what is no contact rule?
As the name suggests, this is a period of cutting off every form of communication with an ex immediately After break up. in other to quicken the healing process.
It is necessary and one of the most effective way of getting over heart break. Engaging in no contact rule works with the adage, “out of sight is out of mind”.
Most times, what get people stuck in a heart break for too long is the memories they had with their Ex. Some of these memories are so intense that they can’t be getting rid of in a hurry.
These unforgettable memories often emerge as a result of consistent communication in the relationship. This is why no contact rule is often devised as the best strategy to get over a severe heart break and heal quickly.
However, the biggest challenge lies in summoning courage to adopt this method. The more committed the relationship is, the more harder it will be, to adopt this strategy.
I know you’re wondering how to cut off communication with someone you’ve once had a sweet memories with and had shared part of your life with? It seems so impossible right? Even when you tried to, you ended up contacting them again, you couldn’t resist the urge.
And to worsen the scenario, you have their number off hand. Even when you try to erase their contact you have it stuck in your mind.
At some point, you just wished they can be in your life again, you just wish you reconcile whatever difference or issues you’re having and get back together again. I understand all these, we’ve all been there, but the good news is that, it is possible and doable.
You only have to apply some effective measure to achieve a positive result.
Aside helping you to get over your ex, there are other benefits of No contact rule which should trigger your effort to give it a trial.
Benefits of No contact rule.
It boosts your worth and self esteem.
Most people have unfortunately lost their self esteem due to the behaviours they exhibited as soon as they heard the statement. “Its over”.
They cried, pleaded, begged incessantly, and did all sort of weird behaviours including bombarding their ex phones with calls and text messages, stalking them everywhere.
Such act can be humiliating and embarrassing, to the one exhibiting them, and most times, it isn’t done consciously, but out of impulse. You end up doing things you never thought or imagined you would do ordinarily. The rejection you get as you do them can be so traumatic. It hits so hard when you finally realized you’ve lost every form of respect they have for you in the bid to have them back.
This can be more traumatic more than the heart break itself upon realizing this fact. I know you’re wondering how you can regain back yourself after all you’ve lost the relationship already. I want to assure you that all hope is not lost. This is when no contact method needs to be applied.
There’s a tendency that they might miss your absence once you stop bugging them, but that is not an assured, just a probability.
The main purpose of the no contact at this time is to regain back your confidence.
It helps in self realization.
Most times, people get stuck in a one sided relationship without knowing.
They put every effort, communicate often,without having it reciprocated, however, when break happens, it dawns on them that they were never in a relationship, but situationship . No contact rule will make you realize if the relationship was mutual or one sided.
No matter what led to the break up, if you really want to know if the love was mutual or not,whether they missed you or not, just stop communicating, apply the no contact rule. If they don’t initiate contact, then it’s time to move on rather than keep your hopes high that they might come back.
This is the time for self realization. You will get to understand that you deserve better than someone who makes you feel like an option. You deserve a mutual love and not a love where the energy is one sided.
It induces discipline .
Not stalking your Ex, or quitting the weird behaviours you once displayed after break up like bombarding their phones, and showing up in the places they will likely be, is an act of victory, and it takes a whole lot of discipline to achieve that.
Perhaps you might have done all this in your past relationships, leaving you with regrets. It is time to embrace change and adjust for the better. adopting the no contact rule will help you in your subsequent relationships, so you don’t end up making the same mistake you made in your previous relationship . It will help you retain yourself respect, to avoid acting clingy and desperate.
so how can no contact rule be achieved?
How to use the no contact rule after break up
make up your mind.
The first step towards resisting the urge to contact your ex is to make up your mind not to contact them. The decision is yours alone to make.
You must first accept that the relationship is over and you need to move on. Having the hopes of getting back together with them will make your effort worthless. When you realize that moving on is your best and last resort, cutting off communication becomes easier and achievable.
Distract yourself.
Whenever the urge to contact your ex surfaces, try as much as possible to distract yourself with other activities that are worthwhile.
This is why you need to upgrade your social life, make new friends on regular basis, grow your circle, hang out with people of like minds and reasoning, attend social gatherings and functions where you will likely meet people of your spec or people with similar perceptions. Doing this, will minimize the thoughts of your ex to the barest minimum and to the point of not having the urge to contact them anymore.
Get rid of constant reminders about them.
What often triggers the urge to contact an ex is memories you shared in the past, and this memories can resurface as soon as you remember something remarkable about them. It could be your pictures together, the gift they bought for you, the places you visited together.
The best way to resist these is to get rid of any reminders. Delete their pictures, discard the gifts or dash them out, avoid the places you both visited together till you’ve moved on. Out of sight they say is out of mind, by working on the physical aspect, you can as well conquer the psychological and emotional aspect.
stop stalking.
Stalking is another huge challenge that many people battle while trying to move on.
Curiosity is always part of human existence, the urge to know what your ex is up to can be irresistible a times.
However, it gets easier when you make up your mind to occupy your thoughts and time with more reasonable things.
Realizing that checking up on them or trying to know any information about them since they broke up with you have no personal benefits or whatsoever to you. Neither will it affect your life positively in any way.
What about stalking them and discovering that they have moved on with someone else? What about stalking them and discovering that they are doing fine without you?
You will get more infuriated right? And before you knew what has happened, you are back to the old and irritating habit of blowing up their phones with calls and bombarding them with messages. Thereby loosing your self respect again. When the urge to stalk them comes, try and engage in your best hobby.
