To handle an emotionally manipulative partner, you first have to understand what it means to be emotionally manipulated. So many are being emotionally manipulated in relationship without even realizing it.
what is Emotional manipulation?
Emotional manipulation is an act of gaining control over one’s emotion by leveraging on their weak points, while acting as a victim in other to avert guilt or being blamed. The emotional manipulators are aware of their act, but then, rather than being blamed, they will deliberately transfer the guilt on their victims. In other words, they will hurt you and still act like they’re the one being hurt.
Most times, people are in a relationship where they are being manipulated without realizing it. They apologize even when they did nothing, they displease themselves every now and then just to please their partners but all to no avail. Rather than receive an appreciation, they get criticized. A manipulator is no different from a narcissist.
How to recognize an emotionally manipulative partner.
insensitivity.
When you’re dating someone who takes a decision at will or tries to do things without considering your feelings or approval, this can be a huge sign. It takes two to tango. In relationships, mutuality stirs up bond. Emotionally manipulative partner cares less about how you feel. It’s just all about them and what makes them happy.
They hardly own up to their mistake.
Emotionally manipulative partner can never admit they are wrong, but rather would look for a way to make you feel guilty of their wrongs. I think this is one of their major characteristics. Their traits is like a situation of crying more than the bereaved. They’ re hurting you, and at the same time making you feel like the cruel one just to gain control over your emotions, without having a guilt feelings.
They use your insecurities against you.
They will intentionally do things that will trigger your insecurities in the relationship, and then turn to blame you for being unnecessarily insecure possessive and jealous.
Even when you know their attitudes are making you doubt their true feelings, even when you’re not truly happy with the relationship, even when your self esteem is threatened, yet you can’t help but still feel guilty that you may be over reacting about the whole scenarios. This is what manipulations can do.
They are bullies.
Being bullied doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. Sometimes, emotions are involved. When someone tries to gain control over you, without giving you the opportunity to express your thoughts and feelings, such can be considered as bullying, and emotional manipulators do that a lot.
How to know you’re Emotionally manipulated.
You’re always vulnerable.
Vulnerability is one of the major signs that you’re emotionally manipulated. One of the signs of an idea partner is the ability and willingness to protect their loved one at all cost, but rather than protect you, they expose you to the feelings of hurt and insecurities every now and then.
You’ve lost confidence.
When you’re emotionally manipulated, you will loose every right to express your thoughts or make an opinion. You’re just there nodding and saying yes to every decisions they make. At a point, you may begin to loose your self in the process.
You can’t say No.
This is synonyms to loosing your confidence and self. They have this persuasive and domineering attributes that makes it difficult to say no to them or resist them. When you feel this way, it is a sign of being emotionally manipulated. People who emotionally manipulate others do so to get you oblige to whatever demand, request they need from you, regardless of how it makes you feel.
They constantly use your flaws against you.
Using your flaws to make you feel bad and apologetic over their behaviour is one of the obvious signs of a manipulative partner. Sometimes, their flaws might even outweigh yours, but yet you condone their behaviours because you respect them and hold them in high regards, unfortunately, when it comes to yours, they take advantage of that.
They make you feel like dating them was a favor.
Being in a relationship ought to be an excited adventure for both couples, however, when it feels like one is doing other a favor
, it becomes a manipulative behaviour. And the one being manipulated will feel neglected every now and then.
How to handle an emotionally manipulative partner.
Handle an emotionally manipulative partner
Don’t reveal so much about yourself.
One of the weapons that emotionally manipulative partners normally use to get their partner is their weak points. No matter how emotional you are, try as much as possible not to show it, till you’ve ascertain their personality. Conceal your emotions especially when you notice any sign of manipulation, to avoid getting intense.
Set your boundaries.
To handle an emotionally manipulative partners, you must learn to set your boundaries from the onset. Don’t give in to every opinions or decisions. Know when to draw the line, know when to stick to your principle, know when to say no and mean it. Ask for your space and give them theirs when necessary.
Be emotionally stable.
You can’t handle an emotionally manipulative partner if you’re so into your emotions. People with manipulative trait need someone who is strong enough to challenge their ego. Don’t give in room for emotional weakness. Guide your heart at all cost.no matter how deep you love them, don’t be at the loose end. Prioritize your mental health by controlling your emotions.
Learn to appreciate yourself.
Manipulation becomes much easier when you don’t love yourself. People who think less about themselves are easily manipulated, that’s because they don’t know their worth. They tend to accept any treatment being dished to them because they are scared of rejection. This rejection is borne out of low self esteem. To handle emotionally manipulative partner, one must learn to adopt Adopt self appraisal amids of rejection.
Stop unnecessary apology.
Being too soft and easy going, doesn’t always work in a relationship especially when you’re trying to handle an emotionally manipulative partner. I understand the fact that you’re trying to make peace in your relationship, I understand you’re trying to secure your relationship, however, whatever your reasons are, it is wrong doing all that at the expense of your happiness and mental health. If there’s any need to secure a relationship, it should be done mutually.
If there’s a need to attain peace in a relationship, it should be a mutual willingness and effort. The more excuses you make by apologizing and owning up to their own mistake, the more they will keep manipulating you emotionally, while playing the victim card. Sometimes, it’s good to allow them have a taste of their own medicine, this will attract more respect to you.
Manipulators often use the fact that you’re emotionally attached to them to gain control over you. And the more they exercise their manipulative prowess on you, the more feeble and trapped you’re to run back into their arms because you’re so into them.
The love you have for them is good, the feelings are normal, but you should also consider the fact that they’re using that as a weapon against you. They don’t care about your emotions, neither do they have genuine love for you. It’s all about their selfish interest.
Confront them.
This can be an effective way to handle an emotionally manipulative, this may not guarantee that they would change to any better, but then it’s best you let them realize that that you’re aware of their behaviours and you ain’t gonna take any more from them.
Common! You don’t have to be scared of break up, remember this relationship is not healthy fur your mental health, enduring for too long may lead to Emotional instability .
Create your distance.
Familiarity they say breeds contempt. Perhaps, the emotional manipulation might have been caused by your insecurities and the fact that you demand for attention. It’s time to use the reverse psychology. Turn the table around, so they would be the one craving for this attention. With that, you will stop giving them the chances to manipulate your feelings. Creating distance and space may not be an easy journey, but then, it is worth it at the end jf you can summon courage and discipline to adopt this method.
walk away.
Most times, walking away eventually becomes the best way to handle an emotionally manipulative partner especially when you’ve adopted other methods, but all to no avail.
Being emotionally manipulated can be a sign that someone doesn’t want to be with you, and don’t want to confront you with the truth either.
so they do that to frustrate you, so you will end doing the break up yourself, while they act like the victim to avoid guilt. Know when to walk away, you deserve someone who gives you maximum respect and treats you like they are so excited to have you in their life.
