Coping with a workaholic Partner is one of the toughest challenge in Every relationship. the feelings could be devastating because they seems to focus more of their attention towards their job. Getting their attention seems almost like an impossible task as their job seems like their priority.
And that may trigger your doubt towards their love for you. You cant have a good conversation with them, without having them bring their work in the picture. You keep wondering if they have any value for you, or is it all about their job?
I understand this feelings, and a lot of us have been there at one point or the other. However, before going further, here is a short story to illustrate the experience.
Anie met stanley few months ago, thier relationship was awesome until stanley got a job in a telecommunication company.
He was one of the customer care representative,,and that meant he had to be always active and regular In delivering his service of attending to his customers. Ever since he started the job, Annie observed a great change in their relationship. He became so cold and distance. Each time she tried to complain about it, his respond was always centred on his job.
He had apologized severally with the promise of changing for better, but rather his attitude grew worse. On several occassions He had promised to return her calls as soon as he closes from work, but never did.
Annie felt bad, stanley tried to explain how his job had been demanding and wouldnt give him the chance to be with her, but instead she continously nagged him for his negligence and lack of attention towards her emotional need.
Stanley soon became tired of her insensitivity and constant nagging. And in other to save his peace and sanity they broke up mutually. Now what could you deduce from this scenario?especially with the attitude of Annie? Even though Annie was right about her complaint, she went about it in a wrong way .
There is absolutely nothing wrong with complaining about your partner’s lack of attention and busy schedules. But the way is being handle will determine the fate of the relationship. If handled correctly or maturely, there may be adjustement in your partner’s end. But if reverse is the case, you may end up pushing them farther away.
Here are some proven method to cope with a workaholic partner.
understand the nature of his job.
Any relationship where one or both partners lack understanding between each other would never last.
And that was with the case of Annie. She wasn’t wrong by demanding for attention and seeking for explanation towards stanley’s negligence. But she was insensitive about it. You’ve drawn their attention towards it right? Good!!! Then give them time to adjust. Dont draw your conclusions yet. They might not be happy neglecting their primary responsibility in the relationship,
but most times, they cant help it. Understand that his job is too demanding. Understand the fact that his job is eqaually as important as the relationship and need not to be neglected too . Remember they have their responsibility to take care of too. This job sustains them, it is the source of their livelihood.
Encourage them and give them time to re-adjust especially if they are just starting up new, instead of being insensitive and self centered as that could ruin the chances of having him change for the better.
Avoid nagging him.
Nagging is a wrong way to handle a workaholic partner. But unfortunately, so many are ignorant about this.
No matter how good you are, nagging is a big turn off to anyone. nobody loves to be nagged. nobody loves to be pressurized to do something, even if they have the intention of doing it in the first place.
Nagging is like acting bossy towards another and nobody cherishes that. Nagging doesnt just make you appear needy and clingy. but also makes your partner see you as a threat to their peace and sanity, hence the need to avoid you more.
Get busy too.
One of the best way to cope with a workaholic partner is to have your mind occupied.
You know why you are always whining about your workaholic partner, is partly because your mind is less occupied. Dont neglect other vital aspect of your life. Get busy too. he needs to miss your absence too, he needs to feel that void you are feeling. and that wont be possible if you are always over him, nagging every now and then and freaking out or getting paranoid for not texting you, messaging you or paying attention towards your emotional need.
if you suddenly get busy with Your life, that will arouse his curiosity that he will begin to wonder what you’ve been up to. no matter how busy he is, he will try as much as possible to adjust his busy schedules in order to have your attention.
Trust me, i’ve once experience this,and it works perfectly. There is this saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder. people value things which are less unavailable more than things which are always available.
Sometimes, your neediness might be chocking him and that could be the reason for always using his job as an exuse even when he can easily adjust. Give him that space and i bet you he will be the one seeking for your attention. Except otherwise he has lost interest. And there is no other to ascertain his interest status in the relationship than getting busy and giving him space. With that, you can conclude on what next to do.
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