome it. 

Sufficient capital.

Property, land, furniture, resource and capital are all assets and very vital to human.

However, the last which is capital seems to be more vital and  highly sought amongst others as it breeds the rest. For example, one can’ t acquire  a property, land, furniture or resources without a capital.

Thus making capital to be one of the top considerations towards achieving financial freedom via Entrepreneurship.

Unfortunately, this is one of the top entrepreneur  challenges a lot of folks have. There are ideas but lack of capital or insufficient capital to execute it.

Hence some may resort to giving up on their entrepreneurship ideas as a result of this.

The major problem here is  usually the mindset a lot have towards entrepreneurship. Some people presume that one has to have millions or billions in their account before they can commence their business.  They neglect the laws of little beginning. They forgot that many great people and legends started off small. Many big firms and enterprise started off as a small retailer shop. Many CEO’s in reputable firm and organizations were once an employer.  If only we could embrace little beginnings and the important of starting small. We would excel.

Waiting for sufficient capital will always lead to  Procrastination .   Delay might be dangerous. Start off little, with persistence and determination, you will always attain your desired height and target.


Ability to be consistent is another top entrepreneur challenges  facing a lot of youth who aspires to achieve financial freedom. Youthful age comes with exuberance accompanied with high drive and strong passion to succeed.

A lot are willing to work hard  and pay the sacrifices, but only a handful are willing to wait patiently and remain  consistent till the hardworking begins to pay. A lot of youths desires to have everything at their beck and call  instantaneously.

Hence the reason why many indulge in social vices just to meet up with their targets. A lot had given up on their dreams as soon as they discovered that results and productivity are taking longer than expected.

As an entrepreneur or aspirants of one, one of the inevitable challenge you will certainly face is delay in productivity or outcome. Not every business or skills will  succeed instantly. Some will have to take an ample of time requiring you to be patient and preserve. And all you need at that period is consistency.

Knowing the right career or skills to choose.

A lot of people have the passion to succeed. A lot of people have the zeal to become their own boss. But the major challenge is their ignorance on the career path, business, or skills to focus on.

They have no foresight on the exact path to take. Their mind and body is willing to work, but their intellect is weak. Such people do not have a specific plan. They can venture into a business just because everyone around them is doing such business and once is not working, they give up immediately.

They are always skeptical in the choice of skills to choose. They heard that  being a music artist is the trend. They delve in, With the intention of making money and fame in few months. They give up within  few month if their intention wasn’t fulfilled. In other to solve this entrepreneur challenges,  Every aspiring entrepreneur should know this. In choosing a career path or field  of business/ skills. There are three major point to take into consideration.


The first thing to consider especially when choosing a skill is passion.   passion enhances career.What are you passionate about? Passion induces interest and interest drives motivation. When you are passionate about a skill, you will likely give in your best to ensure it works.

Most times, people fail in a particular thing  not because they are incompetent, but because they didn’t develop interest to succeed. Your passion could be your talent. Once you’ve realized it, develop interest in it, love it and cherish it like is all you’ve gat. The passion is what will hold you firm and spur you to remain consistent even when result ain’t forthcoming yet.

Your area of expertise-

In choosing the right skills, Always consider your area of expertise and not what is on trend.

You really don’t have to be a pro in it. Neither do you have to be perfect. Knowledge can always be developed.

Learning is a continuous process. All you need to do is to keep acquiring more knowledge and keep developing yourself. As  a good web designer, don’t loose your focus or opt into music just because you hear that music pays a lot. Especially when you don’t have the needed skills for it. Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well. No skills or talent supersedes others. Just be the best in your chosen field.

Even if it seems as though people are not succeeding in it. Break the status quo by searching outside the box. Strive to do something different from what every other person is doing so you can always achieve a different result and be at the top of the game.


This is another entrepreneur challenges that needs to be tackled. There is a popular  adage. ” Time is money”. Which implies that the value money possess can also be equated with time.

In other words, the amount of time you invest or waste is directly proportional to the amount of profit or loss you will encounter over a given period of time.


Time management.

Time is infinite, it can’t be induced or manipulated. We can only learn how to adjust and make it fit in to our daily routine and schedules in other to meet up with our daily targets.

A lot of Aspiring entrepreneur often use time as an excuse for not achieving their dreams and target.  It is not really about having sufficient time, but utilizing it well.

There are people who spend not more than 2 hours a day, working on their dream, yet achieving tremendous result. If you don’t know how to manage your time appropriately . Even if you are given 24 hours free time. You will be amazed that you ended up wasting it without achieving anything tangible.

Tackling this Entrepreneur challenges associated with time entails knowing what to do and at the right time to do it.

Curbing  or discarding. any irrelevant activities which might pose as a distraction thereby wasting your time.

Spending your time in activities that are worthwhile.










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How can i feel secure in a relationship?

Feeling secure in a relationship

Feeling secure in a relationship is the desire of every individual willing to be in a a healthy relationship.

Security is not an option, it is a necessity of life that cannot be negotiated by any factor including wealth.  No wonder most wealthy and influential people spends a lot to ensure their safety is guaranteed.

Similarly in relationship. Security is a necessity. When you don’t feel secured, unhappiness, doubts and lack of trust becomes inevitable, irrespective of  every other luxury or comfort associated in such relationship.

You won’t really understand the importance of feeling secure in a relationship till you find yourself  getting unnecessarily paranoid and always checking your partner’s call log at every intervals in other to ascertain who they called or chatted last.  Such habit can be quite stressful to the one exhibiting them. It is capable of  eluding  one’s  peace and esteem.

Before proffering solution to certain problems, we first have to find out the origin and cause of such problem. Insecurity  is not inherent, it is not an inborn trait, so why do people feel insecure?

Why people often feel insecure in a relationship.

Anticipatory Anxiety

just like the name implies. It is a worry emerging from self imposed fears and imaginary uncertainty .

People who have anticipatory anxiety sometimes worry for no specific reason. Some could be as a result of the experience they had in the past. Thus allowing it to interfere with their present. Anticipatory Anxiety is usually termed as fear of the “unknown”. It is borne out of assumption rather than Reality.  the victim usually develops phobia even there is no specific reason.

Such anxiety has derailed and caused havoc in lots of relationships/ marriage.  A woman once came seeking for advise on how to fix her marriage.

The bone of contention was her  insecurity. She accused her husband of Infidelity,  and even went as far as  fighting an innocent woman to whom she presumed he has committed the act with. When she later found out that she was just a colleague with no strings attached, A lot had happened. She had unconsciously destroyed the good reputation  of her husband and the trust in her marriage.

That was the result of Anticipatory anxiety and being so quick to take an action without any prior evidence.

Such acts denotes lack of trust. It implies that she never trusted her hubby after several years of marriage. The embarrassment and bad reputation she brought upon him might be irreversible or may take several months or perhaps years to erase. Hence, the reason why he finds it difficult to forgive and forget.

Low esteem

Low esteem can lead to several negative traits including not having a secure feelings in a relationship.

inferiority complex can ignite fear in all ramifications. People with low esteem often assume they ain’t competent enough. They usually develop phobia and get unnecessarily paranoid whenever they see their partner with the opposite sex. They see everyone around their partner as a rival. Such people can be characterized by their  nagging, neediness and desperation. They always seek for attention and reaffirmation of love.

Family history

Family history is another major reason why some people feel insecure in a relationship.

People who are victims of separation by both parents might grow up having the mindset that all male or female specie are a replica of their parents. They will grow to imagine that such experience will reoccur in their own relationship or marriage. Hence the phobia and insecurities.

With such experience, it is apparently hard to convince them that you are different,  except they’ve made the decision to give you a  benefit of doubt and also believe that the relationship will work out.

Having known some of the reasons of insecurity. How then can we feel secure in a relationship or What can we do to stop-feeling-insecure in a relationship?

steps on how to feel secure in a relationship. 

Feeling secure in a relationship
How to feel secure in a relationship


Get rid of the past and embrace the future.

We talked about Anticipatory anxiety as one of the major cause of insecure feelings in a relationship. We went further to emphasize that Anticipatory anxiety can emerge as a result of the ugly experience people had in the past. Thus changing their mindset and orientation towards relationship.

They now see their partner as a future threat. Such mindset can be curbed only if we realize that there are billions of human existing in this world. And our ex just constitute one out of that billion.

An experience shouldn’t change your perception about relationship. Stop having negative thoughts.


Develop self confidence and esteem

People with self confidence  and high esteem  rarely get paranoid over certain things in life including relationship.

Having self confidence ought to be  a necessity in everyone’s life, as it helps you get hold of yourself at  certain points in life.  Have you ever paused to ask yourself  Why am i too emotional and sensitive?

Perhaps that could be the reason for your insecure feeling if that is the case, then you need self confidence. Hold yourself in high esteem that relationship will be the least of your problem. Get yourself busy with your passionate hobbies. It will help you feel calm and relaxed rather than nag unnecessarily or assume a scenario which does not exist.

Give your relationship time.

It might be too early to draw conclusions, it might be too early to panic.

However your family history was,  Don’t be in a haste to assume that your relationship or marriage might end up like that of your parents. It takes time to build friendship, it takes time to nurture each other, it takes time to understand and tolerate one another.

Your partner is a human. Sometimes, they will step on your toes or do things that will get you furious. Such  annoying behavior will certainly be coming up from time to time. They are inevitable.

However, what will hold your relationship firm at such time is understanding. If you are not patient enough, you might give in to insecure feelings. Which might end your relationship in the long run.