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Coping with commitment phobia from a partner.


Commitment phobia in a relationship
Commitment phobia in a relationship


Commitment phobia is one of the major setbacks  and obstacles in a relationship. Especially when there is an anticipation from one or both partners to take the relationship to the next level.

Commitment is very vital in every aspect of life. It is like a pledge to put all your efforts towards attaining a better achievement/ result in your  endeavor. Either a business or in a firm/ organization.

Imagine owing  a company and having a handful of employees.  But unfortunately, they all display nonchalance towards their duty. How  Will you cope with such workers? If allowed for so long, they might end up ruining such organization and the legacy that you labored so hard to build.

Commitment is equally like an investment. We invest because we are certain of the bright and blissful future that awaits us.


Relationship is not an exception in this scenario. A relationship can only be qualified to call one when there is commitment from both sides.  Imagine having a business partner who feels reluctant to put his/ her own effort in the business to ensure its growth. He/ she does nothing to keep the business moving.  You know the most annoying aspect?they still anticipate to enjoy  the profit they never worked for.

They anticipate to reap at the expense of your labor and hard work. This isn’t fair right? Feels like you are being cheated on. This is exactly how it feels dating someone with a commitment phobia. Such relationship is a typical example of a   toxic or parasitic relationship.

Unfortunately, this is what is obtainable in so many relationships today. You keep pushing it to move, anticipating and fantasizing for a future together. Creating and imagining  a beautiful  and awesome picture of your imaginary family with your significant other when they ain’t even thinking or considering such in the nearest future. Such can be so disheartening.

Are you wondering why people  have commitment phobia even when they are with an awesome partner? Here are some of the reasons.

Reasons why people develop  commitment phobia in a relationship.

Financial incapability

This  usually affects men the most.  A lot of men are scared of commitment not really because they don’t value their relationship or their partner, but because they ain’t financially ready to do so.

Commitment comes with a lot of responsibilities . In women’s view and perception, it actually implies the journey towards preparation of marriage.

Hence the reason why most men especially the ones who ain’t financially ready develops phobia to it.  When a man makes a decision to commit, it only implies one thing. He is ready to legalize the union.

Most people develops commitment phobia in a relationship as soon as they’ve lost interest in their partner.  Interest spurs desire. When there is interest, there is always a desire  to make thinks work against all odds.

A man may not be financially capable for commitment. But when there is an intense desire for his partner, he will always make it obvious via other ways like regular communication and affection towards his partner.

Commitment is not only seen in the aspect of finances. If you find yourself walking so fast in the relationship, whereas your partner is dragging his/ her feet and has bluntly refused to walk along with you, it is a great sign that they ain’t ready to commit. They rarely calls,nor return your calls.

They often scare away from having a mutual conversation with you, especially one which has to do with your  future together.

Commitment phobia in a relationship
Commitment phobia in a relationship


You were moving so fast

Most people develops commitment phobia as soon as they realize that their partner is becoming too fast and overly conscious concerning the future of the relationship.

 Defining a relationship from the onset is a good idea,  But being too conscious and consistently   interrogating your partner concerning the  fate and future of the relationship is a big turn off to most folks.  Hence the phobia. Remember you ain’t married yet. There is still a probability that things may not work out, hence the reason why most people prefer things to move gradually and naturally.

When you act desperate or pressurize them, they might begin to pull away.

So how should you handle this?



Patience can only  be adopted when you observe that your partner  has interest in the relationship. For example, they communicate with you often but their only obstacle is financial constraint.

They might not be financially ready yet, but their conversation with you and plans towards the future would give you green light concerning what they actually want from you. If you love them, you can decide to exercise patience with them by giving them a little time till they are financial capable to commit fully.

However, you have to be observant and sensitive  during those time, in case their attitude begins to change towards you. You have to be alert to know when they are beginning to loose interest.


Don’t ignore early signs and warnings. 

Just like was earlier explained, people don’t commit to things they have no interest or desire for. There can only be commitment when there is mutual intention concerning the relationship. When people have commitment phobia, it could mean they’ve lost interest in the relationship.

Consistent nagging and dragging can  only lead to a futile and unproductive effort. Do not force anyone to commit. People can only commit to you only if they foresee  the future with you.

Take things gradually

A man already knows whether or not he has future with you. Pressurizing him to make commitment would only scare him away.

When you begin a new relationship, first dedicate your time towards knowing and understanding each other’s personality and flaws. Work on your flaws, improve on your attitude.

These are the things that will stir his desire  and hasten his plans towards making a commitment . when you spend more time developing yourself, he will realize your worth. And would be scared of loosing you to another. Hence, he will see enough reasons to commit.

-fear-of-committment is common in most relationships. But knowing how to handle it will determine the fate of both parties.




1 thought on “Coping with commitment phobia from a partner.

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