Compromising in a relationship, when to say No

• Compromising  in a relationship is so common this days especially at this time when is almost difficult  to please some folks. in the bid  to get them satisfied, you may be compelled to do things against your wish. Dating folks who rarely consider other people’s interest could make you succumb easily.  Knowing what to compromise for in a relationship, could be challenging.

No doubts, any sincere relationship ought to come with sacrifice. We sacrifice in relationship  by giving in our best to ensure it works out.   ignoring our own desires for the sake of love in other to carry our significant other’s along, and have a special place for them secured in their hearts.

However, when this sacrifice  is becoming a thorn in  our life or suddenly turns to an obligation, gradually distracting us from reaching our personal goals and visions. It can best be described as a COMPROMISE. Many a times, we often misinterpret these  two words “sacrifice and compromise”. We compromise our standards, belief and principle by doing things which would tend to hurt us in the future, with the intention of making sacrifices in our relationships. A lady once shared her relationship ordeal with her now Ex fiancee. At that time, she was so  emotionally battered that she had to seek for counsel as soon as possible, as she was already going insane.

According to her story, her Ex fiancee had been manipulating her emotionally, by always   demanding  anal sex from her. She had been obliging, not  really because she likes it, but because she thought that was a way to make sacrifices in her relationship. Little did she know that she was denting her worth, sanity, dignity and principles at the expense of a relationship which doesn’t worth it .With the advises and counsel she got,she soon realized that it wasn’t Sacrifice but compromise. She walked away from the relationship feeling used and abused. Unfortunately, this perception  is still present in a lot of people’s mind. Most people still finds it difficult to differentiate between compromising in a relationship. and sacrificing in a relationship.

How to know when you are  Compromising in a relationship or sacrificing in a relationship.

Comprising in a relationship is compelling  or  obligatory,, while sacrificing in a relationship is voluntary

You  know is sacrifice when you willingly want to do something for your significant other or go an extra mile. For them. You wish to do that because you care a lot for them. On the contrary, it becomes a compromise when you are compelled to do that against your wish. If you are given an ultimatum or threatened with break up for failure to comply,it is a compromise.

Compromising in a relationship leaves you with the feelings of guilt, while sacrificing gives you satisfaction.

It is compromise when after  indulging in  the act which you were compelled to, you begin to feel ashamed and used or engulfed with the feelings of guilt. On the contrary, sacrifice gives you a feeling of satisfaction. because though you are giving up something, you are also expecting something better. Having know this, let us briefly explain some effects of compromising in a relationship.

Effects of compromising in a relationship.

 

You will loose your power of will and confidence.

Your confidence lies mainly in your power to make decisions for yourself. Even  infants possess this qualities despite their tenderness.

The ability to express their feelings and emotions even there is nothing  they can do about it is called SELF WILL. For instance, they cry when hungry and  display signs when pressed or wants to sleep.

When you oblige to every decision they make towards your life, you would definitely loose your self will and confidence. And this would not just affect your relationship, but also other important aspects of your life.

It makes you vulnerable.

Compromising in a relationship is one of the easiest way to expose oneself to hurt and betrayal. You know why?  You are being subjected to threat and insecurity. That Egocentric feelings of subjecting you to their own decision and lifestyle makes it quite easy for them to hurt you whenever they chose to.

 

Your principle,,biblical faith and vow is at stake .

With compromise, a lot of vows, principles and faith  tends to be broken. Imagine making a vow to remain celibate till marriage, then all of a sudden, that vow gets  terminated unintentionally. Just to satisfy another’s desire. this is what happens when you compromise. you will see yourself carelessly breaking up a vow or decision.

 

When to say no

Say no if it is mandatory.

say no if it comes with threat.

Say no if you have doubts.

Say no if you ain’t fulfilled.

say no if you are not willing to forgo the outcome that may come along with time.