Are you being taken for granted?
Being taken for granted when in love can be the worst experience no one would even wish for their enemies.
You know that feelings when you crave for something, yet you can have it because it feels like you don’t deserve it.
The feeling of desiring for something, and yet having the replica of it. No one deserves to be taken for granted, no matter how deeply they are in love. The feeling of love ought to be mutual. Being taken for granted can make you feel like you don’t deserve the best, it can interfere with your self esteem.
Signs you are being taken for granted when in love
Dating why feeling lonely-
Are you dating yet feeling lonely? Perhaps,You’ve built up a lot of fantasies on your head on how you desire your dream relationship to be, but unfortunately, none of this expectations are close to reality.
They’ve not officially broken up with you, but you just feel like it has happened, no bonds, no butterflies in the stomach, no mutual vibes, you’re just bored. This is a sign you are being taken for granted.
Unavailability – when you feel their absence despite their promises at the early stage of relationship. It implies they are taken you for granted.
One of the characteristics of a healthy relationship is companionship. You can’t claim to love someone, when you don’t create time for them. Most times, they use the word “busy as an excuse to make up for their negligence.
However, getting occupied with a lot of busy schedules is what makes our human existence, but no matter how sophisticated our busy schedules is, we create time to people and things we see as priority. If they value you enough, they will include in their leisure time as part of what fulfills their happiness when they are off work. Stop entertaining excuses.
Un returned Energy – un returned Energy is one of the signs that you are being taken for granted when in love.
In every healthy relationship, the amount of energy you invest should be directly proportional to the amount of energy you receive, it is unhealthy to keep investing your effort and emotions where you are not needed.
You put in a lot of effort to ensure that the relationship works, this is because you see a value in it, but reverse is the case with them. People only invest their effort and resources where they are certain that the future is guaranteed, unfortunately they don’t include you in this future and that’s why they are putting little or no effort.
They don’t include you in their plans –
This is one of the disrespectful attitude you can get from someone that claims to love you, they don’t include you in their plans because they see no future in the relationship.
They make decisions without consulting you, because you aren’t that important to them. If you were, your opinion and suggestions will never be exempted for any reason.
The fact is that when we view someone as a priority in our life, we find it quite easy confiding in them at both good and challenging times, you”ll feel the desire to approach them for certain advise on ambiguous matters in your life that needs solutions.
They find it difficult to apologize for their wrongs-
This is one of the typical signs that you’re dating an Egocentric partner. They are never wrong in anything they do, they never feel remorseful because they feel the world revolves around them.
They take you for granted by never using the word “sorry” because they know that you will always condone their attitude or even admit for their wrongs. Hence they intentional take you for granted with such behavior.
They never appreciate your effort
When your partner finds it difficult to appreciate your effort no matter the sacrifices you make for them, but easily appreciate others, this is a typical sign that you’re being taken for granted when in love.
Appreciation is one of the significant love language that shouldn’t be neglected So why can’t they appreciate you? Because they feel they are entitled to whatever benefits they get from you? They feel they deserve it, hence their ingratitude behavior.
Having known some of the signs that your partner is taking you for granted, the good news is that is not too late to free yourself from such torture, if you’re willing and determined, hence it will linger .
15 steps to stop yourself from being taken for granted when in love.
Know your worth –
most times, we allow people belittle us because we don’t know our worth, we spend so much time trying to make a relationship work, and trying to please the wrong people so they could see the good aspect of us, thereby loosing ourself in the process because they care less about our effort.
When you’ve build enough confidence in yourself, you will never allow anyone take advantage of your emotions, no matter how much you’re in love with them.
Practice self appraisal-
learn how to Adopt self appraisal amidst of rejection. often times, we tend to put others first, due to the fear of uncertainties, fear that they might walk out of our life, fear that they may replace us, fear that they may jilt us, in the process of prioritizing them over us,
we forget that we are equally an important and rare species, we are a spec to people who truly deserves us.
You can’t realize this, till you learn to love yourself first. Your value to yourself will determine the value your significant other will place on you.
Set your principles –
The way you present yourself from a start will determine how others will treat you.
Setting your principle in a relationship entails indicating what you can’t condone from your significant other and sticking by your decision.
Whatever character you can’t tolerate for long, don’t even welcome or entertain it, hoping that they will change afterwards.
If you keep tolerating their excesses, it will get to a point where they would begin to see it as a norm, hence won’t see the need to put a stop to it.
This is a just a typical sign that you’re being taken for granted when in love.
Build yourself to be independent – The truth is that when we depend so much on someone, we build our lives and happiness around them, that we feel indebted to them in every aspect.
Being dependent on someone will get you stuck with their shortcomings. So many women are enduring domestic violence in their relationship and marriage because they are afraid that once they walk away, they would no longer receive the benefits they are receiving.
This is where independency plays a huge role. When your life is not dependent on another, you will find it easier walking away with your heads up high and dignity intact.
Have a life outside relationship-
we spent so much time learning a skill, we invest so much in empowering ourselves to be resourceful, but as soon as we fall in love, we focus more on relationship, thereby ignorantly making this aspect of our life we worked hard to build become insignificant and almost invisible.
Your partner take you for granted because you’ve focused your whole energy on the relationship.
Your life practically revolves around the relationship, thereby making them see less value in you. Just like the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. When your life is filled with so many adventures, your value will become feasible.
Relationship is just a part of life, treat it as one. With so many adventures in your life, your partner will know that being with them is such a rare privilege, hence they will value every time you make out for them and won’t take you for granted.
Stop begging for love – There are several reasons Why you must stop begging for attention in a Relationship. One of the reason is that love ought to be mutual, love should be given freely and as well received freely.
Forcing it if the feeling is not mutual can result to one being taken for granted.
When someone wants you in their space, they will treat you right, when someone wants to include you in their future, you”ll definitely know from the way they bond and communicate effectively with you. You don’t have to nag or struggle for it.
Don’t commit till you’re sure of their feelings
To avoid being taken for granted when in love, don’t commit yet, till you’re certain that the feeling is mutual. I understand the fact that love feelings can be a reflex action.
We can’t decide whom our hearts falls in love with, but we can decide who we choose to love.
You can discipline your mind not to show commitment pretty soon, till you are sure that the energy is mutual.
Often times, our inability to regain our confidence after a failed relationship is dependent on the level of commitment we’ve made towards it.
The more committed you are to someone, the harder it becomes to walk away when they are taking you for granted, so is usually advisable to wait and observe their own commitment level, before giving out yours fully.
Don’t show your weak points – weak points can make us vulnerable, exposing your weak point to someone whose interest is quite different from yours can result to being taken for granted when in love.
Interest is the key point. If they are not interested as you are, they will always leverage on your weak point.
Your weak point can be your fragile hearts, sensitivity and emotions. They will use that as a bait to toil with your emotions.
If they realize you forgive easily and can’t go a day without RESOLVING ISSUES, they will intentionally do things to make you sad. If they realized that you’re the emotional type, they will always want to manipulate you emotionally.
slow down in your availability – one of the reason why you’re being taken for granted when in love is that you make yourself too available.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, too much availability diminishes value. When you visit less, communicate less, and seek less of their attention, you’re creating a vaccum that can only be replaced by your presence. Thereby making them to miss you.
Walk away to save your mental health.
To avoid being taken for granted when in love, walking away may be your last resort, especially when you’ve done everything within your means to avert the situation.
Sometimes, they take you for granted because they’ve simply lost interest, and there’s really nothing you can do about it. When people fall out of love. They tend to put up so many weird behaviours hoping you will read the handwriting on the wall and move on. Remaining in the relationship could at the detriment of your peace.
Walking away from a relationship where you’re still in love, and may have invested a lot in could be one of the hardest decision. But trust me, it is still the best, it won’t be an easy journey, it takes a great deal of determination and decision to achieve, but with time, you”ll realize that you made the best decision.
External information source :://www.yourtango.com/self/immediate-steps-take-when-being-taken-granted-
