All men are scum! This statement is one of the most common statement that usually emerge from ladies who’ve had several bitter experiences in relationship. The statement is usually borne out of brokenness, bitterness, emotional trauma and severe heartache.
Sometimes, this mindset or perception occurs in ladies who sacrificed their time, effort and resources towards a relationship, but at the end, their effort became fruitless as they were ditched out of the blues.
They were not just ditched, but substituted for what seems like a preferable option to their lover, Which often results to a broken heart and inferiority complex. A case of building a castle for some other to abode on.
At some other times, the perception that men are scum can emerge from feminists, Who have developed some kind of resentments towards men, with the feelings that they can do without them.
Experiences still remains the major reason for the common statements. “All men are scum”.
Accidents happen on daily basis, auto- mobile crash, plane crash, yet people never stopped traveling Anyways .
Believing that men are scum is synonymous to saying” I would rather miss that appointment than risk my life, because I’m scared of the accident that occurred in the same route days back.
Unfortunately, this mindset has made a lot of women loose their potential suitors, because the bitter experiences engulfed their mind that it became difficult to convince them that there are exceptions.
And now the question is, how can such negative mindset be erased from the victims?
Are men really scum? Find out how to erase such mindset.
understanding the Emotional differences in men and women .
And so you’ve dated several guys, you just found out one similarities among them. And that could be, being so lovely and romantic at the honeymoon phase?( early stage of a relationship).
But then, when they began to adjust, it seemed as though they are gradually withdrawing or loosing interest. And so the next thing is to start nagging, being clingy and desperate till they became bored and walk away. This is the mistake a lot of ladies make, and they thought it has to do with the insensitive nature of men.
But the fact is that, men and women react differently when it comes to emotions. Men are naturally hunters, and during the chase period, they are so overwhelmed and thrilled, hence the excessive attentions and affections.
But then, as the relationship begins to adjust, and familiarity sets in, they tend to withdraw not completely, but gradually. Is just a natural phenomenon, and has nothing to do with interest most times. It is synonymous to that exciting feelings we often have after purchasing a new favorite items, the feelings begins to depreciate as the item gets warn out, even tough we still find it useful. If you don’t understand this, you will keep nagging and the cycle continues even in your next relationship.
A man can equally need a space to think through, if he’s pressed or burdened, unlike women who loves to confide in their lover at challenging times. It is called Alpha- male Ego. They don’t want to be seen as a weaker vessels. Understanding all these will make you realize that All men are not really scum as presumed. And so rather than become insensitive, you will learn to play it cool.
Your spec or desired quality in a partner could be another basic reason of assuming that All men are scum.
Most times, our spec are unrealistic. We tend to give more priority to the physical/ superficial attribute, hence neglecting the attitude of the individual which should be the priority.
A lot of women who complained that All men are scum, may have at one point or the other turned down the request of a genuine man simply because he doesn’t fit in to their spec. Probably not handsome or rich.
Then unfortunately, fall prey to the good looking ones who have no interest of keeping a relationship, but just to flirt around. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a spec, but then you have to know where to draw your boundaries and set your priorities right. As unfortunate as it sounds, you may not find it all in one individual, so is up to you to focus more on the traits capable of sustaining a healthy relationship.
dating for the wrong motive.
It takes two to tango, a successful relationship comprises of two individuals who have the same motives and are willing to input their effort towards its success.
Is quite unfortunate that a lot of women date for material benefits, hence they keep attracting men who date for ulterior motives as well such as sex, in exchange for money. At the end of the day, they will still lament that “All men are scum” when their supposed lover had finally gotten enough and decides to ditch them.
As a young lady who desires a healthy relationship, learn how to be self dependent. It will enable you set a standard in the kind of relationship you desire, so you don’t go about inviting guys who are ready to entice you with gift, but will jilt you afterwards. Be Responsible, so you can get yourself a Responsible man.
Not defining a relationship.
A relationship not defined paves way for heartbreak and emotional trauma. Every journey has a destination tend to be reached, same as Relationship. No one just parks their bag without first considering their safety and shelter. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the question ” what exactly are we doing? And where’s this relationship heading to? Women who ignore this question initially often end up in regrets, they are often the ones who yell that “All men are scum”. People have different aims of being in a relationship, that’s why is necessary to ask questions. It doesn’t mean you’re desperate. It only means you are wise enough not to have your time wasted. Don’t assume things, try to be certain by asking the necessary questions.
Also check out for:
3-reasons-why-you-should-never conclude about men.