Understanding your spouse takes a lot of patience, hard work and a times humility. This is because human attitude and personality varies with individual. No matter how emotionally attached you are to your partner or spouse, your personal attitude still varies.
Even identical twins who shared same placenta in the womb does not possess similar individual characteristics, let alone people who are not related by blood.
You might be compatible emotionally, but having the similar qualities in every aspect is so rare. And this lack of understand is what kills a lot of marriage and relationship. It is the reason why so many homes are not living in peace despite their Long period of courting, and successful relationship.
After courting and dating successfully They got married only to discover that every character exhibited during the dating or courting days were not real. It was all scripted with the intention of attracting each other. Reality begin to dawn on them when they realized that they had no understanding of each other.
So many people can’t stop wondering why their partner or spouse behaves weird a times. Today they are in good mood, tomorrow, they are all up with mood swings.
They tried every possible means to know what is actually eating them up. But got no reply. The absence of reply indicates that everything was alright.Yet their behavior seems unusual.
I don’t seems to understand my hubby says a young woman who had been battling to save her marriage.
His unexpected mood swings and unusual behavior keeps me off balance.
The more i tried to understand him, the more confused i became. She is not alone on this, a handful of other are undergoing similar experiences. Many couples claim they are in love with each other and are maintaining a happy marriage, yet seems not to understand each other.
Understanding your spouse involves a whole lot, ranging from knowing their emotional needs, physical needs, understanding their mood swings, love languages and being sensitive. We would discuss all the aforementioned as that will give a clear knowledge in the topic “understanding your spouse”
Four factors that are essential in understanding your spouse.
knowing their emotional needs.
Every human has an emotional needs, and that includes the needs to feel loved, cherished and appreciated. even an infant desires to be loved and cared for by the parents.
And when he/she doesn’t get that attention, they begins to feel unease hence the need to cry and disrupt their parent’s activity. similarly, human adult also yearns to have their emotional needs satisfied. And the best way to understand your spouse emotional need is to know theEmotional differences in men and women. The way a man tends to react to emotions a times differs from women.
For women emotional need, Attention usually tops the list. While for men, it is usually intimacy. Even if you give your woman the world, get her the most expensive car, fill her ward robe with lots of clothes and accessories, but doesn’t give her attention, she may not value your kind gestures. she won’t be a complete woman without having you by her side occasionally.
Being sensitive to know when she is in the right mood or not. On the contrary, men are fascinated more by intimacy. For married couples, understand when your hubby is in the mood for sex.this lack of understanding is the leading course of so many problems in most marriages today.
Some men will be like “but i provide everything she needs, and i make sure she lacked nothing. Why then does she behaves weird? what about your presence?does she get your attention when she needs it? do you spend more time with her?don’t you think this could be the reason why she is acting weird? she may not communicate this too your verbally, she might expect you to read her mind. but since you are not a mind reader, effective communication Will solve the problem.
Similarly, It is quite unfortunate that most women assumes that the only way to perform their marital duty is by taking care of the home and preparing a delicious meal for their hubby? they are all good, but what about knowing when he is in the mood for intimacy?
while do you always give excuses?this could be the reason why he often acts wired despite performing your assumed wifely responsibilities.
we ought to know that physical need is not complete without the emotional need. your gift and services are all important,but your presence speaks more and can never be substituted for any other thing. Stop being too busy for your spouse. it kills a relationship. Learn How to balance your life and goals.
As human, we all have our physical need. for women, their physical needs can always be met by satisfying their material quest and making sure they are comfortable. while for men, it is all about helping them to render one service or the other.
Physical needs are important as emotional needs and therefore shouldn’t be neglected too. professing your love to a woman who isn’t being taken care of properly is an error. have you ever wondered why your wife isn’t responding to your sensitive touches? You yell at her for being cold at you during love making, rather than communicate with her to know what is actually wrong.
Perhaps there might be something she urgently needs at that moment. And because she doesn’t want you to see her as a nag, she kept mute, hoping you will understand. on the other hand, a man’s need goes beyond emotional need or intimacy. There are times, when he may need your assistance. Gifts are not meant to be given only by the male folks. You can as well surprise him during his birthday, or any special events.
Understanding your spouse entails learning how to express your heart felt commitment to your spouse via the love languages. The five love languages are receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch.
knowing when to give each other gifts, spend quality time with each other, reassure each other of your love, render services to each other and be intimate with each other is a good way of showing commitment.
understanding your spouse equally entails being sensitive to their moods. a lot of couples are living like strangers because they can’t detect each other’s mood. you don’t have to wait for your spouse to communicate to you verbally. Sometimes you can always tell their mood from their countenance and sudden change in behavior. men often hide their feeling a lot as a result of their egocentric nature and in the course of that,often finds it difficult to confide in their wife when they are passing through hide times. Without being sensitive, you may not understand his mood. Which might lead him to wallow in self pity and depression.