To bond on a first date, you first have to understand the effects of bond to a new relationship and how it increases the chances of having to identify a healthy relationship where love and trust is the true basics and utmost priority.
And so you can’t hold your excitement as your long anticipated desire has turned to be a reality. You’ve been crushing on them for a while, and you’ve been so skeptical trying to woo her as a man or give her some green lights as a woman in other to notice you . Fortunately, they finally accepted your proposal. Your next worry was how to keep the spark burning, so you don’t loose them.
It is not uncommon for couples who were once into each other to fall out of love. Most times, one of the reason could be attributed to the absence of bond in the relationship. Sounds weird right? How possible is that? Yes it is very possible, intimacy shouldn’t be misinterpreted as love, two people can be in a relationship, having fun every now and then, displaying every romantic gestures, but have no bond.
One of the ways to identify such relationship is that any little misunderstanding or differences is usually accompanied with break up. There’s no room for reconciliation, and it becomes easy to part ways .
Every phase of a relationship is important, but the honey moon phase seems to be the most exciting and crucial stage. This is the stage where both parties becomes acquainted with each other and grows fond of each other .
The euphoria and ecstasy at this stage is usually at the climax, as everyone seems to be conscious of making each other happy and doing things that will ensure the progress of the relationship. But unfortunately, in spite all this, some relationship still fall apart. What could be the reason behind that?
Why do we still loose spark after the honeymoon phase?
1. Absence of bond.
It is easier to forget the memories that once kept you excited in the relationship when there’s no bond.
Have you observed some couples who broke up either in relationship and marriage, and that was the end, everyone went their separate ways and acted like nothing happened. Both even went ahead to date others immediately after the break up.
On the contrary, have you observed some couples who broke up couple of weeks, months or even years? yet find it difficult to erase each other memories. Though apart, yet can’t easily date or get married to others. This is a typical example of relationships with strong bonds.
So why bond on a first date? Why is it so important and how would it increases the life span of the relationship.
Importance of bond on a first date.
1. It builds connection.
Attraction isn’t the same as connection. You can meet someone today, get attracted by their physique, become infatuated with them, misinterpreting that as love, and as soon as you begin to date them, boredom emerges, you”ll no longer see that relevance and spark you once saw in them. Especially if those attributes are no longer present.
This is what attraction is all about. It feeds the physical mind. Whilst, connection entails loving beyond physical attributes.
You love them because you can’t even explain why, you have a lot in common with them, they are not perfect but they seems compatible with you on various aspects.
Your values aligns and reasoning seems to be in the same direction. While, attraction feeds the physical, connection feeds the mind. That’s why you can’t easily grow apart.
2. it builds friendship.
Friendship is very crucial in a relationship, and to bond on a first date, friendship is very necessary.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other, what matters is that you’re getting along with each other, even though you just met .
When there’s no friendship in a relationship, both couples live with each as housemate in marriage, and are only connected by intimacy..
In relationship, there’s always a consciousness to portray a right behavior from both parties, leading to pretense.
Friendship erases all that. You are free with each other, free to express yourself without the fear of being misunderstood.
You’re just being you. You don’t see the intimate part of the relationship, but the fun part, you can play together, gist together and vibe together, irrespective of your age differences and societal backgrounds. With such free mind with each other, the relationship is meant to last longer because no one is pretending.
3. it builds security and trust.
One of the most toxic form of relationships is insecure relationship. Insecure relationship can drain people mentally. It is an error being in a relationship where every move and activities are questioned, it is mentally frustrating. And such is the reality for relationships with no bond from the start. You’re just like strangers trying to understand each other, but the more you try to, the harder it becomes.
4. it ensures longevity of a relationship.
Familiarity they say breeds contempt. So many relationship break apart as soon as familiarity sets in. Some people often get bored as soon as they start getting used to each other, while you may think that creating space will help How to rekindle the spark in a relationship.
So How can bond be established on a first date?
what are some tips for a successful first date?
1. Don’t rush into a relationship.
Meeting someone who seems to be your your spec in every aspect and having urge to date them immediately can be so tempting.
However, no matter how tempting it is, take it slow with them. Getting to know each other would ignite the chemistry, whilst rushing everything can make you loose attraction as soon as intimacy sets in.
When you take your time to understand each other, you will observe some flaws you can deal with and those you can’t condone so you don’t end up with a total strangers.
2. Don’t initiate intimacy yet.
To bond on a first date, intimacy should be the least of your priority. Unfortunately, a lot of people believe in this myth that intimacy creates bond.
This can only be true for couples who have established a long term platonic friendship and looking forward towards a lasting union.
Intimacy can never create bond for two lovers who barely know each other but just glued by intimacy. In other words, when you see couples who have lasted for quite some time. Their bond wasn’t established by intimacy but long term friendship.
3. Mutual interest.
Before you can think of establishing bond on a first date, there should be mutual interest, mutual interest entails, having similar values, goals and life perception.
A typical illustration is this. You want a long term relationship whilst they just want a fling , you love them for who they are, whilst they love you for what they benefit from you. Bonds can never be established in this type of relationship, but rather frustrations. Diverse intentions will always lead to diverse results. You first have to find out their intentions before thinking of creating bond.
4. Transparency.
Bonding with someone entails being free around them, and such can only be possible when there’s openness . To bond on a first date, both parties must make up their mind to be honest and transparent with each other. Confiding and trusting each other even with their deepest secret.
Couples who do this have a tendency of building a strong bond that can never be broken by any circumstance, because they’ve gone so extreme in each other’s life.
Emotional attachment.
To create bond on a first date. Emotional attachment needs to be established. How can it be established? By effective communication. The more you communicate often, the more you long for each other’s company, thereby creating a very strong bond and connection.
Another way of establishing emotional connection is by having great adventures together that could spark up unforgettable memories. Adventures like going out on a date, vacation, dinner, and other exclusive places that can stir up memories.
