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5 Top secrets that hurts a relationship, Avoid them.

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

There are top secrets that hurts a relationship despite the bond and emotional attachment between both couples. Secrets can be  Toxic to a relationship as it is the leading cause of insecurity and lack of trust.

Keeping secrets is like keeping someone in the cloud and leaving them in suspense.  Such can be devastating and tormenting as it eludes peace and security.

Imagine sharing an apartment with someone who wouldn’t give you any slightest clue of their next action or what they intend to do for the day. Whereas, you open up to them before taking any decision. It feels like you are being cheated and exploited.

Most folks often share their top secrets to people they trust and confide in. Secrets are confidential, we might not share it with everyone.but  We all have that friend we love to confide in.

They could be just a casual friend, but the most important thing is that we trust them and that’s why we feel safe making some personal matters open  to them. If one can confidently share a secret to a casual friend, why would they hesitate doing that with their partner to whom they had professed their undying love for and had probably pledged to spend the rest of their lives  with.

Honestly, this is why must relationship rarely last. Right After the honey moon phase, some relationship Spark wanes off. Because both partner harbor a lot of secrets. They have a lot of skeletons on their cupboards. And these skeletons might turn out  to haunt them in the future  and become a stumbling block towards the growth of the relationship.

Keeping Top secrets that hurts  a relationship is the major reason why most couples  are not emotionally connected with each other.

They are just like sex mates needed to curb and erase sexual urges. And as soon as that aim is achieved, the relationship goes back to its bored nature. It is so disheartening that two unmarried folks in a relationship can boldly  have access to each other’s body. They see nothing wrong with that. But they see everything wrong with accessing one another phone.

They see nothing wrong with accessing the private parts at will, But they see everything wrong with taking each other’s calls when the other party is not accessible to his/ her phone.

There is no password to each other’s body, but there is a password to their mobile phones and social media accounts.

Most people are afraid of break up or divorce, they are scared that after revealing the truth, the relationship might discontinue. But how long do you intend to hide the truth? The truth can never be hidden forever. And you know the worse scenario.

Having your partner/ spouse discover the truth some where down the line  or hearing about it from a third party is going to be more disastrous  than summoning courage to let the cat out of the bag. They will feel betrayed and hurt, and thus may loose their trust in you forever.

The reason for their betrayal wouldn’t be as a result of your past offense . But concealing the truth from them. Honesty and transparency is still the best in every relationship. Let’s look at some top secrets that hurts a  relationship. What are the -secrets-you-should-never-keep-from-your-spouse or partner?

Top secrets that hurts a relationship.

Having a child out of wedlock.

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

Imagine waking up one day only to be told that the woman whom you practically referred to as your ” mother” and  who nurtured you from your infants till your adult stage is not your biological mother. How would you feel on hearing such news . Shocked? Betrayed?  Hurt?  This is the exact scenario here. A lot of single mothers are scared of the rejection and stigmatization that might occur once they make their status known to their intending partner.

Hence they opt to conceal the secret in other to get their potential partner to walk down the isle with them. This kind of decision and attitude can be so risky and disastrous and will likely terminate their relationship if their partner eventually discovers the truth.

How long do you intend hiding such truth from him? You know the popular saying. Nothing is hidden under the soon. Don’t equally forget the fact that the walls have ears. One day they will certainly find out, and trust me, the rejection you will feel thereafter might be greater than the one you anticipated if you were honest with them. Why not open up to them.

If they truly loved you, they will certainly stay. Opening up will help you to be certain of their true intentions and love towards you.

Your source of livelihood

Top secrets that hurts a relationship

This is one Top secrets that hurts a relationship and equally destroys its foundation.

A lot of men are scared of rejection after wooing a lady. So in the bid to boost their Ego and impress their partner, they will claim a status which they are actually not. Now when the lady adjusts with such status quo and then eventually discovers the truth,she might withdraw, thus  upsetting them  and making them assume that  she does not love them, But their money.

But the truth is that they brought it upon themselves by beginning the foundation of their relationship with lies. You can’t just wake up one morning and tell someone you are just a brick layer when they’ve believed and presumed you to be a medical doctor or barrister.

Such truth can never be easily  digested, despite the love and affection. Lies and deceit destroys the foundation of every relationship.

Hiding your financial status, earnings and source of livelihood from your intending partner is a sign of Inferiority complex. You ought to be proud of who you are and what you do for a living. After all, you work for it  and pay your bills without depending on anyone.

You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your profession or career as long as it puts food on your table and pays your bill.

You only need one who truly loves you for who you are and not what you are. So there is really no point lieing over such. This is why you must avoid a materialistic woman.

 

Chronic illness

Top secrets that hurts a relationship
Top secrets that hurts a relationship

This is another top Secrets that hurts a relationship terribly. Concealing a health status from an intending partner for fear of stigmatization and rejection. And then what happens if they eventually finds out?

Do you think such Union will ever last? You need to be transparent over such sensitive issue as this is the best way to ascertain the one who truly loves you and ready to stick by you through thick and thin.

Relationships are all about sacrifices . you don’t need to conceal a sickness. Rather, they should be able to proof their love practically by helping you overcome such challenging moments.

 

Sexual escapades

Top secrets that hurts a relationship

You don’t necessarily have to reveal the number of sexual escapade you had in the past.

It doesn’t matter. However, you should not lie to your partner that you are celibate when you are appararently not. A lot of women lied about their virginity status, and when the truth was later unraveled on their wedding night, that marked the beginning of their marital issues.

You really don’t need to lie about things as such as it wouldn’t guarantee the success of your marriage. Your partner is getting married to you and not your virginity status. So there is no point being deceitful over it.

 

Sexual Abuse or harassment.

Are you currently being abused or harassed by someone you trusted so much?

Concealing such from your partner is a top secrets that hurts a relationship. It can ruin your relationship especially when they finds out,  They will assume you are enjoying the approach you are getting.

And what about having your harassers trying to blackmail you, and turning the truth to their own favour? Why not save your self stress by opening up to your partner .

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 thoughts on “5 Top secrets that hurts a relationship, Avoid them.

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