Being too available, Does it often leads to being less valued and disrespected? Would I loose my value once I start showing up too often and frequent in his/ her life, or would I be appreciated more?
These and many more are some of the controversial questions many are so curios to find the answers to. Especially folks who tends to show more commitment and loyalty in their relationship.
You’ve heard of the popular saying, ” familiarity breeds concept’. People use this quote often to denote that being too available in someone’s life may lead to a situation of being taken granted. But the question is, is this a really proven fact or just a general misconception?
This question may not have a specific answer, but depends on several factors. I.e the nature of the relationship, the person involved, the intention and mindset of one or both partners. This implies that being too available may affect relationship A and may not affect Relationship B.
Some relationship tends to become more stronger as soon as one or both partners began showering each other with lots of attention. There are people who were never in love with their partner initially, but their love began to grew as a result of the affection and care they got. In other words, rather than make them loose interest, it stimulated their interest. That is the reason why the conception of loosing one’s value in a relationship solely because one is too available is not always true, but dependent on several factors which was earlier explained..
I’ll be explaining this factor one after the other.
Being too available in a relationship. Some factors to consider.
Nature of the relationship
The nature of a relationship is a great determining factor of whether or not one may be taken for granted when he/ she becomes too available. When someone sees you as a fling rather than a partner or soul mate, he/she maybe less bothered about receiving attention from you, because they desire nothing else aside the sexual pleasure they get from you.
And once they discover you are becoming too needy, showing up too often in their life, they will find a way to scare you away or flee. This is because you seems to be going in contrary to their intentions.
It is necessary to understand the nature of your relationship before throwing yourself at someone. Ensure that their feelings, objectives and interest are similar to yours, before demanding to be valued. It takes two to tango. Make sure you are in a well defined relationship. Else you will always be taken for granted.
Familiarity can only breed concept when someone ain’t seeing a future with the other who seems to be giving much of his/ her attention and also desiring to have it reciprocated.
Egocentric MINDSET
Being too available can only diminish value if one or both partner are too egocentric and full of themselves.
People who value their relationship can never get tired of being in each other’s company or spending time together.
To such people, there’s nothing as being too available. No time spent together is ever enough. There is always willingness to do things in a mutual way.
There’s the desire to have each other around. So in this scenario, it all depends on the egoistic state of the parties involved.
People who value their Ego more than the relationship will feel threatened once they discovered that you are becoming less available. But when you were much available, they will term you ” needy and desperate” thus going for the ones that they appears unavailable and less reachable.
ATTITUDE
Sometimes, the reason why you may be neglected may not really be because you are too available.
But because your availability has no positive impact to someone. You can be less available and yet not missed, while on the contrary, you might always be available and much more appreciated to the point that going invisible for a short will create a vacuum in the hearts of others.
Does your availability often breeds negative attitudes such as nagging? Insensitivity? Pride? Disloyalty? Fury? . if that is the case, be rest assured that your Availability may become a burden to some people. This is where majority complains of being ignored because they are much available. But when your availability comes up with so many positive attitudes such as peace of mind, submission, respect, intelligent views and mindset. You will be more desired every now and then.
You can also check out this external source being-available-hurt-relationship.
