Curbing domestic violence in our society

 

Curbing domestic violence is one of the antidotes towards having a successful marriage and reducing the rate of divorce.

Domestic violence is one of the biggest catastrophes destroying so many relationships and marriages today. It is more prevalent than any other marital issues couples face today. And it is one of the leading course of divorce in relationship.

It is quite unfortunate that a lot of women today are so stuck in an Abusive relationship/ marriage,  hoping that their partners might change for the better.

They are being abused physically and emotionally on daily basis. Their self worth and dignity had been dragged to the mud. They have become a shadow of themselves as a result of the ill treatment being unleashed on them on daily basis.

Their emotions had been battered severally and  their once gorgeous body physique had been disfigured as a result of constant hitting. They tolerate several forms of flaws at the detriment of their own happiness. Soaking their pillows with tears had become a constant hobby and habits every night.

Most times, they desire to voice out, but are afraid of what the society might say especially in marriages. The fear of becoming an object of ridicule or topic for discussion among friends, colleagues and religious leaders prompts  them to endure such pains for a long time.

Domestic violence had become a great menace that calls for adequate attention and eradication. However, for any problem to be tackled, the root course must first be identified. We first have to give attention to its source and origin, in order to get to its climax. The victims/ recipients of domestic violence ( women) should first understand and realize some factors leading to such abuse before seeking  for its solution. Curbing domestic violence is not an easy task, but not totally impossible if we discover some factors leading to it.

Some Factors responsible for most cases of domestic violence.

Wrong perception

Many people have this assumption or mindset that love is the ultimate factor needed in a relationship/ marriage.

And thus may ignore some certain strange attitude their partners exhibit.

They are ignorant of the fact that love is not just enough   to keep a relationship/ marriage.During the honey moon phase, the spark and attraction seems to be at its peak that one might not really discover any wrong behavior or flaws in their significant other.

However, the real relationship/  marriage begins as soon as this phase is over.

Ignorance

So many folks are victims of domestic violence today because they ignored the earlier and warning signals indicating that they might be dealing with the wrong individual.

Dating or courtship is a period meant for knowing and studying each other’s flaws and personality to an extent. It is a period meant for both to learn how to tolerate each other’s imperfections. It is equally a period of decision making.

You either choose to remain with him/ her if you can tolerate them or opt out if you can’t.

But unfortunately, so many  people get carried away with the euphoria at the beginning of the relationship, they pay much attention to the excitement and fun  without considering the most important thing which is the ability to tolerate flaws.

Most persons experience this domestic violence during the relationship/ courtship days. They saw the signs clearly but paid deaf ear to it, with the hope that their partner would change in marriage.

But unfortunately, reverse became the case as people hardly change except they really took a person  decision to turn  to a new leaf. A man who hits you in relationship will definitely do that in marriage.

Societal pressure

Some people would rather remain in an abuse relationship/ marriage than file a divorce for fear of stigma and mockery from the society. Such people pay more attention to what people say than what will be of benefit to them.

 

Low esteem. 

Individuals with low esteem are prone to any form of treatment. They often accept any form of treatment because they lack self confidence.

Such people don’t have a life of their own, they are so dependent on their partner for virtually everything. Financially, emotionally and otherwise. And that’s why they condone any form of treatment, including domestic violence which subjects them to a great risk and threatens their peace.

Such individuals have a high rate of insecurity in them. They are always threatened every now and then because of their vulnerability.

How to curb domestic violence.

Don’t rush into marriage.

Curbing domestic violence involves being observant before going into marriage. Remember we said that  Love is not just enough , a lot of people rushed  into marriage without being ready or having a proper knowledge of what it entails.

They were only intrigued by  the feelings they had  with their  partner and the euphoria/ exciting thoughts involved in getting married. Only to rush out when situation becomes challenging and unbearable.

Curbing domestic violence entails  being sure of whom you are getting married to. Though you might not really get every details about them and their personality during courtship, but try to get as much as you can, in other to ascertain if you can go ahead or opt out.

Don’t get into marriage for the sake of getting married. Ensure you are ready,  and you’ve understood the concept involved before rushing in.

Pay attention to early signals.

Curbing domestic violence implies paying attention to some warning and early negative signals.

Just like we explained earlier, most times, these signs are obvious during dating or courtship, but most people ignore thinking that such character will magically disappear in marriage.

But reverse seems to be the case. Don’t remain stuck in an undesirable relationship with the intention of influencing your partner positively.

The tendency of such happening is  almost impossible or rare. Identify the character you can’t put up with, then make your decisions from there.

Be self dependent

Curbing domestic violence implies that you ought to be self dependent. Don’t trust or put all your hopes in your partner no matter how wealthy , influential or successful they are.

Try as much as possible to have a life of your own. Get your own source of livelihood. Be an asset, not a liability.

Men value women with such characteristic and hold them with high  esteem.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that having your own source of livelihood would stop him from abusing you domestically.

However, in a situation whereby his abuse becomes unbearable and unpardonable, you can easily opt out without the fears of how to survive and begin life all over again.

Develop self love and appraisal

curbing domestic violence calls for self love and appraisal. When you place much value on yourself, no one would  take you for granted. Don’t give people room to toil with your emotions.

Be confident about yourself. Don’t make anyone your sole priority and source of happiness. Know your worth, such feelings erases any form of insecurity.