Depression due to delay in marriage can be a life threatening challenge, especially if one’s life is in contrary to the original plans and dreams.
It is quite normal to feel sad when it seems you’re lagging behind in any aspect of life especially among your peers.
That feelings of envy whenever a friend sends you an invitation of his or wedding ceremony is normal, that awkward moment you log on to social media to curb boredom, only to see the pictures of newly wedded couples pop in your timeline is enough to avert your mood.
Seeing your mates getting a nice job, moving into their permanent apartment while you are still struggling with your life can be overwhelming.
You can’t erase this feelings, it is part of what makes us human. Having a sense of emotions which could result to either an exciting or sad mood. We can only learn to cope with the depression that often comes with it.
One of the greatest challenge people face is not the fact that they haven’t achieved what they ought to achieve at a certain age, but the pressures associated with it.
The pressure most times is the reason for the depression. The pressures can emerge from various source such as the family, the society and social media.
In some families especially in African, once you’ve attained a marriageable age and haven’t gotten married, everyone sees you as a failure.
Your opinion will no longer count, every discussion will be channeled to marriage and finding a life partner.
In the society, the pressure is more on women, as a result of the biological nature of women. Having to attain menopause at a certain age without having a family of one’s own.
The pressures on social media can be overwhelming too. Seeing every timeline and post channeled on marriage and family when one is single can be traumatizing.
However, depression due to marriage delay can still be handled if one apply the right measures. So what are these measures.
11 ways to overcome depression due to delay in marriage.
1. Self reliance and contentment.
The most challenging factor for singles as they attain a marriageable age is accepting who they are and not trying to compare themselves with their peers or colleagues.
This is not always easy, as the urge to get married keep rising whenever a colleague or a friend walks down the isle.
However, it is not impossible. It starts with the mindset. Think of other achievements you have in life, which some of your friends are yet to attain.
Think of your life and good health which some are battling with. Think about your lovely family around you, not everyone have that privilege of having a family around.
Some grew up without knowing who their parents are. But you have all this, it is something to be grateful for. Understanding this will enable you realize that our destiny varies as we journey through life. Some are destined to achieve certain things before others. We can’t all get to our destination at the same time, but one thing is certain. We will surely get to our destination.
2. work on your self esteem.
Depression due to delay in marriage can be overcome by working on your self esteem. People with low esteem easily succumb to depression over any situation because they consider themselves so weak to face the reality.
This low esteem often begins with dependence. Depending on every factor for their happiness . So many of them struggle in relationship and often rely on others for their happiness, thus leading to depression when no suitor is coming.
3. Avoid desperation.
One of the major cause of depression due to delay in marriage is desperation.
most times when you struggle so hard to acquire something, you hardly get it, but when divert your attention from it, it shows up at time you least expected.
Be optimistic that one day your expectations will turn to reality, but for the moment,re channel your mind and energy into other productive things like hobby, work, skills and career. Desperation a times leads to wrong decision. And this wrong Decision can ruin your life, if you make the wrong choice of partner. Better to be late than to be wrong.
4. Build positive friends around you .
Depression due to delay in marriage, can be overcome by building positive friends.
Friends who understands life principles, friends who are so conversant with life challenges, friends with diverse experience in life, such friends may likely have similar experience with you.
Find solace being in their midst of others, especially when they have some words of encouragement to dish out to you.
Hearing other people’s experience can help to reshape your mind and reignite your lost hope. Avoid friends who are always curious to know about your relationship status or marital status. In summary, keep the right circle of friends. Build a connection of like minded individuals. They will help to influence your mind positively.
5.change your location.
For you to overcome a challenge,you must find out what triggers it, and work on it.
What is the major cause of the depression you’re facing to get married? It could be your parents or siblings?
Are they mounting so much pressure on you that you’re beginning to loose your sanity.. if yes? Moving out may be your last and best resort at the moment to save your sanity.
Do you resides in an environment where it seems nothing else matters aside marriage. This could be a threat to your peace. It’s high time to make necessary adjustment to save your sanity.
6. Avoid isolation.
Isolation is the reason why people fall easily into depression when they are going through hard times.
It gets easier when you are around people who makes you feel relieved, it gets easier when you often talk about your issues, it gets easier when you confide in a trusted friend or family, it gets easier when you hang around with people who makes you feel at home.
However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should go ahead publicizing your challenges to every dick and Harry to attract pity. Apply caution while trying to share your burdens with others.
7. Talk to a therapist.
Sometimes, depression due to delay in marriage can be so overwhelming that no matter how you try to get rid of it, it gets worse, at this juncture there may be need to seek the counsel of a qualified therapist in the field. As that will hasten your healing process.
8. Diversify your life style.
No matter how important marriage is, it is still not the key to a complete fulfillment of life, it only fulfills one aspect of life. This is one important factor Every singles should know.
There’s a sense of fulfillment in other aspects of life such as finding a new hobby, learning a new skill, taking up a new career, leading a group of people to attain their goals, organizing seminars which is aimed at impacting people’s life, when you understand these other aspects of life, you will have no reason to be depressed over marriage.
When you’re passionate about other areas of your life, it will help you think less of marriage, which will definitely come in the least expected time. This is an effective way of overcoming depression due to delay in marriage.
9. Be committed to spiritual activities.
If you’re a christian, your relationship with God at this point in life should be very cordial, it ought to be your utmost priority as you’re working earnestly to achieve other things.
Attending christian gatherings will help you build a positive mindset to your challenge.
Your situation can be addressed as led by God, and when that happens, you will experience a sense of relief. This can be effective in dealing with depression due to delay in marriage.
10. Be prayerful.
Pressures due to delay in marriage can be overcome by devoted prayers. When you are led by the spirit of God, you will experience peace and serenity.
Sometimes, peace is difficult to attain irrespective of the measures one adopt. Depression is a reflex action we have no control over, Don’t relent in prayer, when every other physical method have failed, prayer shouldn’t even be the last resort, it should be a priority . The spirit of God can endow you with inexplicable happiness if you rely solely on it.
Don’t loose hope.
Depression due to delay marriage can be overcome by keeping your hopes alive. A times, the fear and anxiety of not having things often lead to the possibility of becoming depressed about it.
Loosing hope can deter your chances of getting married because you may not feel the need to look attractive, you may not feel the need to attend functions and exciting places, you may not feel the need to hang out with friends, depression can making you look unkempt which will ruin your chances of getting attention from eligible bachelors or spinsters.
Some challenges of life requires keeping your hope alive.
