Why are men inconsistent? A lot of women can’t just stop asking this. Today, it seems they are all over you, tomorrow, it feels like your presence it’s beginning to choke them and restrict their peace.
And they are requesting for space, surprisingly, when you try to grant their request of space, a handful of them will still come up with the complaint that you’re ignoring them.
Such can be devastating especially when there’s a feelings and emotions attached.
A woman’s primary love language is attention and words of affirmation.
She always craves for her man’s presence. Even during her busy schedules, she craves for this attention, she longs to be cheered up after having a hectic day at work or during challenging moments of life. She wants to be constantly reminded and assured that she’s loved. That alone boosts her confidence to an extreme.
A woman’s greatest weakness as regards to emotions and love expression is “being deprived of your attention, you’ve automatically demoralized her .
When men are inconsistent, it makes women feel neglected. Unfortunately, most men exhibit these attitude a lot. And the funny thing is that, they may not realize how hurtful their cold and hot attitude makes a woman feel. While some maybe exhibiting it intentionally, others may be doing it unintentionally.
However, the key point is that there’s always a reason behind a man’s consistent attitude. Here are some of the reasons why men are inconsistent.
Reasons why men are inconsistent.
Fear of commitment
A lot of men finds it difficult to commit to one woman, in respect to the quote that “men are polygamous in nature”. commitment is a big challenge to most relationships today. A handful men desire to eat their cake and have it back. They want to have a taste of every lady who seems attractive and appealing to their eyes. To such men, sticking to one woman may seem old fashioned.
Their desire to have every spec endowed in one individual often triggers their promiscuous habit, thus leading to infidelity. That’s why they blow hot and cold every now and then.
Fear of rejection
Responsible men may not have the phobia for commitment, However, they may be scared of rejection especially if they’ve experienced such in their previous relationships.
In the wooing stage, men who are intentional about starting a future with a woman are usually careful before making a decision. They may not commit fully till they are certain they’ve found their spec .
Furthermore, their phobia for rejection can also be centered on the fact that they’re uncertain about a woman’s feelings for them,and thus act inconsistently, till it is certain that the love is mutual.
infatuation
Infatuation is one of the common reasons why men are inconsistent. It is often said that men are attracted by what they see. A man may get attracted by a woman’s appeal and gorgeous physique.
He may tag such feelings as love, but along the line, especially at the commencement of the relationship, such feelings might began to depreciate leading to inconsistent behaviours, detachment and emotional numbness.
Men who are consistent in their relationship, are men who have a genuine affection for their woman.
When you like and value something, you wouldn’t want to joke with it right? You”ll like to protect it at all cost by adopting working strategy that won’t make you loose it, this is the exact scenario with when it comes to men and consistency in relationship.
They are mostly consistent if they are certain of the future with you.
Quest for freedom and space.
Have you ever noticed a common behaviour in men? At the early stage of a relationship, they want you close, they can’t get enough of you.
They reach out consistently. But after some time, they begins to act hot and cold especially when their partner have become emotionally attached. It tends to get worst, when this attachment has turned to obsession leading to neediness and clingy behaviours. Men love their freedom,they love the fact they can be in love and still make out time for their leisure and other interesting aspects of their life.
His consistency will lie in the fact that he truly cherishes you, while his withdrawal will based on the fact that you choke him a lot.
They want to play games.
Not every man have a genuine reason for being inconsistent, some just enjoy the thrill associated with playing games.
They attract a lady’s attention with their consistent behaviours. and when they observe that she’s fallen deeply in love with them, they withdraw and blow hot and cold, just to have her chase him. This is a typical attitude associated with players.
He found someone else.
Men are inconsistent when they’ve found someone else. I know you might be wondering why he still comes around, if he has found a replacement for you.
The fact is that, they may not totally ghost you yet as they are still tasting the waters, and keeping their options open. Having you as a plan “B”, in case their main plan fails, and thus would rather be inconsistent than shut you off completely.
Furthermore, they can be inconsistent when they’ve found a replacement, because they are scared to confront you, for fear of getting you hurt or heart broken.
Apparently, if they become certain of their new decision, the inconsistency will naturally lead to break up.
Having a busy schedule.
Every act of inconsistency in men isn’t always associated with negativity.
Some men could have a genuine reason for being inconsistent such as busy schedules, career or financially related challenges.
They may not open about it because men are structured to live independently, and handle their challenges alone.
Being overwhelmed with unforeseen circumstances can actually make a man who was once consistent to become cold and distance.
So in that case, how can you handle a man’s inconsistent behavior?
Reasons why men are inconsistent and how to handle the situation.
Define your relationship.
It is crucial to have an in-depth knowledge and understanding of whatever thing you have with someone especial at the early stage.
Unfortunately, a lot of women are carried away by the euphoria that comes with love at first. If a man isn’t ready for commitment, you may not realize this, if you’re not intentional about what you want from him.
Being intentional about your relationship, will help you to know when you’re being played.
When you define your relationship, you’re indirectly issuing the terms and conditions guiding your emotions. In other words, people who aren’t ready to adhere to this rules ain’t qualified to get close.
This approach makes it possible to attract committed men, as men can’t be inconsistent with a woman who knows what she truly wants.
Avoid clingy behaviours.
As was earlier explained, one of the factors that makes men to withdraw or blow hot and cold every now and then is their quest for space.
Men cherish their space a lot, even though their attraction for you might be strong. When you’re always available, it may lead to loss of spark, thus stirring up inconsistency.
Build yourself to the point where your happiness and reason for existence doesn’t have to depend on a man.
Build your worth,to the point that a man will naturally crave for your presence rather than avoid you.
Avoid hide and seek games.
Sometimes, Men are inconsistent when you give them the room for such. This is the essence of making your intentions known right from the time a man approaches you. If you just want fun, go for it, without much expectation. But if you want commitment, be brave enough to walk away when reverse is the case.
When a man especially a player observes your willingness to condone and tolerate his attitudes, he becomes comfortable treating you however he desires. This is where you need to draw the lines between genuine love and infatuation .
Communicate with him.
It is crucial to ask questions in other to ascertain the true reason behind his inconsistency before jumping into conclusions. It might not be intentional as you presume, it might be attributed to one of the reasons above. Communication builds trust and erase every form of doubts and assumptions.
Don’t let assumptions over cloud your sense of reasons. And don’t put your need first wondering why you are being neglected, why forgetting that they might be actually going through certain challenges beyond their control.
Don’t act too predictive.
Men are inconsistent when you are too predictive. to get a man’s attention, don’t be too transparent, farmiliarity they say breeds contempt. You will become more valued when he can’t predict your next decision.
This doesn’t imply being too secretive, but being strict and cautious about “you” being mysterious a times can be thrilling. Let him wonder what you’re up to.
Don’t be too available all the time, men are challenged when they know they can’t always have you, and the more you deprive them of that opportunity, the more they crave for you and pursue you, even when you eventually yield, don’t forget that the thrill lies in the chase. Don’t reveal so much about you. Always act unpredictable.
