Decision making in relationships is one of the attributes of a healthy relationship.
Making decisions in life is one of the basic way towards securing one’s future. Decisions are like life jackets. It is so sensitive that if not made properly it can either ruin one’s life.
Your decision in life determines your tendency of being made or ruined. This is why a lot of people are often not in a haste to make certain decisions without consulting some expertise in such areas.
Generally, decision is the sauce of life. And decision making in relationships is not an exceptional. It is very essential as it determines the life span of a relationship.
Do you know that most failed relationship/ marriage occurred as a result of wrong decisions taken by one or both partners? Decisions can either make or mar your relationship. And now the question is. How can decision making influence our relationships? Let’s find out.
How decision making in relationships can either make or mar the union.
When there is no mutual agreement.
Decision making in relationships might suddenly become a bone of contention and might lead to constant arguments between two couples when it is not mutual.
Just as the adage, ” it takes two to tango”,which implies that a relationship can only be successful when both are moving in similar route/ directions. both in thoughts and decision making.
Here is an instance. There are some sensitive issues which often lead to indifferences between couples. Among such issue is the issue of finance. financial issues is one of the leading cause of separation and divorce in most relationships and marriages. In a scenario where both couples earn a salary, there might be controversies on how to pay the bills.
The one who earns more might assume that it is not her responsibility to pay bills. While the one with lesser pay might feel cheated on for handling the responsibilities alone despite his low income. Such can be handled when both couples comes together to make a decision on how to share the responsibilities in a fair manner. Both should endeavor to arrive at a mutual conclusion and not in opposition against each other.
When one or both partner is Egoistic/ Authoritative.
Egoistic individuals often have this ” myself, ” me” and “I” mentality. Their intense desire for superiority often gives them the mindset that things ought to be done in their own. And so other people’s opinion are irrelevant.
However, Decision making in relationships is very important especially when handling such kind of people. In other to avoid being taken for granted.
As their significant other,they don’t have to conclude on a matter or make their own decision without consulting you. Such attitude signals neglect and disrespect. Both couples ought to respect each other.
When one is under pressure or duress.
There are people who wouldn’t mind putting you under duress to do certain things. They will often threaten to quit the relationship if you fail to comply.
Decision making in relationships ought to be applied here in other to avoid compromising your principle just to keep them. Don’t yield to their pressure just to have them. Decide on what you want and want you wouldn’t curtail. Such decision should be made known to them. So they can equally have a mutual discussion with you concerning that.
How can decision making in relationships be achieved?
Being friends with your partner/ spouse.
It is quite unfortunate that most couples live as house mates. Their only form of bond and communication is sex. Waking up every day with similar routine. Which is going to work, retiring back home only to doze off few hours later. And the same routine continues except on few occasions where they might decide to get intimate.
Even the intimacy goes with just the purpose of making each other orgasm. And that’s all. You can’t make a mutual decision with your better half when they are not even your friends. Lovers get attraction, but friends shares their deepest secrets with each other.
The best form of relationship is friendship. You don’t get bored sitting all day to discuss and plan your future together. But when friendship has been eliminated, you will often find it boring, doing other things aside sex.
compatibility must be present.
You can’t expect a fraudster to be honest with you when presenting a business idea.
Similarly, decision making in relationships works with compatibility. One who is egoistic or authoritative might find it unnecessary to make a decision with their spouse. Because they often expect their decision to be the final resort and most sought for.
That is why it is very necessary to include compatibility in the attribute of your prospective partner. You can only work together if the mind and interest are mutual. You need one who would respect your decision and not put you in any form of pressure to compromise your principal/standard for their own selfish motive.
Being Transparent with each other.
Transparency is very vital in any relationship. You can’t have a mutual decision when one or both of you have skeletons on their cupboard. What exactly do you want to decide on? When it is obvious you are not open with each other. You can’t solve a hidden problem. You can only solve a problem which had been unconcealed and made open. decision-making can only be effective in this scenario when you are both honest with each other.