How can we stop constant argument? Is arguing with your spouse a natural part in a relationship?This is one of the common questions married couples or folks in a committed relationship are seeking for an answer to. And a problem which seems to have defiled solution.
Arguments are common trait in human especially as it relates to our inter personal relationship with others. It is an evitable trait as long as communication is concerned. Siblings argue almost all the time,friends argue at one point or the other.
So relationship and marriages are not an exception too. With the variations in our individual reasoning and understanding, is almost impossible to eliminate argument as part of our communication.because we all have this intense desire to have our opinions heard and accepted. So in that case arguments are inevitable, as long as human co-existence is concerned. It is normal. However, when the arguments becomes habitual, then is no longer normal . It becomes a problem which calls for urgent attention.
Some relationships and marriage are at the verge of collapsing because both couples often argue, any conversation automatically turns to argument, you can hardly differentiate between their conversation from their misunderstanding. Because they can’t hold a reasonable conversation without having it end with an argument. Such argument can easily lead to unending fights, which in turn may result to break up or divorce.
Now the question is how can this constant argument be eliminated? we can’t think about eliminating them without first considering its causes.
Causes of constant argument in a relationship
Ego is the leading cause of constant argument in a relationship. When one or both couples begins to feel superior over the other, apologizing would always be difficult because nobody will like to accept his/her fault.
For fear of being regarded as a weak person or to be taken for granted. Such kind of relationship usually doesn’t work, because both couples value their Ego more than their union. and so would always find reasons to argue constantly rather thanResolve their isssues amicably.
As human, we argue a lot because we always have an intense desire to talk more but listen less.
We are always in a hurry to release our opinions and hence this often leads to argument because the other parts desires to have his/her opinion heard too. a relationship where everyone talks but no one wants to listen to what the other person has to say is bound to experience constant arguments. This arguments a times leads to fight.
Lack of respect
when people don’t respect their spouse or partner. they will always argue in every slightest provocation.
for women with Ego or womenn who regards themselves as feminist, they will always argue or talk back at their husband whenever they are being corrected.
And when this repeatition of speech becomes intense, argument becomes inevitable.
Ways to stop constant arguments in a relationship.
Both partners should learn How to curb EGO
The absence of Ego indicates the absense of pride. The absence of Ego indicates the presence of respect, humility and forgiven spirit.
when partners value each other more than their Ego, no issues can make them argue consistently. arguing once in blue moon can be understantable, but arguing regularly will be an impossible trait.
When partners sees each other as equal irrespective of age, qualification or size. EGO would be far from them .
using the silent method
When i say silent method, i don’t mean using the silent treatment to punish your spouse.
i am talking about using silent method to maintain peace and order. there is a popular adage that goes thus “when everyone is talking, no one is talking. This implies that when you are both trying to make your opinion or voice heard without calming down to hear what the other has to say. it then implies that nobody is making sense.
You can’t both reach a compromise when you argue a lot. Not every word is meant to be replied. if your partner’s countenance has automatically changed while they were still talking, it will be better to allow them finish what they have to say. Don’t try to interrupt them.
As this often prolongs the issue. You can always come back to address the issue when they are calm.that would be the best time to get their audience and undivided attention.
Respect each other.
For constant argument to be eliminated, there is a need to respect each other. Women should Change their mindset about submission by learning what Submission actually implies especially in marriage,and how they can be submissive.
Practicing feminism in the wrong way and with the wrong mindset should stop.
Men should equally learn to respect their woman.irrespective of the gender variations.
They should always remember that their wives are not a commodity but their best friend and companion.
They should talk to them politely and correct them in love. Rather than yell and scream which may result to arguments or nags.