Should I tell him how I feel towards him? Should I make my feelings obvious, or would i be considered as cheap and desperate?
These are one of the fears most ladies have towards being the first to make a move or approach a guy especially in our society where such is considered to be absurd .
Men are natural hunters, and most often, they enjoy the thrill in the chase. They are mostly known for wooing or approaching a lady.
However, it doesn’t usually mean that having it done the other way round is all bad. But this is the general mindset of the society and thus placing some form of stigmatization to the woman.
Women have always been in the habit of concealing their feelings just because of what the society might say. They die in silence rather than tell a guy how they feel towards him.
Aside societal perception, this fear is equally based on the fact that they are scared of rejection or being exploited on.
Women find it extremely difficult to handle rejection unlike their male counterpart.
And this is why they feel so bad getting a negative response after summoning courage to unveil their feelings. There is always an expectations of having a positive response and thereafter having the male folk take up from where they stopped in other to still retain their Ego and dignity. But unfortunately, reverse might be the case. Thus causing more hurt and bad feelings to the woman.
However, there is actually nothing wrong with telling a guy how you feel towards him. It is one of the most bravely acts and denotes self confidence. But the manner at which you let your feelings out really matters a lot as that will determine the tendency of either being taken for granted or valued.
Before you tell him how you feel, There are so many considerations that must be put in place, otherwise you might risk being disrespected and taken for a ride. What are these considerations?
SOME FACTORS To CONSIDER BEFORE YOU TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.
HIS CLOSENESS
How close are you to him? Is he a friend? Or just someone you met at the eatery or club?
Have you been an acquaintance for sometime or he’s just a stranger? It doesn’t matter if he’s your admirer or crush,
if you have not been friends or close for a while, it might seem embarrassing trying to approach him. The end might not be so pleasant.
Telling a guy how you feel about him is best and more easier if you both have been friends.
And probably, he might have been showing some signs indicating that he wants you as much as you want him, but lack the confidence to express his feelings.
He may be the introvert type. Whatever the case maybe, You have a better and higher chance with someone you’ve known for a while than someone you barely know.
The former will respect your feelings, and even if he doesn’t feel the same way, he will disclose it to you politely. While the later might tend to take an advantage of that. He might assume you just needed a fling with no string attached.
Maturity level
Before you tell him how you feel, check his maturity level and be certain that he’s matured and responsible enough to handle it without publicizing it or making you feel less human.
Be certain he’s ready to keep it confidential . Only a responsible guy will appreciate such gesture, and see it as bravely rather than desperation.
A responsible guy will not lead you on nor try to hurt your feelings by taking an advantage of the fact that you approached him. He will either accept to be with you if the feeling is mutual or politely decline.
Having known some factors to consider before letting your feelings out, let’s look at the best way to reveal your feelings to a guy without looking awkward or embarrassed.
Best Approach to tell him how you feel without looking desperate.
Begin by displaying green lights .
Sometimes, non- verbal words conveys a great and more concise message than verbal words.
Before you tell a guy you love him verbally, is more recommendable you first express your feelings in a verbal way to watch his reactions. Does he respond to it? Does he in anyone show that he feels the same way?
Knowing this is very important, as that will aid your approach.
However, you must apply caution while displaying your green lights and watching out for signs in him.
Don’t make your self too loose. Avoid intimacy at this period in other to ascertain his true feelings. Is important to note that some guys will play along with you, just to lead you on and take advantage of you. Then dump you afterwards.
The best way to avoid this scenario is to exclude intimacy at this period. Making the first move as a woman does not depict you are cheap. But making yourself available to be laid instantly. It is not always about making the first move, but what happens thereafter.
Being celibate is surely the best as that will enable you guide your heart against exploitation. And still walk out confidently, with your heads high and esteem still intact in case you get turned down.
Be Responsible
Before you tell him how you feel, make sure you have an admirable qualities. In some part of our society, is awkward for a woman to express her feelings,
However, it can be thrilling knowing that despite her idea of ignoring her ego in other to make the first approach, she has a lot to offer.
Such women are irresistible. Regardless of who made the approach. People love being with important personalities who add values to their life.
Being responsible will help boost your ego in such away that concealing your feelings to a guy would not demote your esteem or make you feel less important.
Become friends first
One of the best way to tell him how you feel about him is to become his best friend first.
Love grows gradually. He might not have feelings for you at the moment. But as you grow fond of each other, he might begin to feel the same way.
If he’s shy to express his feelings, you can confidently do that, knowing that you both are already an item. Love built on friendship is usually the best. And turns out to be more productive and fruitful.
You can also read Should I keep our friendship and hold my feelings?
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