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Neediness and desperation, the most proven source of heart break.

Neediness and desperation, the most proven source of heart break. 1

He has been your crush, you admire everything about him.. His charming looks, masculinity, charisma, talents and sense of humor…you’ve always wished and fantasize to have him close to you…at a point, you began to develop this urge and sudden quest within you to approach him by giving him the signal to woo you but you ignore the thought as that may bruise your ego and pride as a “woman”… Making you more vulnerable to hurt and heartbreak especially if the feelings were not mutual and reciprocated. You then decided to keep calm, and allow nature take its full course.

While praying that your wishes comes to pass. Fortunately, your dreams became a reality, when he finally asked you didn’t think twice before accepting his proposal, after all that was what you’ve been patiently waiting for. The relationship started, but you were still not satisfied… Because you don’t just want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one…you were expectant of a blissful future with him as that was your sole aim of desiring him…but unfortunately, it wasn’t moving well as you wanted. as he had never thought of that or included it in your discussions….

You finally summoned courage to ask him where the future was heading to. His responds indicated that there wouldn’t be any future with you… But the truth was so difficult to accept…you became so desperate, always the one pushing the relationship… While he does nothing to compliment your effort… Your desperation turned into neediness..when he could no longer condone your nagging attitude.. He decided to take a walk… Listen young lady… It is he who finds a “wife” and not she who pursues a “man”….. Stop being clingy and acting desperate all because you want him to put a ring on that finger. Stop making it look as though he is doing you a favour by asking you out and desiring to spend the rest of his life with you…

Live your life, upgrade your self, hold your dignity high, achieve your dreams in life and be an independent woman . I tell you, men will see having you beside them as an opportunity and not a “right”. They will respect you and never take you for granted… Stop pressuring them to commit. If they don’t want to commit, your pressures will amount to being a waste of time and energy.

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Issues in relationship are inevitable, it often shows up from time to time,but the approach towards handling it would determine the fate of the relationship. A times, misunderstanding in a relationship can help both partners to understand each other more. We might find it difficult to accept, but that is the fact. However,often times,we allow it to linger for so long because both partners had refused to accept the blame and take proper corrections where necessary.

Everybody wants his/her opinion to be heard. EGO and pride has a major role to play here, this qualities are very unhealthy for a serious and and committed relationship with a predictable future. There are so many ways by which issues can be resolved amicably.


so many folks finds it extremely difficult to accept their fault,let alone apologize for it. Even when it is very obvious that they have defaulted. Two wrongs they say cannot make a right, if you don't want to destroy the intimacy you have both built and nurtured for long you must put away pride and learn to use the simple word,'sorry'. it does not cost a thing.


You must avoid discussing your relationship issues with anyone you meet. Different strokes for different folks. The ways others handle their relationship might be totally different from the way you tend to handle yours. And thus their advise might not correlate with what might be beneficial to you. Moreover,some friends might be envious and jealous and thus try every possible means to see your relationship get destroyed. Because their:s are already heading towards that direction. You have to be careful,not all are truly happy for you.


Communication is one of the essential quality of a successful relationship. Do not hide your fears,feelings or whatever that you think that needs to be corrected. Try as much as possible to be transparent to each other. When they offend you,do not bear the grudges in your heart. Let them know,remember that they might not even be aware of it,if you remain mute. always pour out your feelings to each other.

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How to attract a marriageable spouse.

In life, it is the dream of everyman or woman to succeed in his/ her endeavour, or whatever he/ she actively engages in. No one wants to be tagged a "failure" even if is obvious they had already failed.
However, is rare to find any successful man/ woman who associates with low minded or pessimistic individuals. Their class of friends are usually people who have similar goals, ambitions and interest as they do.

In other words, the motive ought to be mutual. It has to come from from both sides. For the result to be effective. Likewise in relationships/ marriage. In other to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship, you first have to exhibit the characteristics required to have one, For you to be attracted to that special person who have similar qualities with you.

Just like is impossible to achieve success when you associate with people who are the verge of failure. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship when you associate with people who ain't thinking towards that direction.

Here is an illustration.

Claire had always wanted a serious and very committed relationship, which could lead to marriage soon. Fortunately, she met frank few days later. One thing led to another, both fell in love and proceeded towards being more than friends. Contrary to Claire's desire and wish. Frank only wanted a fling with no strings attached. Claire clearly saw the signs in the course of their relationship. But ignored. hoping

That things would get better . but unfortunately it never did. And before you knew what has happened. They both parted ways because they ain't thinking towards the same direction. What can you deduce from this scenario?

The relationship couldn't work out because their individual motives of being in the relationship weren't similar .
Having understood this, let's look out for two essential ways that would enable one ascertain whether or not his/ her partner have the same interest like they do.

1) endeavour to define your relationship at the initial stage- by defining your relationship, you are clearly stating out what you tend to achieve from it in the long run. This will easily help you know your partner's intention and be sure is compatible with yours.

2) look out for early signs- most times, before break up occurs. There might have been some warning signals, but the victims chose to ignore just as was seen in the case of Claire. Who was hoping that things would get better but all to no avail. Do not ignore some early warning signals. It is just an indication that your partner's intention ain't similar with your. He may just want you fun, while you you sincerely want a serious date. It was emphasized even in the scripture. Can two work together except they be in agreement? The simple answer is a big No!!!!

How to attract a  marriageable spouse. 3