Posted on Leave a comment

How to cope in a long distance Relationship

How to cope in a long distance Relationship 1

Distance is one of the inevitable challenges couples tend to face in a relationship, which is capable of destroying their long built intimacy if not handled with great caution . The thought of being separated from each other creates a great void and vacuum in the heart. It becomes so difficult especially with someone you have had great memories with, being in each other’s company and shared things in common. It is just like your world revolves around them because they seems to be present anywhere you are. As the saying goes, out of sight is out of mind, but there is an exception to this statement if the right steps are taken. Some factors which can enable couples cope in a distant Relationship.

1) Communication – communication plays a role factor here . Recent Advance in technology has really made things bit easier and less expensive. Communication mustn’t necessarily be only calls, but chatting via social media which tend to be more convenient and less expensive .With consistent/ regular communication, distance relationship can stand the test of time. Good communication helps to strengthen the bond and rekindle the spark that might have been lost as a result of distance.. By communicating with your partner, you are not just desiring to hear their voice but you are also reassuring them of your unending love towards them which can never be separated by distance. It creates security in the relationship.

2)COMMITMENT – out of sight can never be out of mind for partners who has defined their relationship and are really committed to each other. Being secured about the future, distance seems to be a minor issue for them. On the countrary, partners who are not really into each other, either from one or both partners might tend to separate once distance sets in. The purpose of their relationship might be based on satisfying each other’s sexual needs and once that becomes impossible as a result of distance. The relationship might eventually come to an end because there are no strings attached.

3) TRUST – this is another important factor. Just like the foundation of a house, trust are not just earned but built nurtured and allowed to grow with time before it becomes Relevant. When you create a room for doubt while you are still with each other what makes you think they will trust you when you are apart? .always make your relationship transparent. Avoid anything that will create a room for suspicion in your partner’s mind. There is nothing scary in a distant relationship as having the feeling that your partner might be cheating on you especially if you don’t trust them to well as result of their past escapades. It poses fear and brings about insecurity which tend to destroy the relationship with time. Always give your partner the reason to trust you in order to avoid unnecessary assumption and being paranoid that you might be cheating on them. When actually it might not be the case. If the trust becomes mutual. The relationship and distance will never be a barrier.

Posted on Leave a comment

Neediness and desperation, the most proven source of heart break.

Neediness and desperation, the most proven source of heart break. 2

He has been your crush, you admire everything about him.. His charming looks, masculinity, charisma, talents and sense of humor…you’ve always wished and fantasize to have him close to you…at a point, you began to develop this urge and sudden quest within you to approach him by giving him the signal to woo you but you ignore the thought as that may bruise your ego and pride as a “woman”… Making you more vulnerable to hurt and heartbreak especially if the feelings were not mutual and reciprocated. You then decided to keep calm, and allow nature take its full course.

While praying that your wishes comes to pass. Fortunately, your dreams became a reality, when he finally asked you out.you didn’t think twice before accepting his proposal, after all that was what you’ve been patiently waiting for. The relationship started, but you were still not satisfied… Because you don’t just want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one…you were expectant of a blissful future with him as that was your sole aim of desiring him…but unfortunately, it wasn’t moving well as you wanted. as he had never thought of that or included it in your discussions….

You finally summoned courage to ask him where the future was heading to. His responds indicated that there wouldn’t be any future with you… But the truth was so difficult to accept…you became so desperate, always the one pushing the relationship… While he does nothing to compliment your effort… Your desperation turned into neediness..when he could no longer condone your nagging attitude.. He decided to take a walk… Listen young lady… It is he who finds a “wife” and not she who pursues a “man”….. Stop being clingy and acting desperate all because you want him to put a ring on that finger. Stop making it look as though he is doing you a favour by asking you out and desiring to spend the rest of his life with you…

Live your life, upgrade your self, hold your dignity high, achieve your dreams in life and be an independent woman . I tell you, men will see having you beside them as an opportunity and not a “right”. They will respect you and never take you for granted… Stop pressuring them to commit. If they don’t want to commit, your pressures will amount to being a waste of time and energy.

Posted on Leave a comment

RESOLVING ISSUES IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

RESOLVING ISSUES IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP 3

Issues in relationship are inevitable, it often shows up from time to time,but the approach towards handling it would determine the fate of the relationship. A times, misunderstanding in a relationship can help both partners to understand each other more. We might find it difficult to accept, but that is the fact. However,often times,we allow it to linger for so long because both partners had refused to accept the blame and take proper corrections where necessary.

Everybody wants his/her opinion to be heard. EGO and pride has a major role to play here, this qualities are very unhealthy for a serious and and committed relationship with a predictable future. There are so many ways by which issues can be resolved amicably.

1. ACCEPTING ONE'S FAULT

so many folks finds it extremely difficult to accept their fault,let alone apologize for it. Even when it is very obvious that they have defaulted. Two wrongs they say cannot make a right, if you don't want to destroy the intimacy you have both built and nurtured for long you must put away pride and learn to use the simple word,'sorry'. it does not cost a thing.

2. AVOID THIRD PARTY INTERFERENCE

You must avoid discussing your relationship issues with anyone you meet. Different strokes for different folks. The ways others handle their relationship might be totally different from the way you tend to handle yours. And thus their advise might not correlate with what might be beneficial to you. Moreover,some friends might be envious and jealous and thus try every possible means to see your relationship get destroyed. Because their:s are already heading towards that direction. You have to be careful,not all are truly happy for you.

3. COMMUNICATION

Communication is one of the essential quality of a successful relationship. Do not hide your fears,feelings or whatever that you think that needs to be corrected. Try as much as possible to be transparent to each other. When they offend you,do not bear the grudges in your heart. Let them know,remember that they might not even be aware of it,if you remain mute. always pour out your feelings to each other.

Posted on Leave a comment

How to attract a marriageable spouse.

In life, it is the dream of everyman or woman to succeed in his/ her endeavour, or whatever he/ she actively engages in. No one wants to be tagged a "failure" even if is obvious they had already failed.
However, is rare to find any successful man/ woman who associates with low minded or pessimistic individuals. Their class of friends are usually people who have similar goals, ambitions and interest as they do.

In other words, the motive ought to be mutual. It has to come from from both sides. For the result to be effective. Likewise in relationships/ marriage. In other to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship, you first have to exhibit the characteristics required to have one, For you to be attracted to that special person who have similar qualities with you.

Just like is impossible to achieve success when you associate with people who are the verge of failure. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship when you associate with people who ain't thinking towards that direction.

Here is an illustration.

Claire had always wanted a serious and very committed relationship, which could lead to marriage soon. Fortunately, she met frank few days later. One thing led to another, both fell in love and proceeded towards being more than friends. Contrary to Claire's desire and wish. Frank only wanted a fling with no strings attached. Claire clearly saw the signs in the course of their relationship. But ignored. hoping

That things would get better . but unfortunately it never did. And before you knew what has happened. They both parted ways because they ain't thinking towards the same direction. What can you deduce from this scenario?

The relationship couldn't work out because their individual motives of being in the relationship weren't similar .
Having understood this, let's look out for two essential ways that would enable one ascertain whether or not his/ her partner have the same interest like they do.

1) endeavour to define your relationship at the initial stage- by defining your relationship, you are clearly stating out what you tend to achieve from it in the long run. This will easily help you know your partner's intention and be sure is compatible with yours.

2) look out for early signs- most times, before break up occurs. There might have been some warning signals, but the victims chose to ignore just as was seen in the case of Claire. Who was hoping that things would get better but all to no avail. Do not ignore some early warning signals. It is just an indication that your partner's intention ain't similar with your. He may just want you fun, while you you sincerely want a serious date. It was emphasized even in the scripture. Can two work together except they be in agreement? The simple answer is a big No!!!!

How to attract a  marriageable spouse. 4