Knowing how to deal with Anger and resentment in a relationship is one of the basic steps in building a Healthy relationship.
Anger is a weapon which is capable of destroying a lot in seconds or minute. It is an emotional trait which has landed a lot of people in life time misery as a result of reacting so quickly without giving it a second thought.
Most times, people indulge in so many negative vices. A lot of people find themselves doing what they never thought they could do as a result of anger.
And before they realized what had happened, an irreversible damage had occurred. We’ve often heard of stories of two siblings or friends who fought each other, and out of anger, one out of them murdered the other. Such kind of scenarios equally happens in relationship which is our main focus. If one or both parties are hot tempered, there is every tendency that one of them might react out of anger. Thereby endangering the other.
Anger is a Red flag in any relationship. It becomes worse if both parties has anger issues as two wrongs cannot make a right.
We don’t have any right to natural flaws like anger since some people were created that way. but it is our choice to decide weather to live with it or make changes. The decision lies in our hand. And the earlier we learn how to control our emotions, the better. As it would save us a whole lot of stress and misfortunes.
now the question is, how can we curb Anger and Resentment in a relationship.
Dealing with Anger and resentment in a relationship.
Love alone does not keep a relationship. No matter how deep your love for each other is, when there is no understanding, this love would fade away in a twinkle of an eye. You can attract each other with love. But you can only keep each other with understanding.
Relationship is all about tolerance, And what makes this tolerance possible is understanding. We can’t change them, neither can can we have them perfect. But we can only influence them with understanding and tolerance.
There is always a flaw in every individual. In a scenario where he’s /her’s is Anger, you have to learn how to adapt with them. When you observe he often flares up at any slightest provocation, gets infuriated by any little things or gets provoked easily.
The best to do is to keep calm.understand that This is his nature, get used to the fact that you can’t change him by yelling back at him. your attitude of keeping calm and being silent when he is provoked might influence him to change for better.
Walk away when situation are becoming too intense.
There is nothing wrong with arguing with each other once in a blue moon. It is part of the understandable aspect of a relationship.
However, when this argument has suddenly become so intense to the point of insulting and abusing each other, then there is always need to pause and walk away.
As any further action or delay might spur you to react negatively out of anger. From abusing each other, it can suddenly graduate to threatening each other with life threatening objects such as weapons. This is exactly how so many marriages ended. With the wife or hubby spending their life time in jail for allegedly murdering their spouse.
Anger and resentment in a relationship is really a monster and can be curbed if one or both parties learns to ignore the other when provoked rather than react to proof their worth.
So many couples are so busy with their career that the only time they have for each other is during love making. They have no time to chat and discuss like partners. They live as housemates rather than couples.
They don’t have time to analyze each other’s character in other to find out where they needed an adjustment.
The best way to deal with anger and resentment in a relationship is to have a heart to heart conversation about it. The affected partner should pour out his/her feeling toward his partner’s anger attitude. Both should discuss about each other’s flaws and find a way to curb it individually.
As you have communicated with them about their anger flaws, the next step is to be patient with them. Quitting a flaw or addiction is not always easy, is a gradual process. Don’t expect them to change overnight. just give them time to do that.
Portray a good character
There is this popular adage Good character calms the heart. Sometimes the best antidote toward your partner’s resentment is by portraying a good character . What do you do when they are provoked? Nag or yell back? you are only worsening the situation . You can easily calm them down by finding a way to please them. Either by preparing their best dish or getting their best gift.