Moving on from an Ex you still love can seem like a rocket science. The End of a relationship does not always signal the end of feelings, especially for relationships where both parties separated not because they fell out of love, but because they had to separate due to unforeseen circumstances and in some cases, sensitive issues like genotype, tribal differences can become an obstacle to a beautiful love story, resulting to unintentional mutual separation.
It is quite disheartening that even in the case of serious commitment like marriage, some folks are still stuck with their Ex memories, which tends to pose a negative effect on their marriage.
Moving on from an Ex you still love won’t be possible, if you don’t find out why you’re still stuck with your Ex in the first place, after several years of break up.
Reasons why you are still stuck with your ex..
1. Rushing into Relationship immediately after break up.
Apparently, some people assumes that rebound relationship is the best antidote for the hurts and heartache that emerges right after a break up, and so in the bid to heal faster, they resort to finding a substitute to fill in the vacuum that was left behind. However, while it may seem like a best idea, it is actually not as it is often filled with so many regrets. One of the Dangers of rebound Relationship is that you’ ll end up comparing your Ex to your new lover. Nothing ever seems perfect with them as long as they ain’t the real image in your picture and fantasies.
This could lead to more frustrations. The more expectant you’re to have them behave like you’re ex, the longer your heart break lingers. It’s best to allow your heart heal, so you can ascertain the meaning of your feelings.
2. BEING IN DENIAL OF REALITY.
Some are yet to accept the reality that is right before them, the reality that the relationship is over, the reality that their ex has moved on, and they need to do the same. Hence, they keep being optimistic, hoping that their Ex would realize how much they’ve missed them and maybe return back to rekindle the spark . This assumption and anticipation often leads to seeking for help and validation in every dating and relationship platform, and equally in diabolic places like spell casters, as a result of desperation to have an Ex back.
3. stalking an Ex.
Stalking an Ex is a common act, we are all guilty about this at one point or the other as an average human is filled with curiosity. However, when it turns to a consistent habit it becomes an addiction. which will consume your daily activities and affect your mental health. Always being eager to know about your Ex’s daily life will trigger moments of sadness and frustration.
As soon as you find out that they’re seeing someone else or have enhanced greatly in their career, you will feel miserable. Not like you don’t want their growth, but the fact that they are doing just fine without you, ain’t feeling depressed or mourning just as you Such feelings will always strike heavily in your heart causing a deep sense of loss and frustration. You”ll begin to wonder if they had ever loved you as they claimed or even cherished the memories you shared in the course of the relationship.
3. You’re trapped by your emotions and feelings.
Moving on from an Ex will remain an impossible task to accomplish if you’re more concerned about the emotions you feel, rather than the reality set before you.
Apparently, you know you weren’t meant to be in that relationship. You know you aren’t meant for each other, the unequivocal energy, emotional, physical and domestic abuse you receive from them says it all, but then, your feelings seems to over cloud your sense of reasoning.
All you keep thinking about is their sexual prowess, muscular body, nice curvy stature, pretty face and other physical attribute. This can make you stuck with them forever, unless you retrace your mind back to reality, understand the reason for the break up and accept the fact that you weren’t meant to be.
4. Wrong motives of being with another.
Moving on from an Ex can be tedious for married people or folks who are in a serious relationship because they got into that marriage or relationship with the wrong motive.
There was no love chemistry or whatsoever, they were after the benefits, and once this benefits had been achieved, their emotional needs became starved, after all they are human with feelings.
At this juncture, missing an Ex becomes inevitable. They’ll begin to feel a void which recalls back the good memories together. Whatever intentions you have while going into a serious commitment like marriage, endeavor to include your emotional need, go for someone you can happily share your intimate moments with.
Having known some of the reasons why people are stuck with their Ex. It’s time to find out how one can easily move on and enjoy their new relationship/ marriage.
moving on from an Ex. 10 tips to guide you.
1. Redefine your purpose. from an Ex becomes easier when you know what you want in a relationship.
moving on from an ex becomes achievable if your aim of being in a relationship is to have a companion, someone you can easily share your happy moments with together with your down moments, someone that complements you, someone whose lifestyles and value aligns with yours, someone who values you and return the same energy you give . if these are your aim, and you ain’t getting it from them, you may not have any regrets breaking up with them.
Often times, some people don’t really know what they want, they get carried away by their fantasies and illusions which makes them vulnerable to someone who doesn’t treat them well.
When you know you want, no one would take you for a ride, hence you can easily move on with your life if eventually it didn’t work out.
2. Practice self development and resilience .
Unfortunately,a lot of folks have invested so much in a relationship that wasn’t meant to be, resulting to self negligence.
They can’t move on because they invested so much effort, resources and emotions in the life of another, hoping that one day they will end up as one, but to their greatest amazement, the feelings weren’t mutual. Some became stuck when the relationship broke apart leading to obsession and in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
So how can you find yourself again?
By realizing that people who can’t return the same energy you give them aren’t worth your time.
Don’t beat yourself so hard, the deed has been done already. Mistakes are meant to lead us to the right path of life and not to break us. The next step is to start investing on yourself, focus on becoming better.
Take yourself as a priority. Start giving yourself the best treat, invest on self care, hobbies, career and whatever that will ensure your growth and development.
3. PRACTICE Emotional detachment.
Detachment doesn’t necessarily mean a loss of feeling, but a control to it.
Though we can’t erase our feelings, but we can control where our feelings leads us to. And one of the practical ways to detach yourself emotionally is to quit stalking your ex. Trying to know the recent happenings around him or her will affect your mental health especially when they seems to be progressing quiet soon after the break up.
Not being in their picture, while you watch them glow more can be devastating. What about finding out they’re in a new relationship? This will break you more. To resist the urge of stalking, try deleting or blocking them from every social media platform, till you are Emotional strong to handle their friendship without strings attached.
4. Allow yourself to heal.
Taking a break after a break up is necessary. It will help you understand your new feelings, and be able to define wheather it is love, lust or infatuation.
Don’t yield into that urge to date immediately, because no matter how good your current partner is, you will always fantasize about your Ex and imagine they possess the same characteristics as he or she. Moving on from an Ex can be achievable if you can allow yourself heal naturally. It is usually tough at first, but time and season does it better.
5. Define your relationship.
A defined relationship relationship is synonymous to a purpose filled relationship. It enables you to easily take a walk when it’s becoming undesirable. When you know what you want, you will easily move out from a place that denies you access to that.
Don’t be led by your feelings. You remember your written down expectations about your partner? You remember what you wrote down as your dream relationship? Are all these a reality or just night mare?
Did you achieve all that why dating that person, or did you end up loosing the one in your possession?
Were you truly happy with the relationship? Or did it make your life miserable? These are the questions to reflect on. And until you become honest with yourself, moving on from an Ex will remain impossible.
