Do you fall in love too quick? Are you finding it so difficult to control your emotions. This can be quite challenging. Fallen in love isn’t bad, it’s a great feeling, everyone would love to experience at least once in a lifetime. Love induces peace and happiness when it is mutual. However, the dark side of it is fallen in love with the wrong person and at the wrong time. This is when fallen in love too quickly becomes challenging and should be avoided at all cost. The goal is not to stop your heart from feeling what it naturally wants to feel, but to
Unfortunately, so many people can’t help it. They are easily captured by their feelings, they get overwhelmed when they are attracted to someone, and before you say jerk, they’ve fallen deeply in love, some get trapped during the the talking stage .
While there’s nothing wrong with that, it is important to know that there are factors that should be considered before fallen in love with anyone. And if these factors ain’t present, your emotions may end up ruining your mental health and stability. So what are these factors?
Factors to consider before fallen in love too quick.
The interest level.
When you come across someone for the first time, weather as a crush or someone you really like, the first question that should come to your mind is, What is their intention towards me? Whether you’re the one wooing them or the one being wooed,their intent is paramount to any other factor. Don’t jump into conclusion that they love you or want a relationship with you, only time will decide that.
Their Emotional level.
It is natural to tag every feelings as love. But be careful so you don’t get your heart messed up with the wrong feelings by someone. Some people are looking for friends with benefits, some people are looking for acquaintance, some people are looking for short time flings, while some are genuinely seeking out for true companionship. And do you know the funniest part in all this? Feelings are still involved .
They may be disguised as true feelings, lust or infatuation, but the fact remains that there’s actually feelings. It is difficult to ascertain the actually feelings of an individual at this stage, the more reason why you need to put your emotions at check.
Though, it can be quite tempting, especially during the talking stage. As some people particularly women fall so deeply in love at this stage, the more the talking stage lingers, the more the butterflies in the tummy keeps emerging, leading to attachment, now imagine if you were told that it was just a fling and no strings attached, imagine being told that they ain’t in any relationship with you, after you must have created a picture of relationship and marriage in your head. What would be your fate? Start sobbing for being heartbroken , in an Imaginary relationship. A relationship that was never in existence.
Such can ruin one’s mental health. This is one of the disadvantages of fallen in love so quickly. Most times, true love does not happen instantly. People don’t just fall in love because they’re attracted to each other, but because there’s something unique about the other person which can’t be easily fathomed or found in others. And this can only be only achieved as both spend time with each other. The more time spent together, the more stronger and deeper the love will grow. And you know the most exciting aspect of this? There will be equal level of emotional connection.
commitment.
Before you fall in love too quick, check their willingness to commit. Loving someone who is not eager to take your relationship with them serious can lead to heart break.
Beware of people who will introduce you to a vibe to capture your heart but can’t maintain it at the long run. They are nothing but players. No matter the vibes they give you, they are just there for their short term benefits/ goals. You can easily identify them by their actions.
They prioritize romance and intimacy more than any other thing. They just want to kiss, and have fun.
They have no interest in other aspects of your life. They are not interested in learning about your personality which is one of the criteria needed for a long term relationship.
When people truly wants to be with you for real and not just for fun, it will definitely show in their commitment level, they will go extra miles to invest in your life, even without getting anything in return. Their investment is not transactional, but unconditional and willingly.
Readiness.
The emotional hurdles that comes with relationship can be so challenging and overwhelming. Many a times, our mind may not be prepared for this journey especially when you’re just out from a toxic relationship or from a very severe heartbreak. You may need time of sober reflection to prioritize your mental health and heal in other to bounce back and become Emotionally stable again, else you may keep repeating the same mistake over and over again in your next relationship.
But unfortunately, as unprepared as our mind is, the heart still crave for love and companionship especially after being single for a certain period of time.
There are so many adverse effects of falling in love when you haven’t healed from your previous relationship, one of such effect is that you will see your new relationship as a rebound , furthermore, you may lack the emotional strength to handle the incumbent one as you’re not being led by your logical mind but emotions leading to repetition of mistakes.
Having know the factors to consider before you fall in love too quick, we’re going to discuss some effective ways to guide your heart in other to avoid being emotionally entangled too fast.
Do you always fall in love too quick? Effective ways to guide your heart from such.
Expand your social life
Sometimes, people who fall in love too quick have little to no social life to leverage on. They are mostly the introverts that gets overly excited by little gestures. They lack exposure. Expanding one’s social life includes having a circle of friends with similar goals and interest, hanging out with friends in your leisure time, being active on social media and joining groups especially groups that involves lifestyles, personalities and relationships.
Engaging in the aforementioned activities will help to broaden your mindset in other understand certain things about love and relationships. Making new friends and hanging with friends will pave way for having several options, so you won’t be overwhelmed when someone tries to trigger your emotions into fallen in love when you are not yet certain of their intentions.
keep your options open.
In other not to fall in love too quick, you have to keep your options open especially when you’re seeking for a life partner. Don’t base your spec or standard on a particular factor as those in possession of such factors or trait might not want a serious commitments with you, falling in love with them will be at the detriment of your happiness, it will end up as a one sided relationship. Keeping your options open doesn’t necessarily mean flirting with every dick and Harry, but being open to friendship with the opposite sex. It will keep you emotionally stabilize as you won’t think of being attached to a particular person.
Avoid clingy behaviours.
Clingy and needy behaviours is one of the obvious ways to fall in love too quick. These behaviours includes frequent communications, visitations and over demanding.
The talking stage can be so exciting that it will often leave you demanding for more. But then, you have to master your Emotions at this point. No matter how excited you are, accord them their space.
There’s nothing wrong in returning the energy they give by reaching out too, but make sure it’s kept at a balance rate. you become more attached to people when you can’t afford to miss them, craving to always be in their presence 24/7, Expecting their calls consistently. Doing all these will make you emotionally unstable especially in a relationship you ain’t certain of. Gradually, their interest towards you may begin to decline.
Apply social distance.
Most times, we fall in love too quick because we’re too close to the individual. You see them regularly, you communicate with them often. There’s every possibility of becoming emotionally attached even when you have zero interest initially.
To avoid these, distance yourself or rather minimize the rate at which you get close to someone you like. Make them understand that you’re not avoiding them, but want everything to move on a natural pace, while taking it one step at a time.
Focus on other aspects of your life
Love is just one aspect of life that we passionately crave for. Giving it and receiving it is one of the greatest feeling of mankind. However, it is just one aspect, implying that there are other aspects of life that are equally relevant . They are not there just to fulfill our career path, but also induce fun and excitement. Have you ever tried a new hobby and skill? These activity can keep you focused that you would barely have a picture of someone occupying your minds and thoughts a whole day. Be focused, and goal oriented, try to evolve and be the best in your field. There’s more to life than having someone occupy your thoughts the whole day.
When you’re busy, you’re not just creating a blissful future for yourself, but equally rendering a positive thoughts to your mind. You won’t be keeping taps on who called and who hasn’t called because you’re not attached to them and your life doesn’t revolve around them. It keeps your mind focused on things that matters most.
