There are several behaviors you must avoid during courtship if you really want your courtship to be fruitful.
Having your relationship migrate from dating to courtship can leave you with the feelings of excitement and euphoria as it marks the beginning of your love journey.
Perhaps, you’ve always anticipated this moment. You couldn’t curtail your joy the day he proposed or she accepted your proposal. The feelings was heavenly as it left some butterflies in your tummy. Finally, you’re going to spend the rest of your life, with your dream man/ woman as you’ve always fantasized. But then, does that guarantee the end of the journey? I don’t think so, as a matter of fact, the journey just begun.
Getting it right at this stage is the first step towards having a successful marriage, so many marriages never happened as anticipated because some mistakes were neglected at the courtship level. It doesn’t matter how Long the engagement has lasted.
And so After proposal what next? What are some of the things you need to avoid during courtship in other to ensure that your courtship becomes successful?
7 things to avoid during courtship.
1. Lies
one of the negative behaviors couples need to avoid during courtship is lies. No matter how pleasant it might sound .
Honesty should be your best policy if your courtship must excel. Being dishonest to each other can mark the beginning of lack of trust in a relationship. Most times, people use lies as a defensive mechanism to cover up their lapses, hoping that their partner will never find out. But a times, reverse becomes the case, as their partner discovers from another source.
Dishonesty destroys relationship, do not try to make up with lies in other to save your relationship, lies is deceptive, nobody loves to be deceived, no matter how much feelings they’ve gat for you.
This is a life time commitment, you are about to embark on, you need to be open with every details of your life, including your job status. No matter how degrading or poor your status, there’s no point being dishonest about it.
If they love you enough, they will accept you the way you are, if not, it is good riddance to bad rubbish. Being open will make it easy to ascertain true love.
2. Avoid secrets.
Some secrets that is meant to be shared, once a relationship has gotten to the level of courtship, especially sensitive secrets that has a correlation with the future.
You can’t conceal them forever, otherwise it will ruin your marriage if your spouse gets to discover about them.
Imagine getting married to the love of your life, and along the line you found out that they already have kids with someone else.
Imagine getting married to your spouse, only to discover that they can’t give birth as they have developed complications as a result of several abortions they had in the past. Such scenario is better imagined than experienced. It is betrayal.
Transparency is one of the proven ways to determine a a healthy relationship . It doesn’t matter what their reaction will be if you reveal the truth to them from the onset. It will only get worse when you conceal it, and along the line, they finds out. They may never forgive you for that, and that might lead to divorce.
3. Third party interference.
One of the major things to avoid during courtship is the attitude of involving third party in your affair.
At the point of courtship, you should be able to resolve some of your misunderstanding and differences amicably. third party interference can only create more division between you and your spouse.
The more you learn to handle your issues confidentially, the more understanding your spouse will be with you .Resolving issues in a long term relationship like courtship, as it depicts maturity and readiness to handle marital issues.
4. Avoid pretense .
Most cases of divorce we have today emerged as a result of pretentious act by one or both couples, which includes hiding of flaws and exhibiting a character different from one’s true personality so as to attract the love and respect of the other.
When marriage eventually happens, it will become dawned on the affected partner who was being pretended to that they were all fake.
Sometimes, the pretense act can occur between both parties, and they they get into marriage, they will start discovering a lot of incompatibilities which can mark the end of the marital journey.
5. Avoid cohabitation.
And so what’s wrong with co-habitation? After all, we are going to be a couple soon, sharing every intimacy, secrets and bonds? Should engaged couples cohabit??
While cohabitation might seem like a nice decision, I don’t think is right for intending couples especially at the early stage of the engagement.
Familiarity breeds contempt a lot. Being too close with each other when you are yet to fulfill your marital rights can breed contempt and may prolong the marriage process.
Cohabiting most times affect ladies the most. When a a man begins to feel overwhelmed by a woman’s constant show of attention and playing of marital roles, he may loose the cravings to take further steps.
And thus will make the marriage linger,and sometimes the marriage may never happen.
Cohabitation is not a guarantee that partners will understand and know everything about each other.
People can live a pretentious lifestyle, especially when they are desperate to have something. Visiting each other occasionally will attract more respect to both parties till the marital rights is fulfilled.
6. Avoid constant intimacy.
One of the essential things you must avoid during courtship is Excessive intimacy. Intimacy builds bonds, but the most important bonds should be built on mutual communication.
Create more time for discussions, create more time for fun play. The best type of union is built on the basis of friendship. Endeavor to create more friendship in your union. Engaging in intimacy alone will get you both bored overtime.
Courtship should be filled with adventurous activities like dates, romantic dinners, vacation, leisure time for fun games and activities, all these helps to keep the fire burning and helps to rekindle the spark in a relationship/marriage.
7. Avoid certain friendship.
Irrelevant friendship is one of the things you must avoid during courtship.
As you are now engaged, you must put a stop to certain friendship of the opposite sex. Endeavor to set your boundaries when it comes to your relationship with the opposite sex. You might not have any wrong intention, but your closeness have the tendency to jeopardize your relationship or send the wrong signals to your partner indicating that you might be cheating on them, and they might start feeling insecure you also have to be careful with being too close with your Ex especially if they are yet to move on.
8 .Avoid desperation.
Courtship is a progressing phase in marriage. It is a sign that your relationship will be officially sealed in no distant time. But there’s one thing you must avoid at this period, and that is, “desperation”. This is specifically for women. Let him take the lead, don’t push it, allow things to flow naturally and gradually. Don’t pressurize him into the marriage, else he will take you for granted in the future. The interest to formalize things ought to be mutual. If he really wants you as his spouse, the burning desire to make things official must come from him and not the other way round.
External information :https://www.nairaland.com/5953708/five-things-avoid-during-courtship.
