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why you must seek for closure 1

They are happy together because they sought for closure .

Seeking for closure is the first priority and concern for any individual who hopes for having a serious and committed relationship. Closure is like warranty, imagine buying a new mobile, vehicle or any other electronic gadjects without a warranty.

You are ignorant of its durability and quality. You don’t even know what to expect. In case it stops malfunctioning. There is no guarantee that is gonna last. The feelings is like a child kept in an isolated place with no clue as to when his/her mother would return.
Closure is very vital in any relationship. Its vitality can be enumerated thus.

Boosts your confidence

the assurance that your partner feels the same way would help to boost the confidence in you. And erase all forms of doubt concerning the relationship.

Makes you secured

most atimes, insecurity in relationship occurs as a result of uncertainty. There is so much doubt in you. You can’t ascertain the fate of the relationship because there was no closure from your partner. They kept you in the dark while going about their business. They don’t care about your feelings neither do they care if you are hurt because there was no form of closure.

You would know when to move on:

Seeking for closure enables you to determine the fate of the relationship so as to know if you are to continue or give up. so you wouldn’t continue wasting your time in an unproductive affair.


Triggers commitment:

When there is assurance or certainty that a relationship would succeed or move Or move to the next level. It makes you become more committed. You will see the relationship more like a future union. Rather than a temporal strings. it gives you an assurance especially when there has been an effort to ensure that the relationship scales through. It would help activate your optimism.

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How to adopt the right attitude towards success.

Success is a choice, and not a wish!!!
Everyone wishes to be great in life, but only few has made that choice, taken that decision and ready to do whatever it takes to get there as long as it is genuine and legal.

Dreaming big is a path towards success, but working hard gets you that destination.

Set your plans

Before the owner of a building begins its foundation, he first commences by setting out his plans, his choice of design, and budget.

However, having the right choice of design, and plans won't make him accomplish his dreams of setting up a building . no matter how great his ambitions and dreams were.
They are not just sufficient enough. What makes the dreams becomes accomplished is the determination and effort towards getting it done.
If he doesn't have any plans of getting the income required, then his dreams becomes a waste.

Take Actions

The same scenario applies in life,
Dreams prepares you for your future, but your effort and hardwork takes you there.
Wishes gets you focused, but your effort in turning that wish to a reality makes it fulfilled.

A life with just a dream can easily be blown off when trials and tribulations sets in...but when accompanied with determination, persistence and hardworking, it stands firm and Unshakeable despite the stormy weather. Life is not a bed of roses, there are so many forces trying to pull you down, so many disruptions trying to get hold of you, so many circumstances trying to distract you. but you can only overcome by realizing the fact that you have the key towards your success. you have the right to determine what goes on in your life. no one can pull you down except you.

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How to get hold of your weakness. 1


girl rejoicing as she was able to keep her weak point kept at check

Why can’t I get hold of my weakness??
Why can’t I be in control over my life???
Why can’t I put a stop to this habit which has completely taken a toll over my life.

Things I never want to do or have vowed to put a stop to, I still find my self deliberately or in deliberately doing them.

These and many more are some questions and worries a lot of individual are battling so hard to answer.

Addiction is not just a habit, but a constant habit capable of enslaving an individual. It has sank deep into a lot if people’s system, making them vulnerable to all sort of unwanted habit and thus overpowering their emotions and self will.

However, just like every other weakness, Addiction could also be controlled and gotten rid of. if tackled with the right measures. And one of such measures isyou can’t possibly solve a problem without first accepting the fact that there is a problem. You first have to admit that you are addicted to a habit. It shows your willingness and readiness to put a stop to to it.

Discovering the root course :

as you have admitted your weakness, another step that will enable you put a stop to it is to look out for and pay keen attention to what constantly leads to it. It could be the place you normally visit, people you often visit, friends, books or movirles you watch and s lots more.


As you’ve discovered the root cause of your addiction. The next step is looking out for ways and factors that will enable you to stop it. And thus is where discipline plays a major role. Discipline is very important in all aspects of out of life. A lot of addictions sometimes could be associated with lack of discipline.

Discipline entails restricting or denying your self with some desires which might be pleasant to you but does not have any positive impact on your life. For instance,

If you are addicted to sex, you have to discipline your self enough by putting a restraint to movies you watch, books you read.

If you are addicted to Alcohol, you have to put a restraint to friends you keep, and places you visit.

Do not give up. It is quite possible.

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Getting rid of Abusive relationship

Woman experiencing heart break in her relationship

Are you in an abusive relationship?perhaps, you are being taken for granted. You value your partner so much, you can walk a mile for them, but unfortunately, they can’t take a step for you. You put all your effort to ensure the relationship works, but they do nothing about it because they probably ain’t into you. You feel depressed and wished they could see through your heart to understand how you feel for them. And reciprocate thereafter.

What to do

If you are experiencing such scenario. Then I would advise you to calm down, take a deep breath and listen to what I have to say now.

You haven’t done anything wrong by falling in love.
You haven’t done anything wrong by choosing to stick to them amidst pressures from others who would have been glad having you as their date.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong by being loyal to them.

what then is the problem?

However, your major mistake was not realizing the fact that relationship cannot thrive well without the effort of both partners.

A heart needs to express love, and another heart needs to receive it, appreciate and reciprocate afterwords.

You deserved to be loved.
You deserved to be given a prefential treatment.

Don’t force if it ain’t happening. Love is natural, it is neither manipulated nor pushed. If your partner ain’t treating you well, walk away. Easy right? Hell no!!! But that’s the best decision ever. There is always someone meant for you, there is someone who deserves you. You can only get to meet them when you disentangle your self from the wrong relationships. Always be yourself, do not compromise your standard all because you want to please someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.

Don’t settle for less.

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Co-habitation in a relationship

Am confused, I’ve always heard people say that cohabiting with your partner is wrong and brings about disrespect and loss of value. But I have a friend who oco -habited with her boyfriend for more than 2yrs and now they are happily married…I’ve seen a lot of women who had sex on their first date and yet ended up with their spouse….does having sex on the first date actually makes a woman appear cheap or loose her dignity and value as claimed????

I know a lot of ladies who got deflowered by the one they love but yet weren’t dumped as supposed….but Instead it increased the rate of commitment from their significant order as they were being loved and cherished. afterwards. Is there really anything wrong with giving your virginity to the one you love before marriage??

These are the questions that subject some many ladies into a state of dilemma each time they ponder on it… many have ruined their life and future trying to imitate other people’s life style. So many have ignorantly fallen prey in the wrong hands because they were misinformed or generally made to believe that relationships have a set of rules or was meant to work in a certain way…..Just like every other aspect of life. Do not let the decision of others influence you. That it worked for your friend is no guarantee that it w”ll definitely work for you. The scenario is just like choosing soccer as a career and being optimistic that you will succeed simply because your friend does the same..and succeeded. even when you are certain that football is not your choice of career.Do what you feel is right or may work perfectly for you. So you can easily accept any result or psychological trauma aassociated with it…. Nothing brings about self blames and constant regrets than imitating other people’s life style and unfortunately, not having it turn out to your favour. Just like you expected.


Chinenye NnamaniV

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Infidelity in relationships, How to avoid it 1.

Man with Lover Caught by his Wife

One of the common challenges that people often face in a relationship is the ability to avoid double dates.

To some folks, it is just an impossible task, hence they tend to justify it with the quote “All men are polygamous in nature.

Double dating is so common this days among both genders, because of the quest to taste different varieties. Humans are insatiable in nature, and this insatiability extends to every aspects of our life. This explains the reason why a man with a beautiful wife would still go ahead to cheat with other women despite having a wife with adorable qualities. This explains the reason why a woman who have an adorable man that provides all her needs, but yet goes ahead to cheat with other men.

However, irrespective, of the prevalence of infidelity in our society today, there are still people practicing monogamy. It is quite possible… And can be achieved by adopting the following measures. –


the importance of discipline in our lives cannot be over emphasized. Discipline breeds self control. Without discipline, we may end up satisfying our material quest at the expense of our future. As a married man, it may not be easy to keep your eyes off that your secretary that dresses seductively to office everyday if you lack self control and discipline.


contentment brings about self fulfillment. But lack of contentment leads to unnecessary quest. Contentment makes you realize that your

Partner or spouse may not have the best of qualities, shape or stature, but learning to love and cherish them the way they are without having to double date.

Apply cautiousness

prevention they say is better than cure, it is better to prevent any situation which may likely lead to infidelity. If any man or woman of the opposite sex starts getting unusually close to you, be careful and watch it, else you may succumb. It could be your colleague in your office, business partner or even neighbour. Set limits and boundaries with any friend of the opposite sex. Avoid any situation that may increase your chances of cheating on your spouse.

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Insecurity In relationship 1.

Insecure couples

insecurity has caused more good than harm in a lot of relationships/ marriages today. It has contributed to the increasing rate of heartbreak and divorce….the fear of the unknown, the fear of what may not be certain and " mere speculations and assumption.

Now the question is how do we curb this Negative trait. Let's look out some factors contributing to this.

Inferiority complex

individuals with low esteem tends to develop some phobic in most aspect of their lives…they always feel neglected and less appreciated. They have this mindset that they might not be too good for their partner and thus often nag, interrogate, and assume they are being cheated on. This trait makes them become too needy, pushy and emotional stable.

Lack of Trust

Trust is like a glass ware. Once broken it can no longer be fixed to its initial state. When there had been a previous issue of infidelity. From one or both partners. It ignites an insecure feelings to the affected partner that he/ she may find it difficult to trust the other party. And this leads to constant assumptions over what may not be the fact. Trust is earned and once lost, might lead to insecurity.

Unresolved issues

misunderstandings are inevitable part of a healthy relationships, however. When they are allowed to linger on for a long period of time and not resolved abruptly. It may lead to insecurity. Because there will always be a recall or reminiscence of the past memories one or both parties are usually scared of the same occurrence resurfacing in subsequent occasions.

In summary, insecurity can be easily gotten rid off. If partners learns to understand and tolerate each other on every aspect. Resolve every issues within themselves without any interference of third party. And also avoid other aforementioned factors which seems to be the leading course of insecurity.

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Time management Tips 1.

Time management is one of the greatest attribute of champions and people who aspires to be successful in life.
An Average human is said to be busy for at least 12hrs in a day,but yet unproductive in his/her endeavour as a result of mismanagement
of time. the word ''busy' is the most frequently used word and has equally been misused by many who had no clear understanding of what it actually meant.
Literally, 'busy'' can be defined as a state in which an individual engages him/herself in any activity or work. it is an exact opposite of idleness. which implies that not being idle at a particular time indicates that an individual is actually busy. sleeping eating and engaging in other normal activities ain't an exception.

Now The Question is no longer how busy one is?but what you are actually found busy with?

I've seen some folks who hardly take a nap,and hence usually develops one alignments or the other as a result of inability to rest but yet can't boast of any achievement. while there are few others who spend less time but yet achieves a lot. it has to do with ability to manage one's time,being able to accomplish a lot within a specific limited time.

Here are some factors that will enable you utilize your time wisely.


there is a popular saying he who has failed to plan,is said to have planned to fail. each successful day ought to begin with a strategic plan or list of activities which must be adhered strictly to. try as much as possible to adjust your schedules in such a way that it will correspond with the time available. you can commence by starting from the most important to the least important. which automatically leaves you with the feelings of excitement and fulfillment.

Setting target:

setting a target is one of the surest ways of overcoming laziness and procrastination. make up your mind and do everything within your reach to meet up with your target within a specific period of time see it as a task being imposed on you by another,assume it was an instruction or obligation being issued to you by an employer else you loose a job. developing that mindset gives you an insight and ability to accomplish your target.

time is an essential factor,always be time conscious to avoid loosing your life time opportunity.

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Common mistakes women make After proposal.

excitement as his fiancee proposes.

A lot of women has always longed for that period when their man would pop up the long awaited question “will you marry me? Especially when they have dated him for so long. You can’t wait to see him kneel before you, and propose. After which you wouldn’t hesitate to accept his proposal. To some women out there, proposal equates to marriage. While some has the perception that proposal is just a way of securing their relationship possibly to scare other intending suitors.
I am sure you must have heard 7a lot of women complain about wearing the engagement ring for so long… To the point that the began to doubt the possibility of the marriage taking place. This occurs as a result of naivety and lack of proper information as regards to proposal and engagement ring.

Here are common mistakes women make after proposal.

misconception about marriage

having the believe that with proposal, marriage is certain. And this is why so many have worn that ring and yet never experienced marriage.

They assumed they had gotten married without paying heed to the future of the relationship. And thus may have possibly chased other potential suitors away. When engaged, is not right to sit back even when is obvious that the engagement may not lead to marriage. You have to look out for signs, is he really making preparations for marriage or did he engage you to scare potential suitors away so as not to loose you. or to curb your desperation towards marriage. How is he planning to carry out the marital rights? These are some of the things to consider.

Assuming marital roles:

A lot of women are guilty of this. At the mere mention of marriage, sense of reasoning drops, co-habitation with a man becomes becomes the next decision. Performing wify roles and functions like house chores, constant love makings. Thus hindering and delaying the marriage plans. Because most men gets so comfortable at this stage. There is lesser urge to perform the marital rights since he is already getting the duties that was meant for marriage. There is nothing wrong with going to your fiancee’s house to help him out with house chores once in s But when it becomes habitual to the point of co-habitation, it spells desperation which may delay the marriage plans. Non availability triggers curiosity. And curiosity triggers quest. It is human to value what is not easily available and long for what hasn’t been tested or experienced.

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Sex and bond in a relationship

sex and bond.

And so you have gotten into an intimate relationship. The excitement pops in that you barely get enough of each other. The spark seems to be igniting each day as you are always seen in each other’s company. At a point, you started feeling an intense urge to include sex as part of your intimacy, as romance and exploring each other intimate part seems to be insufficient.

Sex will create a bond which will spice up our relationship and enable it last longer. ” your instinct gives you that impression. And this takes us to the controversial question.

Does sex really creates bond?

In romantic love there are two special kinds of hormones released during sex and at the point of orgasm. They are oxytocin and vasopressin.these chemicals ignites a special bond otherwise known as Emotional bond which makes the individual gets attached to each other. Sex itself is like a soul tie, this explains the reason why one or both partner finds it difficult to let go of each other when the relationship comes to an end. And women are mostly affected in this scenario as a result of their emotional and sensitive nature.

However, regardless of the fact that sex creates an emotional bond, the feelings usually associated with sex spurs out the true spice in marriage. But for relationships it could be complicating especially if the foundation of the relationship has been built solely on sex. There is every tendency that one or both partners might fall out of love if they were only interested in sex. This is when reality sets in, the sex becomes bored along the line. as they began to realize that aside sex they had nothing else to offer to each other.

Sex should not be the basis of any relationship especial an undefined relationship. Surprisingly, married couples with all their amazing and consistent sex life still gets divorced over other trival issues let alone individuals in a relationship.
Most people especially female virgins complains of their partner’s high sexual libido and their inability to adapt to their celibacy. Hence the constant pressure from them to succumb. I believe such individual has nothing else to offer aside sex. When you possess some other unique qualities, like caring attitude, tolerance, intelligence and sense of humour. Be rest assured that sex will be the least priority in your partner’s mind. And thus they will respect your decision to stay celibate.