To overcome being possessive and clingy, you must first recognize that such act is a Red flag in a relationship.
Possessiveness may sound like a healthy habit. After all, you’re trying to protect what you cherish most. Imagine this scenario of acquiring a very special item, something you’ve always longed for, or a scenario of getting a job, contract or opportunity you’ve searched for a long time, wouldn’t you want to protect it at all cost? To avoid loosing it. Considering how difficult it was to achieve it.
This mindset is also similar to people in love. They want to protect their loved ones at all cost, because they are afraid of loosing them. While this may sound good and reasonable, it however does not guarantee the longevity of the relationship.
why doesn’t it guarantee the success of a relationship?
This is because no matter how protective and clingy you’re, you just can’t control a full grown adult. The decision as weather to stay in the relationship or leave lies solely on them, and no matter what you do, it will change nothing.
To overcome being possessive and clingy, we have to point out some negative effects of this habits and how it can threaten a healthy relationship.
Effects of possessive and clingy habits.
IT leads to obsession.
One of the leading cause of obsession is clingy and over possessive habit.
When you’re clingy, always wanting to be around your partner 247, not giving them enough breathing space, those habits tend to turn into an obsession overtime. It will get to the point where you consider them as the air you breathe, and once you can’t be with them, aggression sets in, and this aggression may turn to violence. This is the peak of obsession. A stage where obsessed people turns into an aggressive violent individuals because their love ain’t reciprocated as they wish. Some may end up terminating their partner’s life in the process.
A typical case of the saying “if i can’t have you, no one else would. This statement is one of the typical signs of obsession, it is usually triggered by too much attachment, over protection and clingy behaviours.
it stirs up emotional blackmail.
Often times, people with clingy and possessive behaviours tends to emotionally blackmail their partners. In the bid to have a special kind of attention, they end up of becoming self centered and insensitive towards their partner’s need. The illustration that was given earlier about trying to protect a special item you’ve longed for is a selfish intent when applied to human. You can’t possibly compare inanimate object to human because protecting an item means having a total control of it. When you try to control someone, it shows you don’t regard them, but it’s all about “you”.
it reduces your self worth and confidence.
Possessive and clingy habit can reduce your self worth and confidence. When you’re possessive and clingy, you’re indirectly telling your partner that your life revolves around them because you probably have enough time at your disposal.
Remember when they were all over you, when they couldn’t get enough of you, when they have to complain that you barely give them attention.
But now, they avoid you like a plaque, make excuses just to avoid you, the reason is simple, the more available you are, the less you’re likely going to be valued because absence makes the heart grow fonder. They were all over you then because you hardly give them attention, hence the eagerness to push more.
That desire and consistent yearn to be with you is no more because your availability and constant presence had replaced the desire.
Psychologically, human crave for what they can’t have easily, that’s why it is often said that unavailability creates desirability. Get busy, so you wouldn’t always be predictable, no matter where your emotions leads you, learn to master it. this will trigger their desire for you, and enhance your self worth.
it alters your peace.
Being over possessive and clingy often leads to insecurity which can alter your peace of mind. Always suspecting your partner, monitoring their call log, showing up in places, where you think they’ll likely be is detrimental to your peace. Such habit can be stressful, and may lead to un productivity because the time spent in doing all these, could have been used to achieve something worthwhile.
it makes you vulnerable.
Being over possessive and clingy can make you vulnerable in the most toxic relationship, most people find it difficult to leave a certain relationship, not because the relationship is adding any value to their life, but because they have become so attached, making them vulnerable to hurts and heartbreak.
So how can you overcome being possessive and clingy?
Subtle ways to overcome being possessive and clingy.
Accommodate love from others.
one of the most common reason why people are too possessive and clingy is because they seems to lack this emotional connection and genuine love from friends and families.
Some had never experienced true love either from family or friends, whereas some others who may have been experiencing that never paid attention to it nor appreciated it, because they were so attached to their partner. In other to overcome being possessive and clingy you have to embrace love from others, prioritize your family’s love and genuine care towards you, so you don’t end up becoming overly attached to someone thereby depriving them their personal space.
Learn to control your emotions.
Another effective way to overcome being possessive and clingy is to overcome being possessive and clingy is by learning how to control your Emotions and love moderately.
Don’t be too spontaneous in expressing your love, sometimes you need to slow done, and that can be easily achieved by devoting more time to other things that will add value to your life, in such that you won’t have time to be all over someone you’re in a relationship with.
Mastering this act will help to maintain your sanity. You don’t have to worry yourself unnecessarily over what your partner is doing. You will be in charge of your emotions and can easily discard them when the love is unrequited.
stay away from one sided relationship.
Often times, people become so clingy and possessive when they’re involved in a one sided relationship when it is obvious that someone isn’t returning the kind of energy you give them, there’s a tendency that you”ll like to measure up with yours in other to have his flaws covered. This act can lead to clingy behaviours. However, this is quiet a wrong move. One sided love should be discarded. No matter how possessive you’re, you can never attract genuine love and attention from a heart that doesn’t feel a thing for you.
communicate effectively with your partner.
When it seems that things ain’t going right in your relationship, instead of being unnecessarily insecure which may lead to possessiveness and clingy habits, the first thing you should do is to communicate with your partner. Relate your fears to them, the situation might not be what you insinuated or assumed it to be. It could be that they are busy or they’re having bad times. Every relationship and marital problems is best resolved by communication. In that way, you both can reach a compromise and enhance your union.
Avioid too much dependency.
Clingy behaviours and possessiveness can occur as a result of too much dependency. In other to overcome being possessive and clingy, you have to avoid being too dependent on your partner.
No matter how blissful your relationship is, always work to have a life of your own. Work on your emotions, finances and other psychological aspect. Invest immensely in your self, before venturing into a relationship, so you can easily adapt to changes if peradventure they happen, and also to help you manage your emotions. So many people in toxic relationship cannot leave because they depend on their partner for virtually everything which is an error.
love your self.
Your first expression of love should be on yourself. When there’s self love, there will be confidence and high self esteem.
You don’t have to cling unto someone to validate your strength. You can confidently handle some certain things without having to rely on your partner. Having this great trait will make them value you more and hold in high esteem.
Choose your circle wisely.
When you’re with the right circle of friend, you will gat to see others with great potentials, quality and intellect than your partner, this will help you realize that you’ve gat other options and not see your partner as your semi god.
Being with other people with exceptional qualities will make you regard your partner as a normal human with flaws, and not like your only source of happiness.
The goal is to strike a balance with your emotions, in other to achieve that, you have to associate with others and see the good qualities in them, so you won’t end up placing another individual above your self, by becoming too attached to them.
The right circle of friends will make you see your relationship from another perspective. Rather than becoming too possessive and clingy, you”ll be more brave to decline any form of ill treatment from your significant other.
