Should engaged couples cohabit? Is there anything wrong with your fiancee/fiance since you both are already making plans toward sealing your nuptial vow soon?Should I move in with my fiancee?
Co-habitation is one of the controversial topic in relationships and dating.
A lot of people believes that cohabiting with a partner you are set to get married to is one of the best way to ascertain their character and be certain they are in line with yours. Their personality, character, temperaments, compatibility level, etc. While to others, it is wrong and might seem like a taboo.
I’ve equally heard some ladies complain on how their relationship of so many years came to an end simply because they refused to move in with their fiancee when their bride price is yet to be paid because their moral and religious view is against such act. While some others complain of being deprived of the right to move in with their fiancee, so it is different strokes for different folks. Hence the controversy.
Why do people cohabit? Let us look at some various reasons engaged couples cohabit in a relationship.
It has become a norm in the society.
Cohabitation had become so prevalent in our society today that it now seems like a norm. It is not just seen among engaged couples but also among students, teenagers and lovers in a long term relationship. It is not a surprise to hear that most students are living with their lovers as room mates.
It is not a surprise to know that there are lovers who are already assuming couple’s role even while still single. These all sums up the reason why some engaged couples cohabit .they assume they have come to the stage where cohabitation Feels normal and OK, after all some folks in an undefined relationship does it, how much more folks who are already making plans towards settling down.
Desperation to get married is the reason why most engaged couples cohabit, including non engaged couples.
Most people had waited for proposal for a very longtime, and so when they discovered that it wasn’t forth coming, they decided to take the bulls by the horns by moving in to see if it will spur their partner’s interest to propose.
On the contrary, there are others who had been engaged for a very long time, yet making the union officials seems to be taking longer than they expected, that they were beginning to loose hope and began to question the authenticity of the proposal. So they assume that by moving in, the marriage processes will be quickened.
Insecurity and Fear of loosing a partner.
Some folks can’t bear the sight of seeing their partner with a member of the opposite. Even in the absence of emotional attachment, they still feel a high sense of insecurity that their partner might be cheating on them. So they assume that by moving in, they have finally secured their place in his hearts .
To study a partner
This forms the major reasons why most engaged couples cohabit. The fear of getting into a life time union with someone you barely know and the assumption that living with them for sometime will help you know everything you ought to know about them. Before finally making your decision to either quit the relationship or go ahead with the marital rights.
Now let’s get into our main topic of discussion. Do you think is right for engaged couples cohabit? What are the possible effects of cohabitation during engagements.
Should engaged couples cohabit? What are the possible effects of cohabitation.
Having known the several reasons why most couples cohabit, it will be much easier to analyze and compare some of the pons and cons associated with cohabitation.
And know which actually outweighs the other. As we know that most people cohabit because it is a norm in the society so they feel is the right thing to do since a lot of people are doing that . nevertheless, they seems to forget the fact that what works for A might not work for B” . there is no guarantee that moving in with your partner will secure your place in his heart or lead to marriage. If he has no intention of getting married to you in the first place, moving in with him won’ t change any fact. It may only work out if the interest and desire is present.
Cohabitation can Lead to loss of Respect.
Familiarity they say breeds contempt. People value and respects what ain’t always available than that which is easily available.
A similar illustration is this, when you were much younger, did you observe that you accord more respect to other older adults than your older siblings. This is Because you see them everyday, every minute and second. You fight, argue, quarrel on regular basis. So you may no longer hold them in a high esteem. But as soon as they move out of the apartment to a new apartment. You will accord them much respect whenever they visits. This is a natural occurrence. Same scenario applies to relationship. Most relationship looses its respects and turns soar as soon as both begins to live with each other in the same apartment.
Loss of spark and interest in the relationship
There is an arousal that usually comes when you meet people whom you haven’t met for a very long time. But when you have them everyday, the spark might vanish.
There are few exceptions to this though. There are couples who had grown stronger bonds that nothing can separate them, not even cohabitation. However, you might be dealing with a partner who looses interest as soon as they begin to see you everyday. Hence the need to keep your presence moderate.
Delay in performing marriage rights
Most ladies at a marriageable age moves in to live with a man out of desperation and pressure to get married. Hoping that as soon as
they begins to cohabit with him, he might begin the marriage rights. But unfortunately, reverse is usually the case in some scenario. With such act, most men might no longer see the need to quicken the marriage right and make things official because they assume you are already performing a wife’s duty while still single, A man who had the intention of getting married with do that without hesitation. You don’t need to cohabit with him in other to spur his interest.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. There are times when challenges will surface. There will definitely be a lots of up’s and down. Moments of arguments, differences, fights, quarrel, but amides of all this trials, what keeps most couples going is the marital vows they made to stick to each other through thick and thin. This is what spurs their rate of tolerance and understanding for each other. Unlike singles, who feels no entitlement to stick with their partner or tolerate each other when challenges surfaces. Living together without getting married can lead to intolerant and finally separation especially when there are severe fights and misunderstanding. Because one or both partners will feel they have nothing to loose.