Before the proposal. Five things you Should know.

 

 

Before the proposal is an article aimed at preparing your mind  before proposing to that special one or accepting proposal from that special one you desire to build your forever with.  In other to avoid some mistakes commmon among  married folks, And avert some negative situations that may occur in the course of your marital journey.

 

Proposal is a very vital aspect in everyone’s life. Especially singles at a marriageable  age. Having been in a relationship for some months or probably years. You can’t wait for him to pop up that  question.  As no other romantic words could be equated with that.

No matter how a woman is being treated, pampered or shown affection to. At a certain time, she will begin to feel paranoid, hopeless and cheated on. If no proposal is coming forth from the relationship.

To women, it is an end product and what determines any successful relationship. Hence the need to Define their relationship. From the onset before getting committed. to men, it is a life transforming moment in their life . A transition from youthful age to a full grown man with responsibilities. Most men are usually careful at this period while  making their decision of a life partner,as any decision made can either make or wreck their future.

Before the proposal, men are often gripped down with a lot of curiosity. And often ask questions among themselves. Such as How long did you get to wait to propose to your girl friend? What if he rejects my proposal? The questions raises a lot of uncertainities in the hearts of many men.

As no one wants to experience rejection especially after being with someone for a very long time, with lots of commitment being invested in the relationship.

The feelings is better expressed than experienced. But then, is proposal the only thing we should be worried about? What about other preparations that ought to come before the proposal?

Preparations like knowing the journey  you are  about to venture into and whom you are  taking along with you to avoid future regrets. This preparations and thoughts should come before the proposal, as that is what determines the success of the marital journey. So what are this preparations and how we should go about it?

Before the proposal? five things you should know.

 

Marriage is not honey

After attending a marriage seminar, a friend told me that she was scared of getting married.

when i tried to know the reason behind the statement. she said that  the counseling and stories she heard  from experienced folks reduced her interest and expectation towards marriage.

She thought that marriage was the best way to escape from the troubles  at home. But she was disappointed, getting to know that marriage is just similar to the relationship with her sibilings.

The only difference lies in the fact that the environment and the individual involved are not  similar. but the arguments, conflicts, misunderstanding  and sometimes fights can never be erased. It all depends on the approach in handling them amicably.

Marriage is not dating.

This is another vital point to note before the proposal. Often times, we assume that marriage is similar to relationships. During the dating phase, our emotions seems to be much important than any other factor. We seems to make feelings our priority.

That’s why we often see people who date someone they a’int compatible with. one with a questionable character, with the intention of changing him or her in the long run.

They focused more on what they feel rather than what is obtainable in the future. They ended up getting married, only to discover that love alone couldn’t sustain them. And that was the begining of their marital conflict.

The greatest mistake to make is to think that you can manage an individual in marriage, just the way you do in relationship while hoping they would change.

Imagine spending the rest of your life in jail. no freedom, no joy, no life of your own. this is what  it feels like being with someone whose character you can’t put up with for the rest of your life. dating is an illusion, while marriage is a reality. Dating is like a pre trest that prepares you for the main exam(marriage).the main objective of dating is to ascertain wheather or not you are both compatible. It shouldn’t be just for fun, or  a time to display your affections only.

Remember a time will come when emotions and sexual feelings would become less important to you because you’ve had enough of it. and now craves for peace.

 

marriage is not a contract.

To some folks, they just want to get married. Have their kids who would take care of them and continue their generations, in their old age. And that is it.  what about the companioniship? which ought to be the first objective of getting married. sometimes, we make plan without putting some important things into consideration. marriage is not a contract where you can easily sign up a  deal, and have it go as you wish. don’t forget that what will make your plans become a reality is your relationship with your spouse.

A broken home breeds hatred, conflicts and separation. Good relationship and companionship with your spouse is what will make your dreams of having children who will take care of you in your old age successful. Because children who were  victims of a broken home  are often affected psychologically which may result in developing  hatred for one or both parent.

 

Marriage needs tolerance

Weather or not you want it, being provoked is one thing you should always except in marriage. It is inevitable. Your toes must be stepped on once in a while, your spouse may not always be that gentle man/woman all the time.

A times they may have mood swings either from pressures in  their work place. If you don’t possess the trait of tolerance, you may end up having unresolved conflicts at all times.

 

Marriage needs stability.

Marriage needs stability such as financial stability. You may not necessarily be bouyant or rich before thinking of getting married as a man. but make sure you are financially  stable .

Marriage comes with lots of responsibility. And the greatest mistake is to think that love would conquer all including your financial status. Love is important but can never cure an apetite or relieve hunger. It won’t pay your bills.

Love can turn soar, when frustration sets in as a result of financial incapability. before you think of proposing to a woman, make sure you have a genuine and stable source of income.

Your wife to be is meant to build her future with you. but make sure you’ve gotten the raw materials and other necessary things needed for the building.

She can’t build with someone who doesn’t even know the design of the house he wants to build. additionally, emotional stability is also needed.

Make sure your heart and mind is prepared to face the hurdles that may come with marriage. Otherwise, you will end up becoming frustrated.