Knowing ho
w to manage teenage love and relationship is a very challenging task for every parents, especially in this generation where teenagers and adolescents are being influenced by the society and peer pressures and advance in technology affecting their moral behaviours.
Raising a teenage child with moral upbringing is the priority of every parents, and thus, most will do everything within their reach to get it right in this aspect, however, it is one thing to raise a child morally, it is another to have him/her adhere to the principle and teachings you’ve raised them with.
Most parents can’t stop lamenting on their son’s and daughters behaviour, despite their effort. They can’t keep wondering what actually went wrong, because they were so certain that they did all that was needed to be done. But one thing they fail to understand is that raising up a teenage child does not just require disciplinarian measures, but wisdom and understanding about the age group.
Teenage age is a very crucial but sensitive age. It is the age where there’s possibility of everything going wrong if not checked. An age where youthful exuberance is at its peak. An age where a child can either be made or marred as she proceeds to adult hood, An age that determines the future of an individual in respect to his or her lifestyle. There are several phases in the life of a teenager, and until you understand each phase, you may find it difficult to manage a teenage love and relationship life.
Stages of life in teenagers.
Development/ puberty stage.
This is the stage in which they experience tremendous change in their body system as they transit from childhood to adult stage. The boys develops deep voice, pubic hairs in their private parts and rapid growth, while the girls begins to experience their menstrual period, develops breast and pubic hairs in private regions . This stage can also be called experimental stage, they’re still trying to understand their body system, how to comport and take care of themselves.
Desperate stage
At this stage, they’ve realized that they are no longer kids, the orientations by parents and guardians, coupled with the changes in their body system has contributed to this assertion.
This is is the stage where most parents begins to find it challenging, as they want to explore their environment, regardless of the consequence it might pose.
At this stage, there’s a sudden quest for freedom, they feel they’ve arrived, and can no longer be controlled.
At this stage, the boys just want to leave home and stay with friends to avoid being scolded at home, while the ladies would wish to stay with a young female relative, who probably understands them.
influential stage.
Also called peer pressure stage is the stage where they easily get influenced by the peers. At this stage, they rarely know what they intend to achieve in life, thus easily succumb to any negative lifestyle they find common among others especially their friends.
Emotional stage.
This is the most critical and sensitive stage, a stage where the body feels an intense adjustment as regards to the emotions due to the production of hormones known as oxytocin, which is responsible for sexual urges, romantic feelings and attractions.
This stages comes with the feeling of nervousness, excitement and sensations whenever one is around the opposite sex.
The stages also comes with body awareness, the ladies begins to realize how beautiful and attractive they are, as they get so many admiration from people and the opposite sex.
This is the stage where the desire to be in a relationship becomes intense. And it usually comes with emotional attachment. The guys want to release their sexual tension, while the ladies want to experience what it feels like to be in love. They can’t wait to choose one out of numerous admirers they have Questions like How long should i wait before having sex? Usually comes with this stage.
This is the particular aspect where parents finds it difficult especially on the girl child. Since they are mostly vulnerable to the possibility of getting ruined. Some are lucky to get it right at this stage, while others end up blowing everything out of proportion as a result of ignorance.
Most times, the possibility of having a problem solved is not dependent on the the gravity of the problem, but how the problem is managed. A lot of parents have good intentions and are ready to train their teenagers in the right way, but unfortunately, they go about it in a wrong way thinking they are getting it rightly. Hence the reason for this article “Teenage love and dating. So what steps do parents need to take in handling of teenage love and relationship. Let’s find out.
How to manage teenage love and relationship.
Have a deep understanding about your teen.
Teenage life can be complicated, the more you try to understand , the harder it gets. But then, you have to keep studying and learning them. Try to observe their moods at every point. At this age, they may feel so shy discussing their personal life with you and some certain things. There’s nothing bad about it. This is natural. But then, your role as a parent is to keep a close watch on them. Remember when they used to gist you about their ordeal in school. Telling you about every details that happened with their friends, well, don’t expect that any longer, as change has occurred as well as growth and development .
You’re left with no other option than to adjust/adapt to the new situation. If you’re observant, you “ll definitely know when they are moody in other detect what the problem is.
A girl child will always be moody when going through emotional challenges especially from heart break.
Be accommodating and friendly.
To handle teenage love and relationship ,you have to strategize a way to make your ward become open and transparent to you in every aspect. In as much as they’re in the age where keeping secret is the norm, it doesn’t change the fact that they can still open up to you, if they wish.
Disciplinarian measures should be applied with wisdom, so you don’t end up scaring them away. Being too strict can instill fear in them, and the implication of this is that they “ll begin to find it more comfortable confiding in strangers than you.
When you’re accommodating as a parent, especially to a female teenager, she will always open up to you, telling you about her ordeals with the opposite sex, her male admirers. With that you can ascertain whether or not she is seeing someone.
Devote your time as a parent.
For you to handle teenage love and relationship, you have to make out time for your wards.
Don’t be too busy as a parent to find out what’s going on in your teenager’s life. Don’t assume you trust them so much, remember that change is the only constant thing in life.
They can change at any time, as they’re in the age of peer pressure influence. That’s why you need to make out time and watch them closely.
Don’t be too rigid.
Parents who are too rigid may think they are given their teenagers the best training without knowing they are making them more naive and timid. Such teenagers with so much restriction usually end up going wild at every slightest opportunity they see. The curiosity to explore new environment will be intense .
As you imbibe discipline on your teenage child, don’t forget to strike a balance with their social life. Their life must not be restricted only to school and church. Let them socialize with others, there’s always something positive to learn from other peers, but you must keenly observe their circle, if there must be a positive impacts.
Teach them their worth.
To handle teenage love and relationship effectively, educate them to know their worth from the early days of their life. It is very necessary especially for the teenage girls. This will help them to maintain their relationship with the opposite sex without loosing their worth.
We have a lot of emotionally destabilized and traumatized women in the society who were victims of toxic relationships as a result of not being thought early to know their worth and value themselves, so they wouldn’t entertain any form of disrespect in the name of love and relationship.
Teaching your teenage child on the importance of knowing her worth will enable her detect a toxic relationship, it will imbibe her with more confidence to stand firm to her values, a midst of pressures from the opposite sex. It will help her appreciate herself and always put her self first before others, when she’s eventually ready for relationship.
Give them Early sex Education
Teenage love and relationship can be managed well, if parents understand the importance of timely sex education on their teenagers. Even before attaining puberty, the child should gradually be taught about her body parts, it’s functions and how it can be ruined by physical abuse . They should be taught on the consequences of pre marital sex, this will help them avoid unnecessary relationship/dating at an early age.
Contrary to what most parents think, sex education doesn’t necessarily imply educating your child on how to be intimate, but guiding their sexuality, so they don’t abuse the term with the wrong behaviours which may possibly ruin them.
