Knowing how to control your Emotions will save you a lot especially from heartbreak.
Our body releases oxytocin, the hormone commonly known as “love hormone”, which triggers the excitement and euphoria that often surfaces when we fall in love.
The obsessed feelings, butterflies in the stomach and the impulsive reactions in relationships is greatly influenced by these hormones.
This explains the reason why you often see yourself doing weird things when you’re in love, things you never imagined you will do, acts you never imagined you will portray on a norm.
Sometimes, it feels like you’re intoxicated. You remembered when you promised yourself that you ain’t gonna beg for love, you remembered when you promised yourself that no man or woman will take you for a ride. But then to your utmost surprise, you see yourself doing the opposite of all this.
After your first heart break, you vowed never to give your heart to anyone again. You vowed never to fall deeply in love again after your but to your greatest amazement, love came knocking at your door and you couldn’t resist it, despite your proclamations.
Unfortunately, these has been the experience of so many in the dating world. Emotions are like reflex actions, the thought to act on it occurs spontaneously, but the good news is that, unlike reflex actions, it can be controlled, if determined.
Reasons why you need to master your Emotions when in love.
1.Emotions are unrealistic feelings.
In a Realistic world, Relationship is not meant to deprive other aspect of your life, it is just one aspect that is meant to be explored, along side with other aspects. But do you notice that whenever you allow your emotions take in charge of your life, you begin to see your partner as the only means of survival. You want them around you 24/7.
You can’t understand their need for space because you always interpret it as a sign of loosing interest. Even at their busy schedules, you desperately want their attention, and they couldn’t give you that, you tag it Cheating.
This type of Emotion can turn a loving relationship sour, because one person is already feeling choked by the unrealistic need of the other, this is why you need to put a check to your Emotions, no matter how deep you’re in love. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Be sensitive and considerate to their own personal needs, so you don’t end up blowing everything out of proportion.
2. Emotions can lead to obsession..
Love is great feeling, Those butterflies hovering around your tummy when you’re in love is perfectly normal. However, uncontrolled emotions can always lead to obsession , why it is good to love someone, it is not okay to become overly attached to them to the point of thinking about doing weird things if the relationship doesn’t end as expected.
The thought of your partner may pop up in your mind from time to time, This is perfectly normal, but having their thoughts occupy your mind 24/7 thereby disrupting other activities in your life is unhealthy. And this when obsession sets in.
People who commit suicide as a result of jilted love are so obsessed in such relationship. People who threatened to harm their partner if they break their heart are equally obsessed. Such obsession can ruin one’s life, that is why it’s necessary to master your Emotions when in love. Don’t become so attached to the point where it becomes a do or die. Always remember they’re human, and no matter their promises and assurance to you, are still bound to disappoint.
3. Emotions can make you become a slave of your thought.
Do you still remember that project you planned on executing? Do you still remember that skill you planned on learning? What about that class you vowed to start participating in other to equip your mind and intellect. Why are you no more thinking about them? or making plans towards them? Perhaps, you fell in love, and each time you’re about to think of vital things, nothing else occupies your mind than that person you’re in love with . You sleep off with their thoughts on your mind and equally wakes up with their thoughts.
Your intellectual life is lagging behind because you’ve allowed an individual monopolize your mind. This is unhealthy, such emotions will always lead to un productivity in one’s life.
4. Emotions can lead to resentment.
One of the reason why you need to control your Emotions is the fact that you can’t read people’s mind, you can’t always find the answers to several questions in your head such as, why haven’t he called? Why is he or she always in call with another, why haven’t they asked to see me ?am I a priority in their life? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with such questions, as it will make you know your stand in a relationship.
However, it becomes abnormal, when you have to worry yourself over it on consistent basis, even when it might not be necessary. This can lead to resentment. You”ll see yourself hating on your partner due to your own insecurities. And the worst part is, they might not even be aware that their action seems to be hurting you, mostly because you’re reading so much meaning to things you shouldn’t read meanings to.
5. It can affect your mental health.
If you don’t control your Emotions, your mental health will always be in a devastating state. That nostalgia feelings of wanting your relationship to continue like it was during the honeymoon phase .
Then, they were so into you that you thought you gonna marry the next day, and when you realize that things were beginning to take a different shape, rather than adjusting to the reality, you begin to feel devastated. Relationship is not always as perfect as you watch in novella, coming to this term will help you adjust your feelings and save you a whole lot of heart ache. So you don’t end up appearing needy, because when these needs are not met, it will definitely affect your mental health.
Too much expectations can pose a risk to one’s sanity. Wanting to be reached out to at a particular time, wanting to be with your partner often, and the more they decline, the more helpless and devastated you feel. The more reason why you need to control your Emotions for your mental health.
Controlling your emotions may not be as easy as always portrayed, especially when you’re head over heels in love, but it is possible and equally doable. Below are some steps to guide you.
How to control your Emotions.
1. Guide your thoughts.
The bible admonished us to “Guide our heart with all diligence , for out of it are issues of life”. The heart literally controls every activities we engage in. Some actions can be reflex, however, it is our duty to control whatever we harbor in our thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about someone you love.
This kind of thoughts involuntarily pops in any moment, but then it shouldn’t turn to a habit. Always having someone in your thought is not healthy, it might come naturally, but it is your duty to pre occupy your mind into something more productive, don’t allow the thought of anyone monopolize your heart, so you won’t have to get unnecessary paranoid when they ain’t meeting your emotional needs or get worked up by your emotions.
2. Socialize with
others.
One of the best ways to control your Emotions when in love is to improve on your social life. A lot of people make this mistake of having their whole life and happiness revolve around a particular person, and when they don’t hear from this person, they go into depression or worry unnecessarily. They got bored whenever this person is unavailable to give them attention.
Connecting with others platonically doesn’t imply cheating on your significant other, but this will help you identify other source of happiness aside your relationship.
3. Practice self fun and alone time.
To control your Emotions, learn to practice self fun, enjoy your solitude, have a personal time for doing that which you love most, it could be a hobby, seeing an exciting movie or visiting an interesting place, this will help you cope in your partner’s absence, and not feel lonely or bored when they are unavailable.
It also creates a sense of confidence which is an attractive trait in an individual.
Such trait will make them miss you more and trigger the desire to catch up with you, seeing that you don’t depend on them for your own happiness.
4. Get your mind engaged.
Don’t get so overwhelmed with your relationship to the point of neglecting other important aspect of your life. Learning how to How to balance your love life and goals. Will help you minimize the rate at which you express your emotions. Being so engaged with work, you may not really have time to keep tabs on the number of times your partner called you, or even stalk them.
5. set personal boundaries.
Setting boundaries is one of the practical ways to control your Emotions when in love.
These boundaries include restricting yourself from doing certain things which involves your partners, not calling or expecting their calls at certain time, especially at odd times when they might be busy with works. With these boundaries, you will as well avoid neediness which tend to ruin a lovely relationship.
Avoid being too emotionally attached.
These seems to be the hardest of them all, so what’s wrong with being attached with someone if you love them dearly? These attachment is quite natural and often times comes as a result of bond created by both parties while doing a lot of things together.
Being too attached has its own disadvantages, it will make you loose your sanity, once your partner begins to distance themselves from you. This is why we mentioned earlier on the need to enjoy your own company, so you wouldn’t rely on another for your happiness and fulfilment.
The best way not to become so attached is to take it slowly while still in the early stage of your relationship. Avoid being pushy, get to know their level of commitment and emotions, be certain that it matches with yours before expressing yours. Minimize the rate at which you reach out so you don’t get so used with communicating with them every now and then.
