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Should I go back to my ex?

Is it right to go back to your ex?

The issue of Ex’s surfacing from nowhere to interfere in a present relationship is a very critical issue that really calls for adequate attention.

The true definition of an EX.

The prefix “Ex”. Which was derived from the word Expired means no longer valid or in existence. When a  break up occurs, it is assumed that the relationship has come to an end and their presence in your life no longer exist. You then have two options. Either to make up by settling  whatever is the  issue or part ways.

If you’ve both chosen to part ways, you are expected to learn whatever lessons that is necessary and move on so as to avoid repeating it in your next relationship. Moving into another relationship immediately may not be the best especially if there are still unresolved feelings.

But reverse is the case today, so many people break up. Only to start entertaining distractions from their Ex’s. Don’t allow your ex ruin your present relationship. If you can’t handle the issue of  being friends with them without involving emotions, is better to  part ways and stop constant communications. Most times, they ain’t coming back  for a genuine reason. They called to see you doesn’t necessarily mean they missed you. It could be to lure you to their satisfaction and dump you afterwards.  I’ve never seen a food item retains its potency, value or taste after expiring. Or a product still strong and effective after undergoing series of repair. .
If you can’t resolve your issues during break up.

What makes you think you can resolve them after break up?
If they can’t change during the relationship, how do you think they would after break up?
Remember If you were both meant for each other, there wouldn’t be the break up in the first place. Whatever made them to leave you initially would still make them to leave you the second time.

Resolution after break up. How possible is it?

Respect your new partner. If you haven’t moved on, please save someone the heartache of being emotionally attached to you whereas your heart is still with another.
Don’t entertain ex’s distraction to avoid loosing at both ends.

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Aplogy. An antidote to a successful marriage

A relationship comprised of two individual who tends to disagree with each at all times, argues and quarrel uncontrollable. But settles amicable is bound to succeed than that where partners never accept each other's flaws.

Apology is very necessary for a successful relationship


Nothing destroys a relationship/ marriage faster than EGO. Relating with human is one of the most tedious task, because it requires patience, understanding and tolerance. The same is applicable in a relationship. You can't love without tolerance.
Understanding the fact that your partner may not have a similar character with you or portray the character you wish will enable you adjust and tolerate them at all times.
It takes two to tango. A relationship cannot survive when both parties never adnit their mistakes.There is no perfect relationship, at one point or the other, disagreement might arise, fight will ensure and uncontrolled argument might surface. But how you both react to this weaknesses will determine the fate of your union

Ego destroys a relationship so fast that you can imagine.


Most times, all is needed to save a union is the four lettered word "sorry". It doesn't really matter who is wrong or right, what matters is the value you place on your union. It might be difficult at first. because, your pride and egocentric nature as human may not want to yeild or give in to defeat. Two wrongs they said does not make a right. When you allow pride becloud your sense of reasoning. Chances are that you may end up loosing someone special in your life.

No one is perfect, your partner might be good in other aspect, but hardly apologize. In such scenario, you have to take up the challenge. You have to lead by example. Ignore your pride by doing the needful. The good news is that once they realize how much effort you invest in other to secure your union, they will be motivated to follow same suit especially if the desire to secure the union is mutual.

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Getting the right suitor

Having suitors asking for your hand in marriage, is one of the greatest and remarkable moment every lady possibly at a marriageable age longs for.

Selecting a good suitor

The feelings is synonymous to winning a trophy, especially when there had been marriage pressures from the society or family members.

However, the problems and challenges a lot of ladies go through has always been in the aspect of making a right choice.
And this seems to be the most critical stage in the life of every woman, as any decision made at this period will determine the fate of your marital life.

They all seems good, and in possession of good qualities. But the question is? Whom do you go for?

Before you make that decision, let me help you with this little illustration.

Assuming you have the need to get some personal toiletries like your wiper, tissue paper, body cream,,body spray, bathing soap, cloths and clothing accessories. In the actual sense, you desire all this, they are all good. but because you can’t afford all, you opted to selecting the most essential ones in the order of their cloth vitality . I.e cloths, tissue paper, bathing soap, cream.

In likewise manner, when you have the need for food and shelter Which would you go first? Food right!!! Yea because is necessary for survival. That doesn’t mean the others ain’t important. But without food, you won’t survive let alone searching for shelter.

The scenario is just to paint a likely scenario of what it looks like in having so many suitors possibly seeking for

For your hand in marriage. Especially when it seems like they all possess the same qualities

Tips to guide you towards making the right decision

Search for compatibility

we all have our individual choices as regards to marriage, it doesn’t matter how good he may be. What matters is meeting the criteria you’ve always desired in a partner. Is he is someone you can easily get along with? Is he and easy going individual? Or someone who wouldn’t give you a breathing space?

Look beyond perfection

Your idea man shouldn’t be a flawless man, but a man whom despite his flaws can still have a mutual and cordial relationship with you. Flaws are inevitable as long as humans are concerned. He may not be good in all aspects. But you can be rest assured that his good qualities outweighs his flaws.

Avoid desperation.

This is one of the greatest mistake a lot of young women make out there, when trying to choose a suitor. The excitement and enthusiasm at this period may be at it’s peak. Opting you to be quick to accept a proposal without having a thorough thought. In this scenario, most women often view a picture of their gorgeous wedding outfit, and the cruising moment with their spouse in an exquisite hotel. They totally forget the fate that may befall them when the excitement and cheers are over. Avoid desperation at all cost. Don’t be quick to accept a proposal when you ain’t convinced that he is the right one for you.

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I want to perform this task today, but I just have a limited time..I think is best to leave it tomorrow. "I would have done it today, but am so weak and exhausted. Let me extend it tomorrow, then I will have enough time and energy.

These statements and more has really drawn and set a lot of people backwards in their life pursuit and endeavour. It is a habit capable of shattering ones goal and ambition. And if not gotten rid of may turn into a consistent habit and addiction.

Time is one of the valuable assets in the life of every man...its value and importance cannot be over emphasized, as it equates to that of finance. If misused may result to pronlonged negative effect or alteration of future ambitions.

However, adhering to time can be quite challenging a times especially when you stuck in between so much task with limited time to perform it. Here are some of the factors to help you overcome procrastination and utilize your time effectively.

1) SETTING YOUR PRIORITY - no matter how much work load we have, there are certainly ones which are of less important than the other. You heard of scale of preference in Economics, which implies choosing from the most important to the least important of your needs. Setting your priority help you to choose the task which attaches value in your life and poses a great risk to your future if left unattended to. Assuming you only have a limited time. It doesn't imply you will abandon other task permanently, but forgoing them temporarily and then coming back to perform them at your leisure time.

. TARGET - when you set a target to do of perform a task, automatically you are subjecting yourself to self discipline which help you not to relent till the task is accomplished and result achieved.

. DETERMINATION - determination enables one to stay put and stick to ones decision amidst of uncontrollable and inevitable circumstances . nothing in life ever comes itself is full of struggles and sometimes difficulties. However making a decision and determining to scale through no matter its cost will enable you.. It may cost you a great strength, lots of sleepless night and sometimes your pleasure, but at the end, all the result achieved will certainly worth
The effort invested on them.

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Coping with a nagging partner

Copping with a nagging partner.

Coping with A nagging partner.
At some point in our life, we may have to deal with a partner who would always find fault in anything we do…. Who gets so temperamental and yells at us on any slightest provocation.
They can never stop criticisms, because to them, we ought to be perfect in every aspect of our life.
No matter how much you love your spouse, nagging could be a big turn off or one of the characters that irritates you so much. That you can’t help but which you could punch them on the face. Sometimes, you may want to retaliate or unleash your anger. But unfortunately, that may not be the best solutions.

Different proven ways to cope with A NAGGING PARTNER.

  1. UNDERSTANDING – Do not be in a haste to give up on them or walk away because of their negative traits.. You have to understand the fact that no human is perfect. We all have
    our weaknesses and sometimes we may not recognize it as a weakness.
    Don’t forget that they might also be dealing and trying to condone your own weakness and imperfection which maybe worse than that which they were currently exhibiting . So why give up on them when you ain’t perfect either.

COMMUNICATION – just like the saying goes “there is absolutely no smoke without fire. There is also a saying that “behind every nagging woman, there may be a genuine reason. Communication is the pillar that supports and holds a relationship firm. You can’t possible resolve any issue in relationship without first knowing what led to it and that can only be achieved by communicating with him/her. Try and have a heart to heart talk with them to know the reason behind their nagging .and what they expect from the relationship.

3. SELF EXAMINATION – sometimes, we fail to admit the fact that we might be the reason behind our partners nagging attitude. There is always this assumption that they nag just to get back at us or provoke us. But u fortunately, reverse may be the case. Try and examine your self to know where you ain’t getting it right…the things she constantly complain of or nag about, are they things you are often guilty of? And need to quit or adjust on in other to put an end to their nagging attitude. Ponder on this questions to enable you know the way forward.

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sacrifice in relationships.

Sacrifice is one of the characteristics of love. it is he most significant way of expressing your love and affection towards another/ people.

In families, parents tends to show their love towards their ward by the sacrifices they make towards breeding them up from their infancy stage to adult hood. Often times, it might not really be easy, there might be challenges ranging from finances to limited resources in the course of the breeding up periods. But nevertheless, they still struggle to make it possible. And do everything within their reach to make it become a reality. Even if it entails borrowing from friends selling their properties or denying themselves some pleasures of life in order to make their ward happy, satisfied and fulfilled.

They do that because of the love, affection and bond they have towards their child. And this is the only significant way of expressing such love..

This implies that love is more of practical than theoretical. And such way to express that is through sacrifice.

This illustration is applicable in relationship. You can’t claim to love another when you hardly make sacrifices for them. The language of sacrifice speaks more when trying to
Express your love towards another. We can. Only make sacrifices for people we cherish and place as a priority in our lives. Just as we have in the above illustration, in the case mother- child rationship.

Sacrifices is essential in keeping a relationship/ marriage alive. No matter how you profess your love towards someone, they might not believe till is backed up with some actions and pratical expressions.


Sacrifices could differ and may come in various forms. It must not necessarily be limited to finance. It could be inform of your time, ( which is the basic), monetary aspect, gift and rendering of services. All of the aforementioned points and quite important and essential and depends on the one which your partner values the most.

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Regaining your partner’s Trust


Trust is very essential for any relationship to thrive well. Trust is like a foundation of any building, when the foundation is faulty, there is every tendency that the building might collapse in no distant time.

Is not Always easy, developing trust for someone/ people. For one to entrust every aspect of their life to you, shows how much they believe in you. And so betraying them would be synonymous to stabbing them.

Imagine entrusting a supposed cloth to be worn for a particular occasion to your designer. You gladly paid in advance even when he hadn’t delivered his service. Because you believed in him and never thought he is gonna disappoint you.

you went to get back your cloth as agreed, hoping that it is ready, but unfortunately, when you got to his shop, you discovered that it hasn’t been touched or probably wasn’t ready and may not be ready soon. How would you feel? Betrayed and disappointed right?

Am certain that after that incident, you would vow never to patronize his service again. That’s the exact scenario applicable to trust in relationship/ marriage. When a trust is broken. Is not always easy to get revived. But not totally impossible.

You might have erred, betrayed or done something worth of making your partner loose their trust in you. And you’ve been wondering if they can ever trust you again?

Worry no more. No matter the degree of your offense, there is still hope,

as Long as they haven’t divorced you yet, as long as they haven’t broken up with you. You’ve gat to relax.

Here are the few tips that would enable you regain their trust .

Acceptance – you first have to admit that you have erred, it signifies how remorseful you are. accept the fact that you’ve wronged them.. Don’t try to justify it with whatsoever reason.

patience – time they say heals all wound, they fact that they uttered abusive words, yelled so loud or vowed never to trust you again out of anger, doesn’t imply that you’ve lost the chances of regaining their trust. Words uttered when emotions are at its peak are not always intentional. Give it time.

Change of Attitude – during this period of probation, you ought to be extremely careful to ensure you ain’t going to err again. Make him believe in you again. In What areas did you default? Ensure you ain’t going back to it again. Were you cheating on him/ her? Ensure you you cut all the ties you had with your cheating partner. He should see reasons to believe in you again, and with that. He may decide to give you a benefit of doubt and a second chance.

Avoid being Pushy – being pushy and constant demand of forgiveness could ruin things for you. At this period, he may demand for space. His emotions might not be stable yet to make things right. And trust me, any decision made with an unstable mind does not always yield a positive result.

Don’t give up – you are still together right? If yes, then there is every tendency that he hadn’t given up on you. Just like it took him so much time to believe in you, regaining that trust wouldn’t be an exception. Remember is not always easy, regaining their trust is synonymous like re- building a collapsed building . Going through all the stress, and re- investing your resources all over again . We are humans and emotional to the core. As you’ve done your part by giving them a benefit of doubt. Just continue being good and don’t give up. Is always a gradual process, before things get back like it were initially.

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Should I go ahead with this marriage?


You've searched for true love. and fortunately, you finally found one. From all indications, they met the qualities you've always desired in a partner. You started off as a friends, and one thing eventually led to another, you became inseparable. The feelings was mutual that you couldn't get enough of each other. Just like every other relationship , After dating for some years, the urge of settling down with each other began to develop. He proposed to you and you gladly accepted. As that is what you've always anticipated for. And marriage preparations began in earnest.

Just few months before your marriage ceremony,the unusual happened. You discovered that your spouse to be is not whom he/she portrayed him/herself to be. You discovered an attitude in him/ her that you may find difficult to curtail. This scenario has often led a lot of people especially women in going into the wrong marriage, as the society often place marital pressures on them more than their male counterparts. And to some others, the thought of not ending up with someone they dated for close to 3-4years is suicidal and so they would rather go on with the marriage with the hope of managing them or getting them to change afterwards.

Unfortunately, this is is a wrong mindset and decision. and shouldn't be put into consideration. In life, the distance of a journey does not always matter. what matters most is reaching your destination at the end. It is not about he who began the race, but he who was able to get to the end and emerge victorious. Marriage is a life time commitment,and should be treated as such. It is not always how far, but how well. The number of years spent in dating would not guarantee a successful marriage. Neither is it a yardstick in measuring the blissfulness of a marital journey.

What determines a successful marriage is being with the partner whose attitude and character you can easily curtail. Remember, you are about spending the rest of your life with him. Imagine waking up every morning seeing someone who is a thorn in your flesh lying beside you. Or staring at their face everyday with the feelings of hatred and bitterness.

And wished you could just punch them on the face. Don't subject yourself in a situation where you would end up with regrets and wished you never ventured in. Better to be late than wrong. The ball is in your court now. The decision will forever be yours. But I oblige you to make the right decision so as to enjoy your marriage rather than endure it.

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Right attitude towards success.


Success is a choice, and not a wish!!!
Everyone wishes to be great in life, but only few had made that choice, taken that decision and are ready to do whatever it takes to get there as long as it is genuine and legal.

Dreaming big is a path towards success, but working hard to gets you that destination.

Before the owner of a building begins its foundation, he first begins by setting out his plans, his choice of design, and budget.

However, having the right choice of design, and plans won't get make him accomplish his dreams of building that house, no matter how great his ambitious and dreams are. What makes the dreams becomes accomplished is the determination and effort towards getting it done.
If he doesn't have any plans of getting the income required, then his dreams becomes a waste.

The same scenario applies in life,
Dreams prepares you for your future, but your effort and hard work takes you there.
Wishes gets you focused, but your effort in turning that wish to a reality makes it fulfilled.

A life with just a dream can easily be blown off when trials and tribulations sets in...but when accompanied with determination, persistence and hardworking, it stands firm despite the stormy weather.

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Love and emotions

Love and emotions.

Often times, we tend to misunderstand this two terms…and that’s the reason most people believe that true love can never exist without sex.

Emotions are just feelings which can be either lust or infatuation They can’t be outrightly described as love. Though sometimes it can gradually progress to the feelings of love.

Emotions are just feelings which could arise as a result of being physically attracted with someone of the opposite sex without desiring to have any future with them. It is usually for short term satisfaction.
This explains why people can claim to love each other. But as soon sexual intimacy takes place, the once professed love and affection becomes a history. They mistook their emotions for love. They only had chemistry as a result of build up hormones being stimulated by their sexual organs and sending the wrong signals to the brain.

When you are truly in love with someone, no matter how attractive and gorgeous they are, your first desire or step may not be to get physically involved with them via sex, but to get to know more about them, their personal life, biography and attitude in general especially if you have the desire to include them in your future or develop a long term relationship with them

In other words, emotions can lead to sex, but may not progress to true love. This is why is always advised to define your relationship at the initial stage. So you wouldn’t end up mistaking romance for true love.