How to discover your weak points in a relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are your Weak points in a relationship? Do you know they can  ruin your  relationship, if not discovered and tackled with.

The first step towards solving any issues in life is to discover it, then admit is an issue. By admitting, you are creating room for an adjustment. You are creating the possibility of changing for better.

Some years back, I had this habit of talking back words whenever my mum was furious at me. She would yell, and so in the bid to defend my self and proof that I was right, I would try as much as possible to explain amidst of her yelling. Thus making the conversation/ argument to linger. At a time, I discovered that I wasn’t just doing it with my mum, but with every other persons including my peers. I hate maintaining my silence whenever am misunderstood, I would rather engage in argument in the bid to secure my Ego.

I often argue till the person am arguing with becomes tired and gives up.I never knew that was a weak point, that was why I never bothered to work on it. Between, my mother had cautioned me severally to work on it, else I might have my marriage shattered in the future.

Having read some true stories of some married folks who had their marriage ruined via  constant argument. I then admitted  that it was a huge weak point. Which prompted me to begin to work towards it.

A lot of folks don’t realized that some attitudes are weak points in a relationship. Hence,they assume is an inherent trait and so they feel reluctant working towards it.

Here is a brief story as narrated by  a friend who once sought for an advise.

I have been in several relationships in the past. yet none lasted despite all my efforts and commitment .  It will literally end as soon as I begin to adjust and reciprocate their love. I love attention a lot. So I don’t usually hesitate to call the attention of my lover towards it once am not getting enough of it.

However, I have discovered that anytime I do that, they will begin to withdraw, and before I say jerk, the relationship becomes a history. I wondered why my relationship rarely lasts. ” she complained bitterly”.

After narrating her story, I was able to deduce one factor. And that is the fact that she has a weak point which she never knew existed. What was her weak points? Insecurities and nagging.

Demanding for attention on its own is not entirely wrong. But the way and manner in which she often goes about it is the problem. Thus leading to the consistent heartbreak she often get. After given her a piece of advise, she began to work towards it and now her current relationship has lasted more than she can imagine.

 

Many a times, we have weak points in a relationship, which we are ignorant of. We assume we are exhibiting the best of character without knowing that we are wrong. At the end of every relationship, both the dumper and the dumpee  plays the victim roles. Everyone claims to have treated the other well without receiving a reciprocation. But unknowingly to us, there are behaviours which our partner might have found offensive which led to the end of the relationship.

Having a weak point is a normal trait in human. But is one thing to have a weak point, and another to discover it. So how can we discover our weak points in relationship?how can you -diagnose-your-relationship-weak-point?

 

How to discover your weak points in a relationship.

Be a good listener.

In other to discover your weak points in a relationship, you have to be a good listener. Listen more and talk less.

A lot of of us have this trait of assuming that we are right all the time. This trait prevents us from seeing our weak points. Being a good listener helps us to improve in our individual lives. When having a misunderstanding with your spouse/ partner.

Allow him/ her to make his/ her own opinion before doing yours. Perhaps, there might be a flaws  that really needs an adjustment. Listening helps you both to discover these flaws and make an adjustment.

Effective communication

One of the major components of a healthy relationship is communication.

A times, we might be exhibiting a trait which seems right for us, but not for the other person.  Hence the saying. ” one man’s food is another man’s poison.

And you know in relationship, is not just about you. You are equally putting the other party into consideration.

One of the ways to discover your weak points in a relationship is by effective communication.

Unfortunately, most couples resort to giving each other the silent treatment than have a dialogue to resolve their issues amicably.

Discovering your weak points  in a relationship entails having a heart to heart conversation with your partner from time to time. Apparently, there are some characters you exhibit  he/ she doesn’t like and vice versa. If you don’t communicate, you might  not observe it.

Seek for counseling. 

Don’t always assume that everything you do is right, sometimes seek for other people’s counsel.

Your normal habits or attitude might be someone else turn off. You might not recognize this till you open up to others about it just like the story we began with.

There are several offline and online relationship platforms where you can read other people’s experience and learn more.

Never  hesitate in doing that once in a while. Sometimes, you can as well go for counselling from an experience relationship/ marriage counselor.

Just endeavour to  make yourself available for continuous learning. Let other people access you especially when you are having issues in your relationship which might be as a result of your weak points.