Most common marital problems that arise in marriage can be attributed to negligence.
Just like dating, marriage is filled with its own challenges. Being fortunate enough, to eventually end up with your long time partner can be a dream come true and filled with excitements. However, there are still lots of challenges ahead as the marital journey begins.
long courtship guarantee successful marriage. Marriage is like an institution with diverse courses. You have to choose a course you both can perfectly fit into. The course that is well understood by both spouses, this is why every marriage comes with its own formulas and techniques, no marriage is the same what is applicable to one might be quite different from what is applicable to the other. When both couples understand this very concept, they will quit comparing their marriage to others and start sticking to their own formulas.
These formulas depends solely on the couples specifications and interest, this is why you shouldn’t compare your marriage to another.
This articles is not specifically meant for married couples, but singles intending to settle down soon. Every singles need to know that even the healthiest and most successful marriage can encounter challenges from time time, and that the presence of marital issues shouldn’t signal the end of marriage
However, Understanding the dynamics of marriage will enable you cope with common marital problems when they surface.
So what are these marital problems and how can couples cope with them?
10 common marital problems and how to handle them.
1. Poor communication.
Right from the days of dating, communication should be a key factor. People who find it difficult to communicate should have no business ending up as couples because they will hardly reach up to an agreement.
Communication stirs up the bond in marriage, the more you communicate, the more you understand your spouse, and get to know why they behave in a certain way, rather than having an assumptions in your head, you will get to know whether or not some of their actions are intentional, you will always assume that your wife is a nag, not until you communicate with her and find out why she nags.
You will always think that your man is mean and so difficult to deal with, not until you communicate and find out what may be eating them up.
You will always assume that your hubby is cheating on you as a result of his absent mindedness and loss of focus during mutual discussions, not until you communicate and may discover that they are having bad times at their work places.
Some couples started with good communication skills, but along the line, these communication began to decline. They will rather resort to silent treatment than talk about issues and settle it amicably, and this makes the matter more complicated. Poor communication skills can still be handled by communication. The willingness of both to talk about this can bring about a positive change. The affected couple should find the best time when his or her partner will be in a good mood, so as to bring up the matter.
2. Financial issues.
This is one of the leading common marital problems in so many marriages today. The issues of sharing financial responsibilities/splitting bills, Issues of who should support more. The head of the family(man)? Or the woman who earns more?
If these issue arises somewhere in the marital journey, both needs to bring down their EGO and have a mutual dialogue. However, it is an error to settle down with someone without first having sensitive discussion with them in various aspects of life especially as it is relates to finances and how to handle them. These are one of the mandatory discussions couples should have during courtship to ascertain their level of compatibility before walking down the isle.
3. Home management issues.
One of the common marital problems is the issue of managing career and home simultaneously.
A man is officially the head of a family, and his primary role is centered on financial provision and protection for the family. While a woman’s primary role is to take care of the home, and support a man financially if capable, and when the need arises.
However, issues can arise when a woman is workaholic in nature and finds it difficult to handle both her career and home adequately. Most men will feel a bruise on their Ego if they take up the role, and most career driven women won’t succumb to the idea of quitting their jobs to become a full house wife.
This is one of the biggest issue in marriage and can be curbed by mutual understanding between both parties. It takes two to tango. For a marriage to be successful, there should be willingness to sacrifice and compromise when necessary. If the job is too demanding, the woman should work on saving her home first while looking for other alternatives.
Family is the most important unit in a society and shouldn’t be compromised for anything. In a situation whereby the job is needed on both parts for the sustainability of the home, it is required that all hands should be on deck for the convenience of both. Supporting each other is necessary at this point to achieve a better home.
4. Financial management issues.
Having a partner who is extravagant and can’t manage resources well is one of the most common marital problems. It can be mental draining while trying to accomplish a dream, and you have a partner who does nothing but to demand incessantly and spend so much on frivolities.
Love can’t do so much when it comes to this aspect. The one who works so hard to accomplish a dream usually feels it more. This is why it’s necessary to have an in depth knowledge on whom you are about to settle with before walking down the isle. When you observe that they are materialistic in nature, take to your heel otherwise the effect will have a toll on you somewhere in the future.
A times, the issue might not be getting married to an extravagant partner, but inflation and outrageous hike in the cost of goods, making it difficult to manage resources. However, the best remedy to this is to have a mutual communication with your partner. You both need to reach a compromise on how to cut down on your standard of living. Scale of preference should be drawn. Spend more on basic needs. This is where having an understanding partner is crucial.
5. Intimacy.
One may ask,How can this be among the common marital problems? Sexual compatible is very essential in marriage and at such requires to be given adequate attention to. Loss of sexual attraction can lead to infidelity, hence the reason why couples need to keep spicing up their relationship every now and then in other to rekindle the spark.
Another issue lies on knowing the best time to make love,so you don’t starve them sexually. One may have a high libido, while the other a low libido.
Unfortunately, most marriages suffer as a result of this reason. A lot of married couples have come to complain on how their spouse haven’t made love to them for weeks or months with the excuse of being exhausted after having a hectic day. Imagine one being in the mood, while the other just wanna doze off. The one at the receiving end feels more embarrassed and hurt.
The more couples refrain from love making, the more distance they will grow apart. It’s essential to talk about this in other to strike a balance. Pick a convenient time when both of you will be free and in the mood. You need a peaceful mind, otherwise the sex will be less exciting.
6. EGO.
EGO is one of the most common marital problems which often time have led to irreconcilable differences.
Some marriages would have been successful if simple words like “I’m sorry”. Please, is often used. Unfortunately, these words seems so difficult to some people.
They would rather ghost their partner than or resort to silent treatment than apologize for their wrongs. It becomes worse when both are Egoistic.
Nobody wants to listen to each other, everyone wants to have their opinion heard and adhered to, notwithstanding the effect it might poss on their marriage. How to handle an Egocentric partner can be worrisome and mentally draining.
However, marriage is a sacrifice. One person must realize that EGO does nothing but to destroy the effort you invested in building your relationship together, with time, the other party will adjust.
7. boundary issues.
Healthy boundaries need to be maintained in marriage as the absence of that signals one of the most common marital problems.
There should be a limit to your friendship with the opposite sex. You shouldn’t give room for suspicion. Whatever association you have with your colleagues at work should strictly remain business, and at your work place, avoid subjecting your partner to a position they will always feel insecure.
Even while hanging out with your fellow guys or women, don’t always table out your marriage issues for them. People can’t ruin what they don’t know.
8. Parental upbringing.
For couples with kids already, training the kids by both parent can be challenging especially when they are raised with different mindset and backgrounds.
While one parent might love to be soft with the kids, the other might prefer using different forms of disciplinarian methods in raising them, hence, leading to disagreements.
9. Entitlement mentality.
No one goes into marriage to build others, while living him or herself behind. We all love benefit, and that is why a healthy relationship is not parasitic in nature but symbiotic.
Having a spouse who feels entitled to everything even at the expense of your own happiness is detrimental to ones mental health.
Marriage is all about work and mutual effort. It should be a win together or a loose together situation. Talk to your partner and let them see from your own point of view. It shouldn’t always be about them. The plural “us” should be used often more than “i”.
10. Infidelity.
A common marital problem that may have defied every solution. People who cheat on their married partner do that because they have failed to acknowledge the fact that their spouse ain’t the best, but because they chose them among the rest, they should be considered as the best to them.
