To quit being desperate in a relationship requires a lot of self control especially for folks who made their relationship a top priority.
Desperation is a negative trait which triggers the mindset to get something at all cost, irrespective of the odds or disastrous outcome.
Desperation occurs when there is sudden quest to acquire something. And that’s the leading factor of so many social vices people indulge in .
It could be the desperation to acquire material things, desperation to achieve fame and so on.
Similarly, in relationship. Being desperate entails desiring for long time commitment, attention and love from your spouse or any member of the opposite sex even when they are unwilling to give out it out freely. People who are desperate do not mind even when they are ignored and treated unfairly.
All that matters to them is having their intentions accomplished. With such desperation, the rate of heart break had been on the increase,,with women toping the list as the most affected, as desperation is highly seen among women.
Especially for women at marriageable age. With the desperation, the tendency of being heartbroken, jilted and betrayed is on the increase mostly by men who may not really want any serious commitment from them aside flings with no strings attached. Ever seen a Desperate woman in a relationship? She is like an infant awaiting to be breast fed by the mother. The desire is so intense to the point that the baby might not survive if he/she was denied. In other words,
Being desperate is an unhealthy habit that needs to be stopped. But how can we do that? Before we begin to explain some steps that could enable one to stop being desperate.
Lets look at some reasons why people are desperate.
Reasons why people are desperate.
Giving more than required.
Most times, what pushes most lady to desperation is their commitment and the effort they invested in a relationship.
Hence this triggers their desire to long for more. And thus they may begin to show some signs of desperation if this desires are not met. This categories of ladies often show sign of Insecurity.
They are the ladies that could go to any length including casting a spell on a man just to get his attention. Or can even try doing something weird like attempting suicide if they couldn’t get the attention they crave for.
2. Moving too fast
Being desperate can make a lady to initiate a topic relating to marriage proposal or directly ask her supposed date his intention toward their friendship at the very first date.
There is nothing wrong with inquiring to know about the future of your relationship, but you shouldn’t be too fast on that other as it may signify desperation. There are stages in a relationship ranging from the wooing stage to the point of proposal.
And some really love following these steps systematically without trying to skip or maneuver. Is all about individual preferences.
Some prefer starting off with friendship, then seeing how it goes from there before considering being intimate. So trying to rush them might become disastrous as it might drive them farther. To some people, slow and steady is really the best.
Inferiority complex is the leading cause of insecurity.
People with low self esteem are usually the most desperate because they are always sensitive to detect who loves or who does not love them.
They lack self confidence, and self love, and that often makes them to desire for love from other source at all cost.
Not reading the Red flags
Most people are lost in emotions as soon as they fall in love. In such that they often ignore some signals indicating that their partner might have lost interest.
Such red flags are evidence indirectly showing that a relationship is practically over. And when this happens, the one who had lost interest would suddenly become distant, cold and less active towards this relationship. Thus, arousing the desperation in the affected partner.
Societal pressures
This affects young women the most. When a young woman is ripe for marriage, there might be intense pressures from her relations, siblings, friends and colleagues. Thus leading her to desperation which might equally lead to making the wrong decision.
Steps on how to stop being desperate.
Take things gradually
Don’t be too fast to express your emotions, especially when you ain’t sure of their intentions yet. Don’t read too much meanings to the affections and care they might be giving you till they come out openly to declare their intentions.
The fact is that they might not want anything more than friendship, and so reading so much meaning to their kind gestures would only leave you in disappointments. While arousing the curiosity and desperation in you. Is always better to take it one step at a time. Don’t be in a hurry to invest your emotion.
Don’t ignore the red flags
Another factor that can enable one to stop being desperate in a relationship is to pay attention to the warning signals indicating that a relationship is about to end. Most times, this signs are there, but our instincts keeps giving us false hopes. Do not allow your emotions becloud your sense of reasoning.
Build your self esteem
Love begins with you, affection begins with you. I understand the fact that you are not getting younger, i am not disputing the fact that you want to settle down. But do you know that you can actually be Single and yet happy while waiting for the right one. Also, note that happiness and self love is in the mindset. You are solely responsible for your happiness. That’s why you must derieve a source to be happy within without waiting for any one to make you happy. Ignore every pressures around you. Remember you have to live with your choice alone. don’t let your desperation lead you to the wrong choice. .
Define a relationship from the onset .
Defining a relationship or friendship from the begining will save you a whole lot of stress including being desperate.
Don’t just relax and assume things. you both ought to come up with a decision or conclusion on what you tend to achieve at the end. you can bring it up, if they ain’t ready or willing to reveal their intentions. but make sure you ain’t doing that too early, especially on a first date. Otherwise, it would definitely be nothing else other than desperation.
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