Discussions during courtship is necessary as it helps both couples understand their compatibility level. There are vital discussion which ought not to be neglected by every intending couple. courtship is a very sensitive and vital phase of a relationship. It is a pre marital screening to determine the fitness and compatibility of both couples to each other’s life .
You’ve often heard that not all relationship leads to marriage. A lot of people had wonderful relationship in the past, but unfortunately, things didn’t work out as planned or supposed. Hence, they broke up. This implies that not all relationship will progress to courtship. Most times,people find it difficult to differentiate between the word “dating” and “courtship”. Let me break these words down with a simple illustration.
When you want to obtain a bachelor’s degree in a particular course. You are looking at the broad or diversified aspect of that course.
For instance, studying B.sc in microbiology entails learning about the physiology and structures of microorganisms, including their behaviors in the environment and their effects towards industrial productions . but when you talk about m.sc degree( masters)/ you are looking at going for a specific interest in your field. You can choose from several varieties of options ranging from environmental microbiology, medical microbiology or brewery microbiology. But your choice has to be specific.
In other words, dating can be equated to B.sc. there is no specification, people date for several reasons. To some, it could be to have a companion and curb the boredom, to some others, it could be for fun or as a way to curb sexual urges.
But when it comes to courtship, the interest is specific and intentions defined. Courtship is done purposely for marriage. People may date for fun, but when they have gone beyond dating, and progressed to courtship, it simply implies they are looking forward to starting a new life as a couple.
Discussions during courtship is what every intending couples ought to have. But the challenge is knowing what to discuss and when to discuss them.
A lot of people are skeptical on the vital topics to bring up during courtship. And that is why majority get into an irresistible mistakes few years after the marriage. In other to avoid this, pay attention to these vital points. -here-are-things-to-discuss-before marriage
5 vital discussions during courtship.
Health compatibilities-
first and foremost, before going deeply into an emotional relationship with someone,,you ought to know your health status with them. This is because marriage is a life time union, and marriage does not just involve both of you, but also involves your unborn children. Which is one of the basic reason for marriage.
Knowing of Health status is a common knowledge possessed by everyone including the unlearned people among us. But unfortunately, a lot of people neglect this fact. We pay much attention to the butterfly feelings hovering around our tummy. Health status is one of the vital discussions during courtship.
You don’t even have to wait till your relationship gets into the courtship level before knowing each other’s blood group, genotype, rhesus factor, HIV status, and hepatitis B status. Fertility test is also necessary, but may not really be mandatory at this stage. A broken relationship they say is better than a broken marriage. Knowing your health status will save you a lot of stress and heartache in the future.
Emotional compatibility
This is another vital discussions during courtship. The fact that you are both couples doesn’t imply that your emotions may be compatible and similar to each other. How do they manage anger? How can they manage certain issues? This is very necessary. Sometimes, imagine an issue or challenge which is likened to marriage and ask them how they intend to handle such issues. Listen to their reply. Does that align with your own mindset and belief? Do you think their reply fits in to your expectations in marriage?
Weak points and strength.
In every discussions during courtship, do not skip knowing each other’s weak points and strength.
Marriage is not always rosy as people presumes. There are times when love and feelings can no longer sustain the marriage because both can no longer tolerate each other’s flaws. This is what they ought to have discussed amicably during courtship, but they neglected such vital discussion and focused on their emotional attraction towards one another instead.
Now is becoming tougher every day because they just found out that there is more to marriage than just love and attraction. They couldn’t curtail each other’s flaws, thus leading to marital failure.
Sexual compatibility
Vital discussions during courtship includes discussions on sexual compatibility. At the mere mention of “sex”. A lot of people tend to shy away. With the notion that sex should be done only when the union is legalized. This is true Anyways. However, discussion on sex is mandatory during courtship. Discussing sex doesn’t usually mean practicing the act. It only entails knowing what turns each of you on as individuals. Even if you decided to stay celibate, there is nothing wrong with having such discussion once in a while. Sex is very essential in marriage. Some divorce issues and infidelity among couples is as a result of sexual incompatibility.
Ability to handle finances.
One of the challenges in marriage is usually the issue of finance. No matter how financially capable you are, if you get married to someone who doesn’t know how to manage income efficiently, you might become bankrupt soon.
Every discussion shouldn’t be centered on love making and romance. Have you ever heard any financial related discussion with your spouse to know how well they can manage finance especially when you are having financial crisis in marriage? What is their expenditure like?Do they always talk about spending extravagantly or do they discuss more about savings and investments? These are very necessary during courtship. Inability to handle finances can lead to constant arguments and fights.
