How to rekindle the spark in a relationship/marriage

• 

You seems not to forget those early years of dating, when you were always seen with your significant other all over the places, occasional outings, couple’s dinner nights,display of affections in the public. All of a sudden and to your greatest amazement, the feelings vanished into thin air. You seems to have fallen out of love. The more you try to comprehend what actually went wrong, the more confused you get. Initially this is someone you vowed to stick to and probably spend the rest of your life with. But what was happening at the moment was really beyond your imaginations. So many questions begins to crew up in your mind such as Why the sudden change of feeling? Was that love I felt initially or infatuation? How can I rekindle the spark? You don’t need to panic, you are not alone in this. So many people have experienced such. if you find your self in such situations. It is very normal to fall out of love or not to continue feeling the same way you felt during those early lovey dovey days. Every relationship/marriage passed through a delicate and special stage known as”the honey moon phase”. This is the stage where the feelings of love for each other is at its peak. During these stage,many people tend to impress their partner and this might include hiding certain characters or behaviors from them for fear of being rejected. At this period, you might not really understand him/her no matter how you try to. Then the big question is after this honey moon phase, what happens next??? Just like the saying usually goes, there is no smoke without fire. This will take us back to our topic what causes lost spark in a relationship/marriage and how to rekindle it.

Lack of understanding

so many relationships/marriages has been destroyed because couples don’t understand themselves. Love is not just enough to sustain a relationship. Just like was explained, after the honey moon phase, the next phase is getting to know each other and adjusting with each other’s attitude. This is the most critical stage in every relationship. The romance stage has pass. This is the time to face reality and know if actually you truly love your partner as you claimed. And that is why is not advisable to be in a relationship with the intention of changing someone because after the honey moon phase you might not be able to cope or condone their attitude any longer. And this might make you loose the feelings you once had for them. intending couples should not shy away from any unusual behavior from their partner during courtship, because if it is taken into marriage, it might lead to misunderstanding. If you know you can cope with your partners attitude, then you must be ready to understand that this is who they are,and be ready to accept them that way. Otherwise, it will be best to back off.

Lack of Trust

Trust is one of the essential ingredients that gives rise to a successful marriage/relationship. Trust should be earned. Don’t create rooms for doubt and don’t build the foundation of your marriage/relationship with lies and deceit. As that will create insecurity…..the love and mutual feelings once felt might no longer be there anymore. Because there will definitely be constant nagging, complaint, doubts, fights and so on.

Negligence

just like was earlier explained, most times especially after some years in marriage, couples tend to neglect those romantic things they did together during the early years of marriage/courtship that got them attracted to each other. A typical african man no longer deem it necessary to take his wife to shopping and outings, surprise her with gifts once in a while even though there might not be any special event at the moment. These are little things that spices up a relationship, on the other hand, as a typical african woman, your mindset makes you believe that is no longer necessary to dress sexy, attractive and gorgeous that caught your hubby’s attention the very first day he met you. Is good you change your mindset. The truth is that most men, are attracted by what they see. Always look sexy and clean whenever your husband is around. Avoid tying wrapper always. Don’t drive your hubby into another woman’s arm except he has cheating as a hubby. In as much as these are not a criteria for a man not to cheat on his wife, it still contributes. Do your best as a lady.