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Getting rid of Abusive relationship

Getting rid of Abusive relationship 1
Woman experiencing heart break in her relationship

Are you in an abusive relationship?perhaps, you are being taken for granted. You value your partner so much, you can walk a mile for them, but unfortunately, they can’t take a step for you. You put all your effort to ensure the relationship works, but they do nothing about it because they probably ain’t into you. You feel depressed and wished they could see through your heart to understand how you feel for them. And reciprocate thereafter.

What to do

If you are experiencing such scenario. Then I would advise you to calm down, take a deep breath and listen to what I have to say now.

You haven’t done anything wrong by falling in love.
You haven’t done anything wrong by choosing to stick to them amidst pressures from others who would have been glad having you as their date.
You have done absolutely nothing wrong by being loyal to them.

what then is the problem?

However, your major mistake was not realizing the fact that relationship cannot thrive well without the effort of both partners.

A heart needs to express love, and another heart needs to receive it, appreciate and reciprocate afterwords.

You deserved to be loved.
You deserved to be given a prefential treatment.

Don’t force if it ain’t happening. Love is natural, it is neither manipulated nor pushed. If your partner ain’t treating you well, walk away. Easy right? Hell no!!! But that’s the best decision ever. There is always someone meant for you, there is someone who deserves you. You can only get to meet them when you disentangle your self from the wrong relationships. Always be yourself, do not compromise your standard all because you want to please someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.

Don’t settle for less.

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Co-habitation in a relationship

Am confused, I’ve always heard people say that cohabiting with your partner is wrong and brings about disrespect and loss of value. But I have a friend who oco -habited with her boyfriend for more than 2yrs and now they are happily married…I’ve seen a lot of women who had sex on their first date and yet ended up with their spouse….does having sex on the first date actually makes a woman appear cheap or loose her dignity and value as claimed????

I know a lot of ladies who got deflowered by the one they love but yet weren’t dumped as supposed….but Instead it increased the rate of commitment from their significant order as they were being loved and cherished. afterwards. Is there really anything wrong with giving your virginity to the one you love before marriage??

These are the questions that subject some many ladies into a state of dilemma each time they ponder on it… many have ruined their life and future trying to imitate other people’s life style. So many have ignorantly fallen prey in the wrong hands because they were misinformed or generally made to believe that relationships have a set of rules or was meant to work in a certain way…..Just like every other aspect of life. Do not let the decision of others influence you. That it worked for your friend is no guarantee that it w”ll definitely work for you. The scenario is just like choosing soccer as a career and being optimistic that you will succeed simply because your friend does the same..and succeeded. even when you are certain that football is not your choice of career.Do what you feel is right or may work perfectly for you. So you can easily accept any result or psychological trauma aassociated with it…. Nothing brings about self blames and constant regrets than imitating other people’s life style and unfortunately, not having it turn out to your favour. Just like you expected.

Co-habitation in a relationship 3


Chinenye NnamaniV

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Infidelity in relationships, How to avoid it 1.

Infidelity in relationships, How to avoid it 1. 5
Man with Lover Caught by his Wife

One of the common challenges that people often face in a relationship is the ability to avoid double dates.

To some folks, it is just an impossible task, hence they tend to justify it with the quote “All men are polygamous in nature.

Double dating is so common this days among both genders, because of the quest to taste different varieties. Humans are insatiable in nature, and this insatiability extends to every aspects of our life. This explains the reason why a man with a beautiful wife would still go ahead to cheat with other women despite having a wife with adorable qualities. This explains the reason why a woman who have an adorable man that provides all her needs, but yet goes ahead to cheat with other men.

However, irrespective, of the prevalence of infidelity in our society today, there are still people practicing monogamy. It is quite possible… And can be achieved by adopting the following measures. –


the importance of discipline in our lives cannot be over emphasized. Discipline breeds self control. Without discipline, we may end up satisfying our material quest at the expense of our future. As a married man, it may not be easy to keep your eyes off that your secretary that dresses seductively to office everyday if you lack self control and discipline.


contentment brings about self fulfillment. But lack of contentment leads to unnecessary quest. Contentment makes you realize that your

Partner or spouse may not have the best of qualities, shape or stature, but learning to love and cherish them the way they are without having to double date.

Apply cautiousness

prevention they say is better than cure, it is better to prevent any situation which may likely lead to infidelity. If any man or woman of the opposite sex starts getting unusually close to you, be careful and watch it, else you may succumb. It could be your colleague in your office, business partner or even neighbour. Set limits and boundaries with any friend of the opposite sex. Avoid any situation that may increase your chances of cheating on your spouse.

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Insecurity In relationship 1.

Insecurity In relationship 1. 7
Insecure couples

insecurity has caused more good than harm in a lot of relationships/ marriages today. It has contributed to the increasing rate of heartbreak and divorce….the fear of the unknown, the fear of what may not be certain and " mere speculations and assumption.

Now the question is how do we curb this Negative trait. Let's look out some factors contributing to this.

Inferiority complex

individuals with low esteem tends to develop some phobic in most aspect of their lives…they always feel neglected and less appreciated. They have this mindset that they might not be too good for their partner and thus often nag, interrogate, and assume they are being cheated on. This trait makes them become too needy, pushy and emotional stable.

Lack of Trust

Trust is like a glass ware. Once broken it can no longer be fixed to its initial state. When there had been a previous issue of infidelity. From one or both partners. It ignites an insecure feelings to the affected partner that he/ she may find it difficult to trust the other party. And this leads to constant assumptions over what may not be the fact. Trust is earned and once lost, might lead to insecurity.

Unresolved issues

misunderstandings are inevitable part of a healthy relationships, however. When they are allowed to linger on for a long period of time and not resolved abruptly. It may lead to insecurity. Because there will always be a recall or reminiscence of the past memories one or both parties are usually scared of the same occurrence resurfacing in subsequent occasions.

In summary, insecurity can be easily gotten rid off. If partners learns to understand and tolerate each other on every aspect. Resolve every issues within themselves without any interference of third party. And also avoid other aforementioned factors which seems to be the leading course of insecurity.

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Time management Tips 1.

Time management is one of the greatest attribute of champions and people who aspires to be successful in life.
An Average human is said to be busy for at least 12hrs in a day,but yet unproductive in his/her endeavour as a result of mismanagement
of time. the word ''busy' is the most frequently used word and has equally been misused by many who had no clear understanding of what it actually meant.
Literally, 'busy'' can be defined as a state in which an individual engages him/herself in any activity or work. it is an exact opposite of idleness. which implies that not being idle at a particular time indicates that an individual is actually busy. sleeping eating and engaging in other normal activities ain't an exception.

Now The Question is no longer how busy one is?but what you are actually found busy with?

I've seen some folks who hardly take a nap,and hence usually develops one alignments or the other as a result of inability to rest but yet can't boast of any achievement. while there are few others who spend less time but yet achieves a lot. it has to do with ability to manage one's time,being able to accomplish a lot within a specific limited time.

Here are some factors that will enable you utilize your time wisely.


there is a popular saying he who has failed to plan,is said to have planned to fail. each successful day ought to begin with a strategic plan or list of activities which must be adhered strictly to. try as much as possible to adjust your schedules in such a way that it will correspond with the time available. you can commence by starting from the most important to the least important. which automatically leaves you with the feelings of excitement and fulfillment.

Setting target:

setting a target is one of the surest ways of overcoming laziness and procrastination. make up your mind and do everything within your reach to meet up with your target within a specific period of time see it as a task being imposed on you by another,assume it was an instruction or obligation being issued to you by an employer else you loose a job. developing that mindset gives you an insight and ability to accomplish your target.

time is an essential factor,always be time conscious to avoid loosing your life time opportunity.

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Common mistakes women make After proposal.

Common mistakes women make After proposal. 9
excitement as his fiancee proposes.

A lot of women has always longed for that period when their man would pop up the long awaited question “will you marry me? Especially when they have dated him for so long. You can’t wait to see him kneel before you, and propose. After which you wouldn’t hesitate to accept his proposal. To some women out there, proposal equates to marriage. While some has the perception that proposal is just a way of securing their relationship possibly to scare other intending suitors.
I am sure you must have heard 7a lot of women complain about wearing the engagement ring for so long… To the point that the began to doubt the possibility of the marriage taking place. This occurs as a result of naivety and lack of proper information as regards to proposal and engagement ring.

Here are common mistakes women make after proposal.

misconception about marriage

having the believe that with proposal, marriage is certain. And this is why so many have worn that ring and yet never experienced marriage.

They assumed they had gotten married without paying heed to the future of the relationship. And thus may have possibly chased other potential suitors away. When engaged, is not right to sit back even when is obvious that the engagement may not lead to marriage. You have to look out for signs, is he really making preparations for marriage or did he engage you to scare potential suitors away so as not to loose you. or to curb your desperation towards marriage. How is he planning to carry out the marital rights? These are some of the things to consider.

Assuming marital roles:

A lot of women are guilty of this. At the mere mention of marriage, sense of reasoning drops, co-habitation with a man becomes becomes the next decision. Performing wify roles and functions like house chores, constant love makings. Thus hindering and delaying the marriage plans. Because most men gets so comfortable at this stage. There is lesser urge to perform the marital rights since he is already getting the duties that was meant for marriage. There is nothing wrong with going to your fiancee’s house to help him out with house chores once in s But when it becomes habitual to the point of co-habitation, it spells desperation which may delay the marriage plans. Non availability triggers curiosity. And curiosity triggers quest. It is human to value what is not easily available and long for what hasn’t been tested or experienced.

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Sex and bond in a relationship

Sex and bond in a relationship 11
sex and bond.

And so you have gotten into an intimate relationship. The excitement pops in that you barely get enough of each other. The spark seems to be igniting each day as you are always seen in each other’s company. At a point, you started feeling an intense urge to include sex as part of your intimacy, as romance and exploring each other intimate part seems to be insufficient.

Sex will create a bond which will spice up our relationship and enable it last longer. ” your instinct gives you that impression. And this takes us to the controversial question.

Does sex really creates bond?

In romantic love there are two special kinds of hormones released during sex and at the point of orgasm. They are oxytocin and vasopressin.these chemicals ignites a special bond otherwise known as Emotional bond which makes the individual gets attached to each other. Sex itself is like a soul tie, this explains the reason why one or both partner finds it difficult to let go of each other when the relationship comes to an end. And women are mostly affected in this scenario as a result of their emotional and sensitive nature.

However, regardless of the fact that sex creates an emotional bond, the feelings usually associated with sex spurs out the true spice in marriage. But for relationships it could be complicating especially if the foundation of the relationship has been built solely on sex. There is every tendency that one or both partners might fall out of love if they were only interested in sex. This is when reality sets in, the sex becomes bored along the line. as they began to realize that aside sex they had nothing else to offer to each other.

Sex should not be the basis of any relationship especial an undefined relationship. Surprisingly, married couples with all their amazing and consistent sex life still gets divorced over other trival issues let alone individuals in a relationship.
Most people especially female virgins complains of their partner’s high sexual libido and their inability to adapt to their celibacy. Hence the constant pressure from them to succumb. I believe such individual has nothing else to offer aside sex. When you possess some other unique qualities, like caring attitude, tolerance, intelligence and sense of humour. Be rest assured that sex will be the least priority in your partner’s mind. And thus they will respect your decision to stay celibate.

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5 Dangers of rebound Relationship.

Dangers of rebound relationship
Dangers of rebound relationship



What are the dangers of rebound relationship?  This question is not an uncommon question.

So many folks desires to  get into a new relationship, probably as a way to forget their ex, without realizing the effect of falling in love immediately after a break up.


Heartbreak is the most awful and frustrating feelings no one even wishes for his/ her enemy. Its effect is synonymous to loosing a loved one.


You wished you could just wake up and realize it was just a dream. You can’t help but wish they could tell you they were only joking by ending it.


About Rebound relationship


Immediately, after the end of a relationship, a lot of people have this urge to mingle again. Especially the one whose heart was broken or who still have a spot or feelings for their ex. Is just hard to come into terms that you can’t be with them again.


They are scared of being single again, probably because their life and everything that concerns them revolves around the relationship. And so they smile at every opposite sex that comes their way, gives out their digit to every stranger they meet anywhere.


Pay attention.


Just because your relationship has ended, doesn’t mean your life ought to end as well. But rather it should be the beginning of a new phase in your life. Do not be in a haste to jump into a new relationship especially if you have not healed completely from your previous relationship.

Dangers of rebound
Dangers of rebound relationship

What you should do  after a break up. 


This is the period to re- evaluate your life, this is the period to improve in your career, skills and intellect. This is the period to improve in every other aspect of your life including relationships .this is the period to Learn from your mistakes to
Know where you didn’t get it right. no matter how bad the relationship was or the state of trauma it left you in, there is always a lesson to learn from that experience. To know how best to handle your next relationship in other To avoid such reoccurrence . let’s look out some of the dangers of rebound relationship some reasons-why-rebound-dating-ain’t healthy.



Dangers of rebound Relationship.



One of the dangers of rebound relationship is over expectations. When you are still stuck with the feelings of your ex, you will often expect your rebound relationship to possess the same trait as your ex. You will have a stereotyped  description on how you want the relationship to be. This is just similar to being in an Imaginary relationship. When is becoming apparent that  this expectations ain’t going  to  be a  reality, it often leads to the second dangers of rebound relationship which is



 comparison is  another apparent dangers of rebound relationship . you might end up comparing your new love with your ex. There is a big difference between falling in love and having a rebound partner. The former occurs naturally, with genuine feelings. While the later happens for a purpose. Either to get back at your ex or get over the feelings. At first, you might try to adjust with them.It might seems like you are beginning to adapt with this new love. But some where along the line, you might begin to miss your ex, hence fantasizing about the memories you once had with your ex, which will end up in comparison. 

The truth is that most rebound relationship usually doesn’t end well and doesn’t last for long too. Because you will end up comparing your new lover with your ex. Toiling with their feelings and subjecting them to emotional trauma. And by so doing, you are inviting karma into your life. 

Mixed feelings


True love just like the name implies is a true and honest feelings. It comes with a genuine  heart void of doubts and  deceit. Whereas rebound relationship can be deceitful because the feelings ain’t sincere and genuine.

and the love ain’t true. Sometimes, you may feel you are beginning to fall in love with your rebound. At other times, you will assume they are just a rebound and nothing more. This will often leave you with an unstable mind. And so the question is how long do you intend to continue having those feelings? 



Vulnerability is another visible dangers  of Rebound relationship . it  makes you vulnerable to more heartbreaks. Because as your looking for a shoulder to lean on, some people will try to take advantage of the situation.

They will use and dump you leaving you in a more depressed state than you were before. A lot of people particularly women have fallen victim to this.  After  an awful break up, especially the one initiated by the other party.  is natural to seek for solace and comfort in the arms of an opposite sex.

But unfortunately, one might  be misled by another who has an ulterior  motive different from the one possessed by the victim.  

Clingy and  neediness.

When you get into a rebound relationship, you might be leading the other party on. He/ she might assume that you want a real relationship, hence might give in so much  commitment to the relationship. When they suddenly finds out your intention, they might find it difficult to move on because they had already fallen in love with you. The negative aspect of it is that they will end up becoming so needy. Such neediness can lead to obsession .am certain you know the effects of having someone so obsessed with you. It can be so scary and threatening. The victims  might seek for revenge if they don’t have their feelings reciprocated.  In other to prevent this, avoid leading people on and stirring their emotions just to  get over a hurt. You are only subjecting them to an emotional trauma of what they are ignorant of. And such might equally lead to karma. 

In summary, say no to rebound!!! Allow yourself to heal before venturing into a new relationship. Rebound can only make you a slave to your emotions and feelings.




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A building under construction.

A building under construction has three important personalities which enables the building project come into accomplishment.they are.

A building under construction. 13
Building construction

The project owner

this is the basic and most important of all other personalities. He detects, directs and issue out instructions on how the project should be carried out. He is also responsible of all the financial responsibilities needed for the task to be accomplished.

The Engineer :

these are set of individuals who are trained in setting and mapping out a building plan. They also give out instructions to the laboureres, directing them on what to do.

The labourers:

they are the least personality. Their roles and functions depends solely on the owner and the Engineers. They can’t function or carry out any responsibility without being assigned.

Of all the list of personalities mentioned, the owner of the building project seems to be the bedrock and the basics of any building under construction.

This scenario gives an explicit definition of our responsibilities and accountability to our lives.
No matter how close or attached you are to certain kind of people. You still have to understand that other people’s opinion generally have the least role to play in your life. similarly, The duty of people in your life can be summarized as follows.

observe -your life is like diary, as each day passes by, people are so eager and often curious to know what becomes of you.

Critisize – there are people who often finds it so pleasuring and fun looking out for people’s fault and mistakes. Such people are ever ready to critisize others. They often look out for flaws rather than effort

Interpret – a lot of people are often ready to pass out their judgement after observations.

With all this illustrations, it can be deduced that You are the most important and essential personality of your life. Because you are the architect of your life. Your dreams and achievement depends and relies solely on the foundation you set up. While others observes and critisize you, your duty is to reshape and reconstruct your life into your desired form, just like the building owner. Others may contribute, but your opinion and decisions over your life becomes the ultimate.

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Should I go back to my ex?

Should I go back to my ex? 15
Is it right to go back to your ex?

The issue of Ex’s surfacing from nowhere to interfere in a present relationship is a very critical issue that really calls for adequate attention.

The true definition of an EX.

The prefix “Ex”. Which was derived from the word Expired means no longer valid or in existence. When a  break up occurs, it is assumed that the relationship has come to an end and their presence in your life no longer exist. You then have two options. Either to make up by settling  whatever is the  issue or part ways.

If you’ve both chosen to part ways, you are expected to learn whatever lessons that is necessary and move on so as to avoid repeating it in your next relationship. Moving into another relationship immediately may not be the best especially if there are still unresolved feelings.

But reverse is the case today, so many people break up. Only to start entertaining distractions from their Ex’s. Don’t allow your ex ruin your present relationship. If you can’t handle the issue of  being friends with them without involving emotions, is better to  part ways and stop constant communications. Most times, they ain’t coming back  for a genuine reason. They called to see you doesn’t necessarily mean they missed you. It could be to lure you to their satisfaction and dump you afterwards.  I’ve never seen a food item retains its potency, value or taste after expiring. Or a product still strong and effective after undergoing series of repair. .
If you can’t resolve your issues during break up.

What makes you think you can resolve them after break up?
If they can’t change during the relationship, how do you think they would after break up?
Remember If you were both meant for each other, there wouldn’t be the break up in the first place. Whatever made them to leave you initially would still make them to leave you the second time.

Resolution after break up. How possible is it?

Respect your new partner. If you haven’t moved on, please save someone the heartache of being emotionally attached to you whereas your heart is still with another.
Don’t entertain ex’s distraction to avoid loosing at both ends.