Have you been ghosted by a partner? Such feelings can inflict an untold pain in any individual. It is so devastating. Your relationship was awesome, you can hardly go a day without checking up on each other. Your communication was so effective in such that the absence might signal anxiety and self imposed fear.
All of a sudden, they stopped calling you, they stopped chatting. They became so cold, distant and unavailable. Even when you try to do that, is either you are completely ignored or you get a cold and brief response. You attempt to visit, they keep giving you one and thousands excuses just to scare you away.
They just disappeared out of the blues leaving you in the cloud. You keep wondering what you did or what went wrong. No closure, no explanation or at least an opportunity to apologize in case you erred unknowingly or did something to them unintentionally. They just backed out completely leaving you pondering if the relationship is over.
A lot of folks had gone trough this phase or currently undergoing it at the moment. No matter how strong, skillful or competent you are, rejection sucks and kills one’s esteem/ ego. Being ghosted by a partner makes you assume you ain’t good enough for the one giving you such rejection.
The feeling is better expressed than experience. And you know the worse? There is no form of explanation to ascertain the reason behind their actions. This makes it more unbearable and difficult for the victims to accept the reality.
But would you blame them? We all desire to have a closure at one point or the other. It is human to naturally seek for reason behind certain issues or attitude portrayed by people as it helps to calm our nerves and relieve the curiosity in us.it also a sign of respect signifying that someone values you and the time you once spent together as couple.
But unfortunately, people at the giving end have a different perception. Sometimes they ghost you because they lack the courage to confront you that that they want to take a walk. So by ghosting, they will save themselves the stress of being confronted with unnecessary dramas by their partner and making a whole lot of explanation, including the closure they are seeking for.
Nevertheless, We all hate to be ignored, that’s why we often ask for closure. But when this closure is not forth coming, we get pissed off and emotionally wrecked.
The scenario is likened to getting a rejection mail after applying for a job despite your qualification. You won’t just feel bad because you weren’t successful, you will also be curious to know the reason why you were rejected despite your competency.
However, seeking for closure might make you hung up there forever. Getting stuck with the rejections and emotions. Yet without any explanation. You really need to get out from that state of depression by learning how to handle the trauma associated with being ghosted by a partner.
How to handle being ghosted by a partner.
Accept the reality.
Sometimes in life, we have to accept some facts that we can’t possibly erase and being ghosted by a partner is one of them.
This is the first step in Handling rejection such situations. But unfortunately, it is quite difficult. sucks, We just wished to wake up and discover that everything was just a night mare. We often fight to get our sanity back because it seems we are loosing it at that moment.
However, you have to understand that moving on and recovering from any misfortunes in life which may include loss of loved one, failure in business and loss of job. first begins with embracing the fact that it has happened and you can’t reverse it. loosing a loved one to a cold hands of death can be devastating. Some people never get to heal till they accept the fact that they would never see such person again. Embracing the reality gradually enables them to absorb the shock and also aid their healing process.
So you have to Accept you’ve been ghosted for real and not some sort of night mare. That will give you an insight to ascertain the next action to take.
Avoid bugging them with calls.
One of the common things majority of us do after being ghosted by a partner is bugging them with calls, text messages and incessant pleas to come back to us. this is a bad idea and may derail any chances of having them back again.
But most times, we just can’t help it as our emotions seems to be taking its toll on us at that moment. Our brain knows this is not right, but our emotions just want to be in charge. Is our duty to stop it from taking control of the situation. Easy right??? Hell no!!!
Everyone knows this is a way difficult. each time you see them online, your heart skips and you wonder who they are chatting with that they couldn’t even notice your presence. In as much as it is difficult, you have to try. Exert the same energy they are using on you.
When you call, chat or email them and get a cold or no response. How do you feel? More rejected and hurt right?? The more you call and plead, the more you get rejected, hence making you feel more bad and worthless.
Why not stop all this attitude. It makes them think you are a psycho. Maybe, just maybe, they will reach out to you when you stop pestering them.
Use the Reverse psychology. ghosted by your partner? You have to use the reverse psychology. This works out mostly for people who might still be in love with you, but began withdrawing as a way to manipulate you emotionally and boost their Ego.
Most people do this Especially when they discover that you are head over heels in love with them.
They just want to exercise their supremacy in other to feel relevant. I just wish you would learn to understand these category of folks. Then you will feel less bothered as soon as they begin to ghost you.
Complaining and nagging is a way to show them that you are vulnerable. But ignoring them and acting like you don’t care will most definitely get to them.