Being ghosted by your partner can be the worst feeling in a relationship. It denotes lack of respects, lack of regards and insignificance.
That feeling you get when you just realize that you ain’t important after all, despite all you invested in the relationship.
You met them, , it seems like love at first because you couldn’t hold back the euphoria that comes with meeting someone you’re physically and emotionally connected with. Everything seems perfect, the spark, the chemistry, and compatibility.
You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them as the intention is mutual, and bond so strong. Then all of a sudden, they began to give you the silent treatment.
You’ve sent couple of messages that got delivered but no response, couple of calls that went unanswered and never returned. You had to give them the benefit of doubt as your instinct keeps telling you that something might be wrong with them, what if they are in danger? What if they are in a tight corner? What if they are indisposed to take calls? A lot of what if’s.
These and more were your concern. However, your worries seems to be contradictory as you noticed that why they are mute on you, they are still very active on their social media handles.
They update their WhatsApp status regularly and even comments on other people’s picture. It then dawned on you that they have ghosted you.
Even while with such evidence, you still had doubts. You don’t wanna believe that, why would you? when it almost seems like you’re married already. Your friends had adviced you to move on, but then your instincts still wanna hold on, hoping that it wasn’t an intentional act.
As days passed into weeks, and you still haven’t heard from them, you had to utilize the last alternative, which is visiting them in their closet and confronting them. Though you are skeptical and scared of the outcome. But then, you still want to know your fate.
You finally summoned courage and visited them unannounced, Lol and behold, you met them hale and hearty, probably busy with their daily routine or with another. It dawned on you that their acts was really intentional.
There are no more justifications or benefits of doubts. You couldn’t hold back your tears, you sobbed and cried for days.
A lot of questions and doubts like like am I not good enough? Why does he or she have to disregard me in this manner? Where did I go wrong? keeps popping in your mind as you keep blaming yourself for their act.
The quest for closure became so intense as you are so curios to know why they had to treat you in such cruel manner without any explanation. But the question is, will you ever have this closure? Since you’ve observed that their attitude is an intentional act?
It is really necessary to know some of the reason why you are being ghosted by your partner, having these information will help you know weather it is worth pursuing or not.
why do people ghost their partners in relationship?
1. Lack of interest.
This is one of the most common reasons why people ghost others in a relationship. ghosting seems to be the most coward, but yet easiest way to walk away from a relationship, when the attraction has faded, because you wouldn’t have to face confrontations by your partner as compared to the conventional way of inviting them over to dinner and breaking the news to them.
This method usually works for people who wants out of a peaceful relationship where there was no misunderstanding or issue.
If such is the case here, you may not have to do another thing aside moving on. Seeking for closure would equally be a waste of time.
2. Life challenges and trauma
Being ghosted by your partner can sometimes be caused by life challenges and trauma.
Some life’s situation can distract people from focusing on what they once cherished and held in high esteem. It can make them numb and react negatively to other things around them. In such cases, they may ghost their partner as this might be their own way of handling their trauma.
The difference between this type of ghosting and lack of interest which was previously mentioned is that you will observe a total silence and numbness in other areas of their life. In other words, they might not only be ghosting you, but other loved ones too. You will equally notice an inactivity in all their social media profile.
3.one sided relationship .
Being ghosted by your partner can occur as a result of one sided relationship. When the feelings ain’t mutual, but the relationship have to exist due to desperation from the other party. There’s every tendency that the partner who isn’t interested in the relationship will ghost the other soon.
5. To minimize the hurt and avoid creating a scene.
A lot of people believe that ghosting is the most convenient way of breaking up with someone without hurting them or having them feel the pains. So they would rather vanish into thin air than watch you weep bitterly, hoping that you will eventually move on if you don’t hear from them for couple of days, weeks or months.
Having been ghosted, what should you do? How can you handle such traumatic experience without going into chronic depression?
Subtle ways to handle being ghosted by your partner.
1. Accept your fate.
The most challenging aspect in being ghosted is accepting the fact that they are gone and wouldn’t be returning back to you.
Initially, you just wanna wake up to realize it was a night mare. It’s much hard to admit the reality as everything seems to be happening so fast and unexpectedly.
However, the earlier you admit your fate that you have been ghosted, the easier it becomes letting go of what is not meant to be.
2. Express your hurt
And so you’ve been ghosted, so what? Bottle it up, pretend like you’re okay and move on like nothing happened.
While these might seem like best tips, you need to understand that there are subtle ways to handle rejection. After rejection!!! What next? The healing process. It usually begins by expressing your hurt, feelings and frustration, don’t bottle it up, don’t show it up publicly either. Sob in your closet, if there’s a need, write about it, if there’s a diary that needs to be documented. This is the first step of your healing phase. The more you express your hurt, the more free your mind becomes to entertain new events and happenings.
3. Analyze your strength.
Being ghosted by your partner can leave the room for self doubt, low self esteem and lack of confidence since ghosting is a form of rejection.
Your instinct will make you feel like you you ain’t worth anything since they couldn’t respect you enough at least to confront you with the break up news physically.
There will be temptations to keep blaming yourself for being the reason behind the break up. But then, you have to analyze your strength and understand that you weren’t the fault.
Think of other achievements you’ve made, think of your friends and families who holds you in high esteem. Think about your contributions to the relationship. This will induce your self worth and confidence.
4. Distract yourself.
It is not always easy to move on after break up, let alone the break up you weren’t prepared for and never saw coming .
You will certainly struggle with a lot of factors such as the good memories when the going was good, their words of affirmation when they still took you as part of their life. All these and more will keep on reminiscing on your mind.
However, it takes a disciplined mind coupled with a bit distraction to gradually erase those memories. These distraction has to revolve around doing what you love most, your passion, trying a new skill, hanging out with friends, making new friends, enjoying the company of your family members. Never entertain isolation as that usually give room to depression. A oid the habit of stalking them especially for those who are intentionally ghosting you. Trying to know what they are up to or who they are seeing lately will always leave you devastated. I know it might be difficult, but you must resist that urge to stalk him it her. If the urge surfaces, look for a distraction as mentioned above.
5. Move on.
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do in the issue of being ghosted by your partner other than to move on. Remember that the fault is not from you.
You can’t erase the situation especially if they are ghosting you because they are no longer interested in you.
The last resort is to move on. Except on rare cases when they have tangible reasons for ghosting you like challenges, you can be certain that you ain’t only the one getting such kind of treatment. In scenarios like this, there’s much optimism that they will certainly come around, but you still don’t have to hope so much.
