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6 steps in Overcoming trying moments in life

 

6 steps in Overcoming trying moments in life 1
Overcoming trying moments in life

Trying moments in life is inevitable as life itself is unpredictable. Is every individual’s desire to have a stress free life. Is every individual dream to have their dreams and visions in life fulfilled. But unfortunately,  life does not always give us what we requested for.  At this juncture,, we may have no other choice than to accept it while working and hoping for the best.

Trying moments in life could come in  various forms ranging from financial instability, ailments, loosing of loved ones,  crisis in relationship/marriage, unemployment, loss of job  and so on. The list is endless, but these are the major and the most common reason of so many challenges people undergo in life.

Just like the saying goes,  he who wears the shoe knows where it hurts the most. You may not understand what they are going through if you haven’t encountered similar experience.

 

It is so easy to counsel them,  issue advise or instructions,  judge them or tell them what they could have done to avert the situation. but then, realistically is not always easy as portrayed.

just like a woman undergoing marriage crisis and emotional abuse.  Everybody will keep screaming get a divorce,  the society will keep blaming her for not getting a divorce considering the fact that her life is at risk, if she continues to stay in such marriage.  However,  no one would understand the pains of getting separated in a marriage/relationship where you might had probably invested a lot.  Especially when kids are involved.  No one understands the psychologically and emotional trauma associated with divorce.  Divorce might really be the best decision in some scenario however,  only the one about to make such decision knows and understands how difficult it is.

Trying moments in life can lead to  depression..  A depressed mind needs words of encouragement in other to have their hopes revived. But unfortunately,  depression a times comes with pessimism and the feelings that all hope had been lost.

This is why most depressed people often resort to suicide. 1 out of 10 individual’s commits suicide annually.  In some rare cases,  depression can also Lead to Mental disorder.  Not every insane person on the road is actually mad.  Some emerged as a result of frustration.

Having known  what trying moments in life entails and it’s psychological effect.  The next question is,  how we can overcome it? How can we cope when we unfortunately find ourselves amides  of storms and challenges of life?

4 steps in Overcoming trying moments in life.

Believe in yourself

this is similar to the saying “tough time does not last but tough people do. There is one remarkable features about tough people that distinguishes them from their counterparts. And that is the fact that they are always optimistic.

They don’t give up easily. They hardly believe is over. And that’s why they keep striving rather than contemplate suicide. Their toughness is borne out of the fact that they have much confidence in themselves. No matter how intense the storms of life is. They are ready to walk through. Such people keeps the hope alive even when they loose their job.

And that is why you often see them bounce back again and might even become self employed. It might only take time, but their dreams never dies. Some storms in life requires nothing than believing in yourself while hoping for the best. Examples of Such storms are  loosing a job and financial instability.

Be positive minded

Negativity often breeds negative thoughts like suicide. I’ve often heard a lot of people use the phrase “i am finished”. I am very certain they really don’t know the meaning of such statement.

Because if they do,,they wouldn’t have uttered it. finish literally indicates an end toward something, it also indicates lifeless. That implies that you’ve unintentionally declared yourself lifeless even while you are still life. Are there people who had passed through similar situation and came out stronger? Then assure yourself that definitely you will.

Get motivation from experienced folks

The best source of motivation is the one gotten from experienced people who had probably gone through similar experience and still pulled through.

This is because such motivations is more practical than theoretical. It is real and contains useful guide that will enable the seeker of such motivation to overcome his/her own trials.

When you are passing through certain challenges,it is common to assume that you are the most unfortunate human on earth. But when you look around or read some motivational articles, you will find out that yours is minor as compared to what  others might have undergone. This would definitely make you to feel relieved and optimistic. It would also help to calm your nerves as you continue to push.

Avoid publicizing your challenges

That you are having issue or challenges in relationship/marriage is not enough reason to make your keep announcing your problem even to those who may not care to listen. A lot of relationship/marriage had been damaged by wrong counsel. In the bid to save your relationship or marriage, you might be unknowingly making it prone to more dangers. This is also applicable to other trying moments in life aside relationship/marriage. If you must seek for advise, endeavor is from the right source.

Be consistent

Nothing drives passion and motivation than seeing the result of your endeavors. It induces hard work and the passion to be more committed.

However, that may not be guaranteed at all times. There are times when things might not be going the way you wished them. There are times when your effort might not correlate with your handwork.

This is another trying moment in life. and if you are not careful enough, you might be tempted to quit at this point. but always remember that every road to success is not always smooth. a times one have to pass through so many pot holes before getting to the destination. . Before achieving your dream. To every glory, there is always a story.

 

Prayers

overcoming-lifes-difficult-moments has never been easy, but prayer can be very effective at such time.

I know how depressing it can be to experience trying moments in life. Sometimes, you feel frustrated and weak to pray.

No matter how difficult it is, never relent in prayers. You might have worked tiredly, labored so much but all to no avail. The best is leave the rest for God to handle since you’ve done your part. Soon you will be surprise at the outcome.

 

 

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Coping with trying moments in relationship?

Trying moments in a relationship
Trying moments in relationship
Trying moments in  relationship can be a very difficult moment for both partners.  Hard times can occur for several reasons ranging from financial restraint,    incompatibility misunderstandings,  fights,  lack of trust and constant arguments .  All these are inevitable and can occur at any given point.  They are not uncommon.  This is why relationship are far from perfections.

A healthy  relationship doesn’t consist of perfect couples,  but imperfect couples who truly feels perfect for each other,  even though they are both striving towards perfection.  In other words,  they feel fulfilled around each other despite each other’s flaws.

You see some couples and wonder if  they’ve ever had  any differences in their relationship?you see some relationship and wonder if there had ever been any misunderstanding, arguments or fight among the couples?  Probably because of the way they display their affections in public, we envy them while silently wishing that our relationship could be like their’s.  In public they seem so perfect,  but in reality,  and behind closed doors reverse is usually the case.

Behind every successful relationship, there are usually couples who strived and fought so hard towards making it a reality.

Behind every enviable relationship, there are usually couples who passed through or maybe currently passing through several moments of trials,  but never gave up.  Rather sought for ways to deal with their trials and still came out stronger than they were.

Trying moments in relationship are like test of love and genuine sincerity.  It is a test couples ought to pass through in other to scale through.

It is a test that will determine the life span of a relationship.  Couples who went through a lot of trying moments during their relationship days and still came out stronger have the tendency of having a successful marriage,  than couples who did not undergo any trying moments in relationship.

This is why we often emphasize on the fact that Love alone does not keep a relationship   .  Because there are times when pressures and trials might seem so intense,  at this period the love no matter how deep and romantic it is might not be too strong to help them pull through.

This is why we the rate of divorce had been on the increase. Most couples who divorced each other didn’t do so because they fell out of love.  But because,  the pressures and trying moment were stronger than the love they thought they had. The feelings were still present,  but they lack exposure and the right qualities that would have enabled them. Scale through.

They relied so much on their love and  feelings.   but unfortunately,  the weight of pressures and challenges could not condone their love.

No matter the  intensity of the trying moment in a relationship,  the good news is that couples can still overcome

Some trying moments in relationship and how to handle them

Coping  with trying moments in relationship? 2
How to handle trying moments in relationships

 

Financial -restraint

This is an example of trying moments in relationship which can lead to break up and divorce.

Money is a strong factor, which can interfere with a lot in our lives including relationship.

Imagine you were in a relationship with a man who takes care of you, worships the ground you walk on and of course takes care of your financial needs. And all of a sudden, he had a little set back which implies that he may no longer be able to take care of your needs as he used to in the past. What would be your reaction?

To some, the relationship would abruptly end at that juncture, while to others, they might decide to stick with their partners while hoping things would get back to normal.

A lot of marriages had crashed due to the financial set back. Most women would resort to cheating in other to survive as soon as their spouse becomes bankrupt.

However, this issue can be handled when both partners understands that relationship  are not  rosy,  neither are marriages. There could be moments of heavy storms.  They are inevitable, but with understanding and learning from other people’s experience, they will surely scale through.

Career restraint

Despite the importance and vitality of career, it can still pose a threat to a relationship.

Some folks  often have issues with their partner as a result of their demanding job . Some marriage are at the verge of collapsing because some couples no longer make out time for each other or their home as a result of their  Busy schedules and demanding job.

This could be a trying moment in a relationship because if not handled effectively. It might lead to break up or divorce. the kids can equally be affected psychologically and may become a victim of abuse since their parents are so busy to guide and direct them.

I know of a man who demanded that his wife should quit her job because it was so demanding that she barely had time for her family.  Being a career woman,  she bluntly refused.  This became a serious issue that both couples had to split apart.

 

This can be solved by effective communication and learning how to handle your love life and goals in other to adjust your relationship for the better.

Another trying moment in relationship as regards to career is a scenario where a partner  gets a job in a different town.

Which implies that the other partner needs to relocate in other to be together especially if both are legally married.

I’ve seen couples argue about this and sometimes even break up because they couldn’t reach an agreement as a result of their Ego. The bone of contention in usually who would succumb in other maintain the peace and harmony in the home. At this point, this issue can only  be solved by effective communication, in addition to both partners learning how to curb their EGO. Because  EGO is the only factor which can prompt couples  to break up in such scenarios.

Incompatibility

one of the trying moments in relationship is incompatibility.

There are times when relationship might seem so difficult and inconvenient because your partner suddenly became insatiable.

Everything suddenly became different that you begin to wonder if they were actually the same person you fell in love with initially.  You are no more on the same page. One moment they seem like a friend,  the next moment,  they act like an opponent.  Such situations can be Handled by understanding your spouse and learning to accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be.  And by also giving them time to adjust in case they suddenly started behaving in a strange manner.

 constant arguments

Show me couples who had never argued or had any misunderstanding.  And I will tell you couples who keeps mute and often gives each other the Silent treatment.

Often times,  argument and misunderstanding are one of the vital ways of getting to know your partner,  because the more you argue or have a misunderstanding,  the more you learn about your partner’s preference and their dislikes.  People who are related by blood do argue a lot,  so it is not uncommon if couples in love does the same too.

However,  it should have a limitations and should be something that rarely occurs.  Constant arguments and fights denotes  a   Red flags .

This can be solved when both partners talks less and listens to each other more.  Two wrongs they say cannot make a right. the bone of contention in this scenario is usually on who is wrong and who is right.  And the nature of an average man hardly accepts defeat.  Hence the constant arguments.  This can also be solved if partner’s learns how to curb their Ego in other to pave way for peaceful home.

In conclusion, trying moments in relationship can be controlled when couples truly understands themselves,  and are both willing to put in all their effort in other to scale through any trying moment they might be experiencing. Endeavor to apply this techniques in other to sustain your-relationship-when-times-get-tough.

 

 

 

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5 signs you are in a one sided relationship

5 signs you  are in a one sided relationship 3
A one sided relationship

Being in a one sided relationship can be so depressing  especially if you desire to have a lasting and healthy relationship filled with commitments.

The scenario becomes worse when you are really working so hard and doing everything humanly possible to ensure it works, while your partner does nothing on his or own side.  That brings us to the question.

What is a one sided relationship? 

Just like the name implies,  A one sided relationship is any relationship that you invest your time,  energy and emotions alone. It is a relationship that drains a lot of energy from one,  and leaves one with the feelings of doubt and insecurity.

Imagine you are sharing a flat with someone, in an actual sense,  you both were meant to be contributing for the effective running of  the home, including renewing of house rent and other miscellaneous expenses.

But unfortunately, you find yourself spending alone,  while your room/flatmate sits back to enjoy your effort and feels reluctant to contribute.    How would you feel?  Frustrated and  furious right? As a matter of fact,  I don’t think anyone in his/her right sense would condone this for a long time without seeking for a way out.

Also imagine living in an apartment with your siblings, you know that scenario when you were much  younger.   They do nothing at home, you do all the house chores,    while they only eat and sleep.  I am certain no one would be happy with such experience.

Similarly, this is likened to how it feels like being in a one sided relationship.   The word “flatmate or siblings” is a title, it will have no significance in your life except you see their impact and contributions in your life.

Similarly, relationship will remain  a title till you begin to see the impacts of your  partner towards your life and the growth of the relationship.

A lot of folks claim to be in a relationship,  yet in reality,  they are actually single, they keep  driving and scaring other potential dates away with the assumption that they are in a relationship.

Reality begins to dawn  on them as soon as  they realize that they had been in a wrong relationship for so long.  Now  you begin to  wonder why people keep wasting their time in a one sided relationship even when they have a choice to walk away.  You wonder why people get stuck in a relationship where they have to stress themselves so much. There are so many reasons for that, and that forms our next discussion..

Some of the Reasons why people get stuck in a one sided relationship .

being in a forced relationship –

when people do something out of pressure,  there is every tendency that it would not be done well.

No effort or what so ever would be invested.  Similarly,  when you pressurize people to be in a relationship with you against their will, they might succumb out of pressure.  But be rest assured that you will end up doing everything to keep the relationship.

For one to contribute toward the growth of a relationship,  the interest has to be there.

The feelings ought to be mutual and not borne out of composure or the assumption that he/she is doing the other a favor.  This contributes to the reason why most people  remain stuck in a one sided relationship.  they forced the relationship to begin in the first   and they had to keep forcing it in other to maintain it.  probably because they don’t want their previous effort to be in vain.

Afraid of being  single

The fear of  going back to their single status is what has kept a lot of people stuck in an unprofitable relationship.

They just want to have the title of being in a relationship,  they don’t want their relationship status to be invalid.

They are afraid of loneliness and so would rather keep managing the relationship than brace up and walk away. Such kind of people often gets into a a REBOUND RELATIONSHIP.as soon as their previous relationship comes to an end.

 

 

Being in one sided relationship
Being one sided relationship

5 signs you are in a one sided relationship.

Nagging suddenly becomes a habit

Did you observe that you are beginning to nag recently?  Are you in a relationship that had suddenly turned you into nag.

Chances are that you might be in a one sided relationship.  There is a saying that behind every nagging man/woman, there is a partner who ain’t doing what he/she ought to do.

This is exactly the case in this scenario.  You nag mostly because you ain’t getting the attention you desire.  A mutual relationship is one where both partners knows their responsibility and does it willingly,  without waiting for their significant other to yell or complain about it.

You apologize for their fault

One of the typical sign that you are in a one sided relationship is when you often see yourself apologizing even when your partner is at fault.

This is usually a sign of negligence indicating that they don’t value the relationship, and are not scared of loosing you either. You ain’t their priority, so they don’t deem it necessary rendering  Aplogy, when they’ve erred.

They love you only in good times.

There is a saying that you don’t determine true love when things are in abundance. True love can strongly be identified in both old times and good times. Before assuming you are in a healthy relationship, first examine how they react and treat you during challenges. Do they offer emotional support to your during challenges, or do they desert you at such times? These questions will help you to determine the kind of relationship you are actually into.

They don’t respect your decision

A  one sided relationship  also includes being self centered. People who want things to be done in their own without putting your emotions into consideration.

Such people always acts bossy and loves to be in control at all times. They would like to order you around, and when you fail to dance to their tune, it becomes a problem.

That is not a sign of a healthy relationship. A good relationship ought to be understanding and always ready to carry each other along during decision making and at all times.

you can also check similar article on this website.  Continue reading 5 signs you are in a one sided relationship

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4 steps In getting your partner’s attention

 

4 steps In getting your partner's attention 4
Getting your partner’s attention

 

Getting a  partner’s attention is becoming a rocket science this days especially as relationship has deviated from what it use to be in  the past. Attention which is one of the core ingredients and most sought after quality by many is becoming so rare to get.

And the question is what could be the reason for that? Considering the  fact that attention does not really cost a dime, it only requires one’s time and commitment. So many folks complain of money being a hindering factor of their inability to woo a lady and start a relationship .

But yet when they are with one who isn’t materialistic, they still neglect their role which is making out time for the one they claim to love.

Aside relationship, Attention is very necessary in every individual’s life. It denotes value and level of importance. One have toward something. Even infant knows the importance of attention and that’s why they often yell and cry whenever their guardian leaves them unattended to.

Imagine you saw an advert concerning a job vacancy, as a job seeker, you courageously walked in to the office to submit your credentials with the hope of being considered for the job, as your academic qualification met their requirements.

You got to the receptionist, but unfortunately, you were told that the boss was too busy, that you had to wait. You politely inquired of how long you would have to wait, but no one gave you reply. You decided not to give up, you waited, but unfortunately, after waiting for so long,

you decided to leave feeling so disappointed and frustrated. At that moment, your goal had been altered as a result of lack of attention.

Also imagine teaching or passing out a vital information to a group of people, only to discover that none of them were paying attention to what you were saying. Which indicates they had no interest in your lectures. Feels bad and discouraging right? This is to show how vital the word “attention is”.
Similarly, lack of attention in relationship can sometimes denote lack of interest.

Everyone desires to have that special partner who  gives them audience, have interest in what he/she does and listens to their jokes no matter how dry they may be.

Women craves for attention more due to the Emotional differences In men and women.as a matter of fact, this is one essential factor which makes her believe she tops the list in his priority.

It is one factor this had turned a lot of women into nag, especially when they are dating a Workaholic partner. But do you know that you can get your partner’s attention without being seen as needy and desperate?

Do you know you can have your partner’s attention without having to nag them about it severally.

To every challenge or what may seem like a challenge, there is always solution, and the solution may not be far fetched aside knowing what to do and adopting discipline towards it.

How to get your partner’s attention

 

 Being Self dependent .

Being self dependence is one practical way to get your partner’s attention. No matter how intoxicating the love is, no one desires to have a clingy partner, one who could barely do anything on their own without having to wait for their partner.

Being self dependence is an admirable trait. Every guy needs that man who can make her decision without having to wait for anyone to toss them around. It shows you can handle a lot of responsibility in marriage, even in the absence of your spouse. Being self dependence naturally attracts most men.

4 steps In getting your partner's attention 5

Giving your partner space when they demand for it.

This  is another effective way of getting your partner’s   attention.

A lot of folks can stop asking the question, what does he mean  when he demands for space?  But pay attention, Desiring for space in a relationship is not abnormal or absurd.

It doesn’t always denote lack of interest, even though it does in some instances. There are times when people might seek for space and time in other to handle their challenges and focus especially when they are experiencing difficulties in some areas of their life. I know it could be daunting and hurtful, whenever you hear your partner utter such statement,

however, your attitude and the way you handle such scenario will determine how long  the space would linger. If you continue nagging life out of him, be rest assured that he might pull away further.

But respecting his decision would hasten the tendency of getting  His/her attention back. Except in a case where they had  lost interest in the relationship.

Being in charge of your emotions.

Is not always easy to ignore one’s emotion, especially in a scenario where you are emotionally attached to your partner, only to discover that they are gradually drifting away.

But then, you have to work on your emotions. Do not always show you are emotionally vulnerable.  Most people will definitely  take advantage of that  fact.

Build yourself mentally even when you are emotionally down.  It attracts self respect and of course undivided attention from your partner.

Avoid nagging

Do you wish to get your partner’s attention,  then you must avoid nagging for whatever reason.

Nagging is a negative traits and a great turn off to most peeps.  Nagging reduces one’s self worth.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with laying your complaints about a behavior or something you ain’t comfortable with. But there is everything wrong with doing that repeatedly.

Fine you’ve told them about their negligence,  is left for them to adjust if they value you.  And the best is to give them time  to do so,  I. e if they wish to.  Turning your self into a nag will definitely make things worse as  no one likes to be pressurized to do something,  even if they desire to do that.

 

external website with similar topic:http://www.psychologytoday.com

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How to handle communication issues in a relationship

How to handle communication issues in a relationship 6
Communication issues

Communication issues has always been the bone of contention in many relationships.

The question  about communication is one of the common question and the most raised topic  dominating every relationship platform including search engines.  This is because communication is a great factor that Can ensure a Healthy
relationship.  And so it’s importance cannot be overemphasized.

Such questions as whose duty is it to call regular in a relationship?  He hardly calls but claims to love me? I do the calling all the time but he never reciprocate,  does she love me?  Anytime I call,  he says he is busy and promises to call back. But never does, does he truly love me as he claimed?She hardly replies my chats even when it is obvious that she had seen it,  does she love me as claimed? These are the questions people ask on regular basis which also contributes to  the common challenges people face  as regards to communication in their relationships.

Imagine you have a stressful job,  this job is the source of your income.  But it so tedious  that it gets you tired and weak at the end of the day.

A times you feel like waking up and relaxing at home,  but then the thought of being sacked and having nothing to fall back to stirs up the passion in you to continue with the job,

despite its stress and inconvenience.

The thought of having your needs stare at you with no means of solving them sends cold shivers down your spine.

All these thoughts became your source of motivation.  You had no choice than embrace your job and continue doing it spite its nature.  Is all about sacrificing a pleasure in other to meet up a very essential need.

Similarly communication is an essential need in a relationship.it is not optional.   It is very necessary.

Despite the difficulty  in maintaining them.    It is one of sacrifices in other to ensure a healthy relationship.  You might be too busy to include effective communication in your relationship.

Your job might be too demanding that you hardly have time  to communicate with your partner.  You might just come home feeling so weak and tired,  and then all you desire to do is to bath,  eat and doze off

But then, just like a job, the thought of loosing a relationship you might have struggled to keep  or invested a lot  in ought to stir up the passion and zeal to communicate.

The thought of loosing your partner I. e if you really love them. to another who is ready to communicate on regular basis ought to inspire you to keep the communication Spark burning.

 

All these thought ought to make you learn how to balance your love life and goals  in other to create time for your partner.

But unfortunately, a lot of people don’t care about the communication issues and challenges going on in their relationship.

They have practically turned their partner into a nag. Leaving them with the feelings of insecurity and doubts. They will always promise to call but never does, promise to chat but never does, too busy to reply to your messages. No one is happy being in a relationship where he has to force everything. Where every effort has to be from you and not mutual. You complain to talk to them, you complain to see them.

Most times, the complaint is accompanied with excuses, leaving you with the feelings of hurt and rejections.
However,, Communication issue/challenges does not just occur. It is usually caused by some factors which I am going to explain in details.

Communication issues
Communication issues

Communication issues why they occur and how to fix them

 

 

When a partner is not into you-

 

one of the most common reason why communication issues occur is usually when a relationship is one sided.

. We often neglect this a lot and that’s why we keep fighting and trying every possible means to get back a relationship which might have literally ended.

Lack of communication is usually one obvious sign that implies that a relationship has ended or is about to end. Nobody maintains a car which he/she does not value. We try to maintain things despite its cost because of the great value we place on them.

Similarly people maintain communication because they value their relationship and partner a lot.

When they promise to call but never does, it shows they might not be into you as you are into them. When they have lost interest, and there is nothing you can do aside from ignoring them as well.

Bad communication habits.

Naturally, there are people who ain’t so good in talking or even keeping in touch by other means. They find it time consuming.  Such people  might be exhibiting their love in other ways.

They might get you a call card, but never calls. They can get you an expensive gift, but never chats.

They promise to call, but never does. It gets you infuriated, but the truth is that sometimes they don’t this intentional. I understand we all love that feelings of having your partner wake you up with heart warming messages which keeps you active for the day.

However, we should also know individual varies in the way they express love.

Talk to them about it. It is relationship and you are meant to be Transparent with your feelings by communicating to  your partner. by being transparent about your feelings,  you are not only solving communication issues,  but also erasing every form of doubts and insecurity you have for your partner.

Reaching out too often

One of the reason why you might be having Communication  issues in your relationship might be because you often reach out. Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder.  No matter how much you’ve missed them,  don’t always make it obvious.

Sometimes give them that space to miss you and reach out first.  You might be killing the spark in the relationship and the vibe in them by excessive communication.  You ought to keep your Communication level moderate.

Avoid the habit of calling your partner more than twice,  except is a case of emergency.  Anything aside that spells desperation. They will always call back later if they wish to.  When they  say they will return your calls later,  please exercise patience and give them a benefit of doubts.  Don’t bug them with calls at every intervals .  Wait till they call back.

Stop making the relationship your effort alone,  give them that space to input their own effort as well.  With that,  you will know if they are actually into you or not.