Do you know that you might be ruining your relationship without knowing? Most times when a relationship fails, both parties often claims the victims, no one accepts being the defaulter, no one wants to take the blame, no one is willing to admit being guilty.
We all want to be assured that we did the right thing, we all want to receive the empathy, we all wish to be sympathized with, we all wish to receive accolades that we are the best, we are scared of taking the responsibility of our actions. But deep down in our hearts, we know we took part in the cause of the break up, deep down we are aware that we contributed toward the break up, if not being totally responsible for it.
And this is why most relationship doesn’t last.
We hardly own up to our faults, even while in the relationship, we hardly admit we have erred. But one thing we fail to understand is thatApology is an antidote to a successful relationship/marriage. Our inability to admit our fault and work towards them always comes back to hunt us in our next relationships. This explains why most folks cannot maintain a stable relationship, you keep running from one relationships to the other with the assumption that you were in the wrong relationship without realizing that you are the one ruining your relationship,
as you kept on repeating the same mistakes on regular basis without making any effort towards working on your flaws. And the next question is what are these negative attitude that signifies that you might be ruining your relationship?
Signs that you might be ruining your relationship.
Inability to control your emotions
Emotions speaks a lot about us, it signifies who we are and what we are capable of doing or not doing.and sometimes we unknowingly react negatively to our emotions which may cause a lot of damage to our lives.
Your ability to control your emotions determines your tendency to either make something out of your life or ruin it.
similarly in relationships, the way you handle your emotion determines how long it would last. a lot of folks had ruined and currently ruining their relationships as a result of jealousy, anger and insecurity. Unnecessary Jealousy had caused a lot of misunderstanding and differences among couples. your significant other received a call from an opposite sex , and out of jealousy you began to suspect him/her and even threatens to call off the relationship without being patient to hear their own side of the story.
How do you react when infuriated? Do you flare up at any slightest provocation?or do you keep calm and allow your emotions to subside before thinking of your next line of action?Anger can push you into an actions which you might end up regretting in life. It is also capable of ruining your Relationship. Being unnecessarily insecure depicts lack of trust for your significant other, and most people detests that. Learn to control your emotions. avoid acting or talking when provoked or angry. If possible walk away and allow the anger to subside, to avoid saying or doing things you might regret later.
one of the greatest quality to adopt in a relationship is understanding. With understanding every other thing follows suit including love. You have to understand that your partner ain’t perfect. you have to understand why they behave in a particular way. And not not behaves like some other persons. such understanding would help you not to compare them with their friends or colleagues.
no one would like to be compared with others, as it reduces one’s worth and may lead to low self esteem and depression. It is always advisable to date someone you truly understands, someone whose character you can curtail so as to avoid ruining your relationship with them in the future.
involving a third party.
Have you formed the habit of always taking your relationship issues to the public, social media or discussing them among your friends and colleagues?Chances are you might be ruining your relationship without knowing. Not every issue is meant to be publicize, you really don’t know who is mocking you as everybody pretends to be nice. But behind the scene, you are being made an object of ridicule. Except you have a trusted friend who you confide in, or a trusted relationship counselor/platform where your identity can be hidden. Do not publicize your relationship issues.as not advise is meant to be taken.
Keeping secrets in relationship a times signifies that you have a skeleton on your cupboard. A good and healthy relationship ought to be transparent as ever. As it depicts trust and understanding.
Imagine getting married to a woman who had a child out of wedlock but hid it from you for so many years of dating and courtship, only to unveil it after marriage. with such secrets.do you think you can still trust her again? Even if you can, it will definitely take a whole lot of time to build that trust again. This shows how Secrets can Ruin a relationship.