Long courtship is so common this days especially with the high rate of divorce and broken homes. Yet major reason attributed to rushing into marriage without having an indepth knowlege of whom you were about to marry.
But is quite unfortunate that People have this wrong perception or should i say lack a better understanding of this word “courtship’.
Courtship is not a period of studying or trying to know about someone you intend to marry.
That definition is not strong enough to define the word “courtship” as regards to marriage. Because humans are the most subtile and unpredictable of all the creatures.
Humans are sometimes complicated. No wonder the bible says. “the heart of a man is desperately wicked, who can understand? This signifies that you can’t really predict the heart of any man.
In other words, Defining courtship as a period of getting to know your partner is out of context. and Studying them is not really idea either. because studying most people is similar to studying a hectic course, no matter how hard you try to read, you, you might not comprehend. Let alone graduate.
So what does courtship actually means?
In a better explanation, courtship simply implies that period of time where two people who intends to spend their life with each other tries to learn about each other’s flaws and how to tolerate each other. because wheather we admit it or not,
they are not perfect. so studying them is like trying to impose that perfection in them which you know a’int possible. There is always this hidden part of them that you may not fully unviel till they have become part of your life. Now back to the question.
Does long courtship guarantee successful marriage? The simple answer to the questions is no. though it has worked for some people and still working for some folks. but it can never be a criteria in determining a successful marriage. Here are some reasons.
Reasons why long courtship doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage.
Human being are insatiable.
It has always been in our nature to ask for more and expect more from people. Over expectation is what destroys most relationships inspite of the bond or connection between both parties.
We yearn to have that wonderful partner whom by all indication is flawless and perfect,.and this is the major reason why most people court for long. They want that strong conviction that they are about to get married to the right one.
They have their fantasies already. Right in their mind, they’ve already created a picture of what their idea marriage should look like. Hence the curiosity to know more about them and in turn expect much ftom them. then in the bid to satisfy their curiosity, they engage in long courtship.
Always finding a fault or something to get hold of. They compare and contrast, till they annoyingly drive their partner away with their inquisitiveness.
Unfortunately, so many people have lost their true spouse as a result of this.
Long courtship would always give rise to your curiosity and over expectation thus driving your true spouse away.
He might loose interest.
This usually affect ladies most. A man who intends to marry a woman doesn’t necessarily need to court her for so long before determining if she is truly the one.
I’ve seen so many scenarios where ladies wore an engagement ring for more than two years.
The worse scenario is that most began to assume wifey responsibilities, as soon as marriage was mentioned to them.
They began co-habiting and living with the illusion that they were already married even when their bride price were yet to be paid.
They keep asking same question Is he ready for marriage? Every single day.before they realize what has happened. The man had lost every spark and wants to opt out. because the fun is gone. that which was meant to be enjoyed after marriage had been wasted during unnecessary and long courtship.
Some long courtship are not just worth it. Some are just a means to lure vulnerable and gullible ladies who wouldn’t hesitate to jump in excitement and soon as they hear the word “marriage”. Players use this method a lot to get unexpected ladies succumb to their selfish desire. Long courtship can make the marriage plan linger.
Pretence and unexpected attitudes.
Just like i explained earlier, humans are unpredictable. You might decide to court your intended partner for an extended period of time, in the bid to understand them.
And then, you eventually married them only to be met with surprises and unexpected traits.
They might not be whom you assumed they were.
Marriage sometimes can be equated with a parcel of gift. the outer covering might look enticing, wrapped with glittering materials. but then the content might appear different from what was seen outside.
And you know you can’t have access to the content, except you unwrap the outer covering. this is marriage for you.
Your partner might portray a good character during courtship and dating. Just to win your heart and love or get you to propose. this is not strange, it happens often. hence the reason why long courtship doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage.
in summary: nothing actually guarantees a successful marriage than tolerance. In choosing a life partner, you first have to pray. Seek for God’s sake. Also make enquiries from others who might know your to be spouse to avoid regrets in the future.